Baseball Heavy: The Champion PawSox Blog

Ramp Champ #48: Tim Naehring

2012-02-01T17:41:00.002-05:00

Tim Naehring is a SS/3B type who played for the Pawtucket Red Sox in 1989 and 1990. And then he returned in 1992 for eleven games, 1993 for 55 games, and then like four games in '94. And did you know that one of his legs is shorter than the other?

In 1989, a 22-year-old Naehring played in 79 games, mostly at short. He batted .275, hit three home runs, and stole a couple of bases.

In 1990, Naehring appeared in 82 games, again mostly as a shortstop. He hit 15 home runs and struck out 56 times. It would be the most home runs he'd hit in a season for the PawSox.

In '92, Naehring appeared in 11 Pawtucket games. He had ten hits - No doubles, no triples, just a bunch of singles and two home runs. Injuries, man.

1993 - Naehring hangs around with guys like John Valentin and Steve Lyons for 55 games. He batted .307 and walked more than he struck out.

And finally, Naehring made his final appearance in a PawSox uniform in 1994, appearing in 4 games and hitting two doubles. Although I suppose he could have worn his uniform in his leisure time, like at the First and Last Chance Cafe.

Two things:
1. "Mike Lieberthal scored the winning run when shortstop Tim Naehring apparently forgot how many outs there were in the bottom of the 12th inning, allowing the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Red Barons to defeat the Pawtucket Red Sox, 4-3, last night in the International League." - Philly Inquirer, AUG 1993.
2. ''The kid (Naehring) made a nice play and had two more hits today,'' Boggs said. ''I've liked the way he swings the bat. The Sox got him as an eighth-round draft pick. . . . I like that. I was in the seventh round. You don't have to be a first-round guy, heh?'' - source

And where might you find Tim Naehring's mural at McCoy Stadium? He's hard to find... Upper portion of the third base tower. Dude, no one goes up there. Some little kid died there back in 1980 after slipping on the wet cement... Some fans swear she's still wandering around, looking for her parents, holding a little PawSox pennant in her hand...

Mike Tamburro doesn't need to wonder, he's doing fine.

2012-02-01T15:49:00.002-05:00

Mike Tamburro's going to the International League Hall of Fame.

Let's talk to it!

1. "If Mike Tamburro were to take a page from late night talk show David Letterman and compose a top 10 list based exclusively on all the achievements and accolades bestowed upon him over the years, chances are the exercise would tug at the heart of the team president of the Pawtucket Red Sox." - McGair

2. The Providence paper... ZZZZZ...

Well! Evidently no one else in Rhode Island wants to recognize this accomplishment. What the hell is wrong with people? Mike Tamburro will mop up fruit punch spills on the concourse for YOU. Mike Tamburro took the public's suggestions very seriously at the Hot Stove Party! For YOU.

Tremendous news. Congratulations.

Dustin Richardson was on the PawSox.

2012-01-27T14:24:00.003-05:00

Although I have no real, lasting memories of the lad, I did do an entire post about him and said things like, "If Richardson walked into a bar with Tommy Hottovy, only I would know who they were and be able to tell them apart" and "Dustin Richardson's been called up? A lefty? Can we throw Hunter Jones in the Trashco brand trash receptacle now?"

Let's see what some of the kool kidz are saying!

1. HEADLINE: "DUSTIN RICHARDSON DOES HIS BEST BILL O'REILLY IMPERSONATION" - Chad Moriyama

2. "You know why America hasn’t reached Mars yet? Because man hasn’t pushed the limits of human endurance yet. Sure, maybe Dustin Richardson is a hero, or maybe, just maybe, he’s a true American hero." - Old Time Family Baseball

3. Come on, guys! I needed more than two interesting points of view!

I do find it wicked funny that Richardson's MOM talked to the Big Grey Paper. I mean, I would have died, and this is coming from someone whose mother did something very similar.

Anyway, I totally knew that guy was on something when he was in Pawtucket. What sober person gets their last name tattooed on their back in Red Sox font?

2012 Pawtucket Red Sox Hot Stove Party: Why It Was Off the Hook

2012-01-18T15:30:00.002-05:00

What made the 2012 Pawtucket Red Sox Hot Stove party the greatest one I have ever been to?

Was it:
a) Luis Exposito's Atwells Avenue hair
b) All the free Cheez Puffies you could cram into your wordhole
c) Free minty cocoa shots to stave off the brutal, stabbing ice wind
d) Heaven on earth for New England metal folding chair fetishists!

NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO! Let me tell you in great detail why it was wonderful and beautacious and tubular.

Okay, Luis Exposito's hair was a pretty big factor... Almost as important as Alex Wilson's ugly cowboy boots. Although his boots may be very nice, I don't know, I'm not from a red state. But the greatest thing of all was the Visitor's Clubhouse featuring a town hall-style forum led by Mike Tamburro and Lou Schwechheimer! It was the greatest thing I have ever seen! All you had to do was raise your hand and suggest something and the gents took it under advisement! Like the one guy who was all, "Yes, I have a question. The hamburgers suck!" And Mike Tamburro like, wrote it down!

It was terrific. There were some good ideas. One woman was like, hey, how about a pitch count on the scoreboard, WHICH WAS EXACTLY WHAT MY SUGGESTION WOULD HAVE BEEN!!! Who was this amazing mystery woman and why is she not my best friend and drinking buddy? (Note: they are working on it.)

One really brainless idea: A woman said they should let the season ticket holders in before everyone else. So Tamburro was all, okay, when do you think they should let them in?

The woman's response? "Like fifteen minutes before everyone else." What? What exactly is the point other than to just waltz in in front of everybody and flaunt privilege? There can be no other reason because why else would you want that? So you can piss in an unsullied toilet? So you can be first in line for a hot dog?

How about you just make yourself a pageant sash that says, "I GET TO GO IN BEFORE YOU"?

Mike Tamburro is the greatest. I wish he were my neighbor.

In a related story, new radio guy Aaron Goldsmith was out and about, fielding questions and shaking hands and whatnot. I sympathize with him a little bit, since Danny Hoard left some big pants to fill. Goldsmith may have a little edge in the moss department, though, because his hair is unstoppable. I am optimistic and look forward to the first radiocast!

Two things:
1. Games you might wanna check out include May 28-31 (Ron Johnson returns to McCoy Stadium as manager of the Tides), August 14-17 (PawSox play Scrankees as visitors in Pawtucket), and April 20-23 (Durham Bulls make sole visit to Rhode Island.) There may be others, depending on what you're into.
2. Alex Wilson was the least boring special guest player. Brandon Duckworth looks like he lost weight... Did anyone see that? Was it my imagination? HELLO?!
3. Arnie Beyeler said he knew who the PawSox 2012 hitting coach was going to be, but would not budge on details. Beyeler also looks trimmer. Also, if you know who Cookie Rojas is, damn! That guy must have spent 1000 hours at the gym.
4. I love that it was at night! The past couple of years it's been restrictively crowded and almost unpleasant. This year it was comfy, streamlined, organized. Terrific job, everybody.

I miss Bob.

Ramp Champ # 47 - Joe Morgan

2012-01-10T12:09:00.002-05:00

Joe Morgan is an infielder/outfielder/manager who managed the Pawtucket Red Sox from 1974 to 1982. WHAT. Morgan was manager during the LONGEST GAME IN BASEBALL HISTORY in 1981. (Quit being so stubborn, Kenny, and read the book.)

Here are the win/loss records under Morgan:

1974 - 57-87
1975 - 53-87
1976 - 68-70
1977 - 80-60
1978 - 81-59
1979 - 66-74
1980 - 62-77
1981 - 67-73
1982 - 67-71

Two things:
1. The end.

The Syracuse vs The Providence

2012-01-05T16:03:00.001-05:00

I've seen this game before: Providence gives Big East powerhouse a run for their money in the first half, struggles at the onset of the second half, comes back strong with six minutes left... Maybe even pulls ahead... And then loses. Oh, Providence.

The Syracuse fans reminded me of Yankees fans. PC fans are totally Chipster, though. I had a great time, but part of me was hoping for a surprise upset. That's me and Billy in the picture, at a different game with a happier ending.

Please enjoy the McGair story about the game, Cooley, Boeheim, and YOU GOTTA HIT THOSE FREE THROWS, FRESHIE!!!!

How stoned is this guy?

2012-01-03T22:01:00.000-05:00

"whats is everyones favorite fruit!!??"

Roy, you're really weird.

2012-01-03T15:37:00.003-05:00

Pawtucket Red Sox radio guy Dan Hoard's replacement is Aaron Goldsmith, coming from the Texas Rangers' double-A team, the Frisco RoughRiders. He looks quite young. Can't wait to bump his radiocast all summer!

Today I learned of 12 minor league signings. Rich Hill I knew about a while back, and I was thrilled to hear of his return. Another welcome return is Brandon Duckworth, who pitched well in 2011 for the PawSox. And Tony Pena Jr's back! Nate Spears gets a fresh start!

I'm going to take a look at some of the other signings with help from some blogs I've come across.

1. LHP Jesse Carlson, coming from Toronto. Did not pitch last year, expects to be ready by spring. Would you like to see some pictures of him rehabbing? Also, BoSox Injection's Derek Stykalo takes a closer look. Okay, am I crazy or does it kind of look like the Berlin (CT) Patch broke this story? What a scoop!

Also recommended: Drunk Jays Fans' take.

2. RHP Carlos Silva - SCOTTPRIEST of TEDSARMY.COM says, "Fear not, Red Sox fans who think the rotation is not deep enough. Ben Cherington has saved the day with the signing of the mighty Carlos Silva."

3. RHKB Charlie Haeger - Back in July, "charliezink16" exclaimed, "HOLY F*CK no way, I fuggin love Charlie Haeger i'm speechless this is awesome haha, Haeger was signed to pitch in AAA and get Lavarnway some knuckleballs before going up to catch Wakefield, YUP" (Sox Prospects Forum)

4. RHP Will Inman - Looked around a little bit for some reaction or comment but I came up virtually empty-handed. So I give you this, from John Arguello of 'Cubs Den' -

"Inman was once a top 10 prospect with the Padres. He's a finesse pitcher who relies on control and command of his pitches. Oddly his walk rate has been going up while his strikeout rate continues to climb, all the way up to 9.23 last season. He's still young, actually younger than prospect Chris Rusin, and if he can find his control he can still be a useful bottom of the rotation starter. It doesn't make him better than guys like Rusin or Eric Jokisch, but he could add some depth and competition."

5. RHP Doug Mathis - Conor Duffy of Sox.Rox gets into it a little bit.

6. RHP Chorye Spoone - Start by reading this from Hardball Times. Then, check out this forum where Spoone's mother says: "The Orioles did offer Chorye a minor league contract but he decided that from the offers that he had...Boston was the best fit for him in the Relief role. While we will miss being able to watch him close by we wish him the best in Boston."

7. LHP Justin Thomas - All I keep coming up with is Justin Thomas committing to Georgia Tech. Sorry.

8. INF/SS Pedro Ciriaco - Nothing. Not one Red Sox blogger could throw together an analysis? A profile, a projection? A personality piece? Instead, here's 'Wiffleball Hero' from the ONLYBUCS.NET forum: "Sam Holbrook clearly doesn't get Pedro Ciriaco's speed. Pedro Ciriaco is Usain Bolt in stirrups out there! They said Bolt had a false start too. The fools. Nobody understands what guys like Bolt and Pedro Ciriaco are capable of."

As always, please refer to soxprospects.com for the best and most thorough information.

Ramp Champ #46 - Rick Miller

2012-01-03T14:05:00.002-05:00

Rick Miller is an outfielder who played for the Pawtucket Red Sox in 1970. At that time, the PawSox were Boston's double-A team. He was 22 years old.

Through 113 games, Miller batted .237 and hit 12 home runs. He walked 75 times and struck out 77.

Two things:
1. Rick Miller is now the manager of the New England Collegiate Baseball League's New Bedford Bay Sox! Guess who's checking out a new ballpark this summer!
2. Donald Dilly, Katsuhiro Shitanishi, Leslie Slough, John Mountain. Heard of any of these guys? They played with Miller on the PawSox. No? Then how about Carlton Fisk and Juan Beniquez!

Rick Miller's hard to find at McCoy, but I will make a point in 2012 to get up to the upper portion of the third base tower to pay a visit. I may also re-write "Celluloid Heroes" and make it about PawSox players of yore, such as Mr. Miller here...

Josh Reddick got lost in Providence more than once.

2011-12-30T12:55:00.003-05:00

I'm going to sift through the archives and take a look back at Reddick's time with Pawtucket, starting in August 2009. He didn't start the season with Pawtucket - Guys like Jonathan Van Every, Zach Daeges, Sean Danielson, Jeff Corsaletti, Chip Ambres, and occasionally Jeff Bailey were covering the outfield. And Freddy Guzman, Brian Anderson, Bubba Bell, and Mark Kotsay. And Chris Carter and Chris Duncan. It was the year that Bobby Scales got called up to the big leagues for the first time in his career.

Kid, precious kid:
1. First appearance! "Reddick hit an RBI triple in the seventh." It was versus Gwinnett. Reddick was flanked by Bubba Bell and Jeff Bailey in the OF.

2. 8/26/2009 - Josh Reddick, now Pawtucket's leadoff guy, hits a walkoff RBI single off Buffalo reliever Eddie Kunz.

3. 8/27/2009 -

"Reddick made possibly the greatest diving outfield catch I've ever seen at McCoy. Sixth inning, one out, shortstop Andy Green at the plate. And Green drives one out to left center! Reddick fucking LEAPS to his left, I mean, the kid is PARALLEL to the ground! And he snapped that ball up!! The crowd went nutso, people were standing up and cheering!
I would try to re-enact this for you if I had any hope of doing it justice. But you would just laugh and laugh. I hope someone somewhere recorded it... I hope someone aside from me writes about it. I love you, Josh Reddick!"

WOW! Glad I was at that game.

4. 8/30/2009 - Pawtucket plays @ the Yankees in a Pennsylvania double header: "Josh Reddick made an outfield assist, which reminds me of Sean Danielson and his very exciting assisting outfield arm." Yeah, Danielson was a small guy with a big, big arm. I used to love it when visiting teams tried to run home on SPD. HA! GOTCHA!

5. Opening Day, 2010 - I correctly predicted Reddick would bat first in the lineup. I had Jorge Jimenez batting 8th, but Torey Lovullo placed him second. My idea was much better, in retrospect.

6. A few days later... "Josh Reddick is still searching for his first hit. All the fans are really worried about this. Looks like his career may in fact be over. What happened to the prospect who did so much in the low minors? Reddick is a shell of himself. And the front office is whispering about possible trades." (I hope you recognize that I was not being serious.)

7. 4/15/10 - "Bubba Bell led off in place of Josh Reddick. Right now they are interchangeable, which is weird because Bubba Bell is not going to last the season in Pawtucket. And Reddick is media masturbation material." That's true.

8. 5/15/2010 - "Josh Reddick went 0-5 with a strikeout. Hey, I know what would help, Josh! Get another wacky haircut!" Funny how fast love disappears when the player starts losing it at the plate. This would not be my last reference to Reddick's hair. I can't believe it bothered me that much.

9. And the next day: "Did you know that Pawtucket got 14 hits and left 10 batters on base? You can thank Tug Hulett, Josh Reddick, and Angel Sanchez for that. Those three no-goodniks each came up twice with two outs and RISP and did not produce a run." Is Angel Sanchez still on my favorite team, the Astros?

10. Boof, there it is!

"So with two outs, Ellsbuhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifry walks and Josh Reddick hits the ball hard to right. Chris Duncan has a hard time coming up with it and Ellsbury scores... Josh Reddick is running his ass off and Lovullo is furiously waving him in but the incredible edible Carlos Maldonado is waiting with the ball. Reddick tries to dodge Maldonado but YEAH RIGHT and he is out and he tumbles down to the ground. It looked painful and N. Romero helped him up but he was okay.

Sometimes I think Josh Reddick is really dumb, although it was his manager waving him in. I don't know about that guy."

(May 17th 2010)

11. Jake Arrieta is a badass: "Arrieta's first K was also the first batter he faced, that being Josh Reddick. Not too interesting, since Reddick strikes out more than anyone on the team. And, seriously, it's not like he's Daniel Nava who also strikes out a lot, but leads the team in OBP." - (5.20.10, Arrieta pitches seven scoreless innings and gets 10 K's.)

12. "Josh Reddick is no longer the leadoff hitter. Reddick has some serious problems at the plate right now." (May 24th 2010) (Tug Hulett took his place batting in the one-hole. Yup. Torey Lovullo, folks.)

13. 5.29.10 - Reddick's struggles continue: "Everyone on the PawSox got a hit except for Josh Reddick. Reddick's had a tough time, but what can you do except get up and go to work?"

14. 6.27.2010 - Reddick slowly starts heating up: "But it was the third inning when Pawtucket scored five runs... Shealy's two-run homer and Josh Reddick's three-run blast. Yes, Josh Reddick. Don't bury him cause he's not dead yet."

15. 6.29.10 vs. SWB Yankees - "PJ Pilittere also tried to cross the plate on Rivera's hit, but he was thrown out at home by the ordinarily useless Josh Reddick. Good work, Reddick. This pissed off Yankees manager Dave Miley enough to get him ejected while he was arguing the tag at home plate."

16. 7.21.10 - "Josh Reddick went 0-4 with two K's yesterday. And then after the game I read an article about how he is allegedly improving."

17. 7.29.10 - "Reddick is back and he went 3-4 with a triple."

18. 8.6.10 - Yankees win, 9-5, and it is mostly Kris Johnson's fault. "Reddick cleared the bases and tried to make it all the way to third, but center fielder Greg Golson relayed that shit right over. OUT!" And then... "Reddick led off the ninth inning with a home run and, uh-oh! Bases loaded with one out for reliever Jonathan Albaladejo! But neither Aaron Bates nor Yamaico Navarro felt like doing something nice for the fans and rather selfishly struck out. What a couple of jerks." Also, Reddick started batting leadoff again.

19. August 9th, again with the Yankees: "Josh Reddick went 0-4 and twice came up with runners in scoring position, but could not help his team out. I get no joy from sharing that. Okay, maybe a little joy."

20. "Josh Reddick went 3-5 and is maybe superstitious, since he is still wearing his prostate cancer wrist bands from a couple of weeks ago." (8/13/10)

21. 8.24.10 - "Josh Reddick went 3-4 with two home runs. If he's crowned team MVP then I will projectile vomit." That wasn't very nice of me. They wound up losing this game to Buffalo, anyway, 12-4, thanks to Kris Johnson and TJ Large.

22. But the next day, Reddick continued his onslaught v. the Bisons: "Looks like Josh Reddick went 5-5 with another home run. His parents must be so proud. I'm glad I don't have to work with him."

23. And again the next day! "In the tenth inning, Josh Reddick hit a grand slam, but who cares because Jorge Jimenez hit an RBI single earlier in the inning which would have won the game right there. Manuel pitched the bottom of the inning and the Bisons didn't score, so think about that!" Maybe I was so hard on Reddick because I cared too much.

24. 8/27/10 - Reddick continues storming the castle: "Josh Reddick hit a three-run homer and I still think he's a jackass." Wow, what the hell was my problem?

25. "Reddick hit two doubles. They are going to give him the team MVP award. I have no idea why I care so much about this. But it's gonna be this cliched thing about his early struggles and what a fighter he is and what a professional young man he is and I swear, I am going to throw up.." - (AUG 28 2010) (Bubba Bell got the MVP, and rightfully so.)

26. 9/6/2101 - Last game of the Pawtucket season, Red Sox beat Syracuse 4-3. Reddick hits a two-run homer.

27. 4/8/2011 - A new season, a new start: "Pawtucket loaded the bases in the ninth, but Josh Reddick failed to get a run across, instead grounding into a double play. Instead of insulting him, I'll just say 'It happens' and it's a long season so better luck next time."

26. 4.23.11 - "Josh Reddick tripled and of course Nava and Navarro made it across. 2-0 PawSox! Good triple, Josh Reddick."

27. 4.28.2011 - "Reddick and Sutton, 3-5. These guys are fire oil. Reddick with two home runs."

28. 5.14.2011 - "Josh Reddick's home run in the sixth killed DJ Mitchell's no-hitter. Attaboy, Josh Reddick!"

29. 6.13.2011 - "With one out in the top of the second, Reddick retrieved a hard hit ball by Danks at the warning track, a 400-foot shot. Reddick bashed into the wall on the catch and had to be tended by medical personnel for nearly five minutes. The inning ended on a double play with third baseman Hector Luna catching a line drive by Milledge and tossing over to first to get Tyler Flowers (walk) out at the bag. Reddick was okay and did stay in the game." (Steve Mazzone, Pawtucket paper)

And that was it. Boston came calling and it was adios, Pawtucket. Hope you can piece together an idea of Reddick's time with the PawSox. Good night and god bless.

Ramp Champ #45 - Lou Merloni

2011-12-29T15:00:00.002-05:00

Wow, okay, Lou Merloni. This could take all day. You could just read this balanced, comprehensive web page, though. They say Framingham is the San Antonio of Massachusetts.

Lou Merloni is a utility infielder who played for the Pawtucket Red Sox for like ten years. No, okay, it was 1996-2002.

In 1996, Merloni split time between double and triple-A. He played in 38 Pawtucket games, batting .252 with a .328 OBP. His time at second, third, and short was divvied up fairly evenly. And everybody was doing the Macarena.

1997 - Merloni was back in Pawtucket, hitting five home runs through 49 games. This may also have been the year he decided to cultivate a goatee. He was walked intentionally two times. It would be the last Pawtucket season that this would happen.

1998 - Merloni's Boston debut! When he wasn't with the big club, he was playing in 27 games for Pawtucket. Since between the two teams he only played 66 games, he must have been injured or something. Merloni had a hot bat during his brief Pawtucket stay, batting .386 with eight home runs! 1.234 OPS! He walked more than he struck out! LOOOOOUUU!!!

Space! 1999! Lou Merloni, spending a little more time in the Ocean State. 66 games, 64 hits, mostly playing shortstop. He hit 14 doubles and drove in 36 runs.

In 2000, Merloni decided to try his luck in Japan. He did not get much playing time, though, so he returned to America halfway through the season. Merloni got his old job back, mostly because he was a F.O.N. He spent most of that time with Boston, but turned up with the PawSox for eleven games, still mostly as a shortstop.

2001 -

"Entering the 2001 season, Lou was still in Pawtucket. On his birthday, he was called up to the majors, but he didn't last too long. Whiney, terrible short stop Craig Grebeck (who i have a permanent grudge against because he is the ONLY person keeping Lou in Pawtucket!!!!!!!!!!!) is the reason for Lou's demotion."

(Aleta's Lou Merloni biography)

52 Boston games, 52 Pawtucket games. Lou was getting pissed about being sent down. Merloni struck out a lot.

And finally, in 2002, Merloni squeezed in 11 Pawtucket games. It was terrible, he batted .200 and was probably in a very bad mood.

Two things:
1. I'm sure you all know about the "Merloni Shuttle", which is the route you take from Boston to Pawtucket. Here's what you do: Get off 95 south at exit 29. TRUST ME. Go through the stop sign... No, just go through it, no one's ever coming anyway and it's a One Way. Then bear right onto Broadway. STAY IN THE CENTER LANE. After the light, bear left. The road immediately splits, so stay right.

Take a left at the stop sign onto Walcott. Go up a couple of blocks BUT DO NOT DRIVE ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE RED LIGHT! That's where the traffic holds you up so don't do it. Take a right onto one of the side streets, Denver or French or something. Park in that area, it's free. Or, if you're Merloni, zig-zag over to McCoy and park near the home plate tower. When you see all the expensive cars with tints, that's where you deposit your whip.

2. "Sunday's fifth inning added extra flavor as both benches cleared when Pawtucket's Lou Merloni charged the mound. Merloni was hit by a pitch in the third inning and again in the fifth by Bulls starter Mickey Callaway. In the bottom of the fifth, Pawtucket's starter Jin Ho Cho and manager Gary Jones were ejected from the game after Durham's McClain was hit by a pitch. The game accumulated a total of six hit batters and one wild pitch." - (May 1999) Wow, our little Lou charged the mound? How out of character!

***BONUS THING***
3. "Youkilis has, he accepts, been more of a curiosity, and a likable curiosity, than anything else, and he's been that for what he views as three reasons. ''I get paid the least," he said. ''I have that going for me. If I do well it's, 'Good.' If I don't, well, it's, 'We're not paying him anything.' They can chant my name easily. And they miss Lou Merloni. I swear, it's because they miss Lou. They can't chant 'Louuuuu,' so they chant 'Youuuuk.' " Yes, there was a time when Kevin Youkilis was some fat minor leaguer who was not as interesting as Lou Merloni! (source)

I can't remember where Merloni's picture is. Yes, I have the location of all the other ones committed to memory. I'm a pretty big hit at parties.

Middle of the third base tower. Okay? Pass the blunt/cheese puffs. GOD.

I can't turn Derek Livernois into a sexy Santa.

2011-12-23T12:25:00.003-05:00

Probably for the best.

Speaking of Santa, I had occasion to collect a Secret Santa gift last night and you would not believe it.

I got a complete card set of the 1991 Pawtucket Red Sox, which includes Zupcic, Wedge, MO FUCKING VAUGHN, Phil Plantier, and, yes, Derek Livernois. My lord and savior.

The person who gave it to me just had it, you know, just like lying around the house since... Well, I guess since 1991! It's the craziest thing. You really, really have to see it to believe it. I have been kicked in the butt by nostalgia. And I own it and you do not.

REMARKABLE!

Kyle Evered is not a professional baseball player.

2011-12-22T14:41:00.002-05:00

Years ago, I got a bobblehead at a CT Defenders game that was Kyle Evered. He's a smiling brunette with a bat in his hands. I thought nothing of it, really, except that it was a cute souvenir. I hadn't heard of him, but that didn't mean much. Some people have never heard of Olmo Rosario, either, and boy do I feel bad for them!

So Kyle's been on my computer desk since then and recently I wondered whatever happened to him. I figured I'd look him up, do a little research. EXCEPT KYLE EVERED DID NOT SEEM TO EXIST. No stats, no player pages, no encyclopedia entries. Weird, right? Maybe he was on the Trenton Thunder or something? No. Nothing.

Turns out that Kyle Evered is just some kid who won a contest where they make a bobblehead out of you. I'm not disappointed, though, because if this kid ever makes it to the big leagues then my bobblehead is worth ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

I also have a Heidi Watney mini b'head that doesn't look much like her. Watney got a bad rap, but some people have ludicrous expectations for a TV personality/sideline reporter. You were expecting Woodward and Bernstein-level reporting? AS IF TOM CARON IS PERFECT AND EXCELLENT AND GRIPPING. Tom Caron sucks, okay? He lacks substance, passion, and ambition. People dig him, though. Maybe because he's not that cute.

I certainly hope Watney remembers to keep herself covered up, because if other people in the industry harass her, then it's completely her fault. WITCH.

6.16.2011 Pawtucket Red Sox v Lehigh Valley IronPigs - At least I hit a home run.

2011-12-22T10:45:00.004-05:00

Pawtucket WINS! 6-5 in ten innings, even though the IronPigs hit three home runs. Give me a minute to mentally prepare myself for the excitement of a game from six months ago.

SIX MONTHS IS LIKE HALF A YEAR!!! Oh my god. Drew Sutton, even.

Red Sox starter Felix Doubront pitched five innings. Of course. Doubront gave up three runs on six hits (two of them home runs), one of them unearned. What if 2012 is a monster year for Doubront? I would love that.

LVIP starter was Brian Bass, who is surely getting old. Bass worked himself up to 94 pitches through six innings, giving up three runs in the process. Wow, what a boring start.

Nothing really happened until the top of the third, when beloved center fielder Rich Thompson reached on an error by third baseman Hector Luna. Thompson then dashed over to second when Doubront threw a wild pitch to Brian Bocock.

So what did Bocock do? Bunt. He bunted. He got on base. Good job, son! No outs and bases loaded for Lehigh Valley! And John Mayberry coming up?

Doubront got Mayberry to ground into a force out, though, but Thompson came home to put LV up 1-0. Doubront then walked Brandon Moss to re-load the bases. Batters Delwyn Young and Brandon Moss both made outs and ended the threat of pain.

Top of the fourth, Tagg Bozied hit a solo home run to make it 2-0 IronPigs. Or FePigs, unless there's a chemical symbol for 'pig'. And then finally Pawtucket did something about it after promising their father they wouldn't do the things he'd done and walk away from trouble if they could.

Bottom of the fourth, Yamaico Navarro leading off. Single. Drew Sutton, HBP. There you go, Lars Anderson. Two guys on for YOU. Anderson grounds out, which moved everyone over but is still disappointing.

Hector Luna took advantage of the gifts presented to him and hit an RBI single. Then little copycat Daniel Nava did the same. Tie game!

Lavarnway walked. Reddick flied out, scoring Luna. 3-2 Pawtucket.

I'm gonna skip ahead because this is killing me and I have stuff to do.

The game was tied and so it went into extra innings. Bottom of the tenth, Pigs reliever and former PawSox lefty reliever Juan Perez was pitching to Anderson, Luna, and Nava. How do you feel about those odds? Perez walked Anderson, because Anderson can take a damn walk. Luna K'd. Nava singled to left. ALIVE!

So now we have Lavarnway in the equation, and the best part of 2011 PawSox was exactly him. Lavarnway. That kid lit the park up with his bat! It was the most excitement McCoy had seen since 2008. Ben Mondor would have loved it.

Lavarnway singled to right, Anderson scored. Hooray! Wait, was I at this game? Maybe. It was only Lavarnway's third Pawtucket game after being called up, and already with the slugging.

Win goes to Randy Williams, who pitched the top of the tenth. Jason Rice, who I forgot even existed until just now, provided egg-cellent relief as well, going 2 1/3 scoreless.

Brian Bass digs dirt:
1. Lehigh Valley's Bronko Zagurski blew the save for Bass, giving up a pair of runs in the seventh. Jason Grilli also pitched, managed not to crap his pants.
2. Franklin Morales got some key relief outs for Pawtucket. He also gave up a two run homer. Morales may or may not have pierced nipples.
3. Dave Mc writes: "I was all ready to write a four paragraph post about why Brian Bass is the best qualified of our available candidates to be the #4 pitcher in the rotation. Then I realized that I was about to write four paragraphs about why Brian Bass should be our #4 pitcher and I spent some quality time trying to drown myself in the toilet in frustration and shame. Damn 1.6 gallon toilets. In the old days I could have gotten my whole head in." Not really relevant, but funny nonetheless. ('Weaver's Tantrum' blog, March 2009)
4. I don't mean to be an asshole about Brian Bass. I totally forgot about this. Again we see there is nothing you can possess which I cannot take away.
5. Hector Luna's part of the Phillies now. So when Lehigh Valley comes on April 7th, give him a warm welcome. No, I don't mean a blow job, Mother.
6. By the way, 'The Horn and Bell' is the best and most dedicated International League fan blog around. It's very exciting and just might make you wanna go to their ballpark.
7. Ronnie Belliard was on the IronPigs up until about two days before this very game. He retired. Did he really?
8. Yes, he really did. Robert Baumann breaks it down.

TONIGHT! A meeting of the Blackstone Valley Media Club, in which the Secret Santa thing goes down. I had Walsh, tell no one. Also, if you know that 'Chariho' is not a prostitute that does freebies, then you know where I'm heading this afternoon.

I love you all so much.

All I want for Christmas is someone to bankroll my 2012 Spring Training vacation.

2011-12-20T18:41:00.002-05:00

My last spring training experience was 2006's Cactus League trip. I WANT TO GO BACK SO BAD. If I go, I'll work so hard and write about everything and learn about pitching statistics and take it very seriously!

I think I said a lot of nice things about Ryan Lavarnway, Randy Williams, and Brandon Duckworth in 2011 so maybe one of those guys should step up and pay me back.

Or how about, hey, Kris Johnson, throw a few hundy my way and I'll retract all my prior slanderous comments.

The road to building a media empire is evidently filled with years of no reward except having my utilities shut off.

Ramp Champ #44 - Cla Meredith

2011-12-20T15:21:00.002-05:00

Cla Meredith is a right-handed relief pitcher who appeared in 40 games with the Pawtucket Red Sox in 2005 and then eight more in 2006. He was 22-23 years old.

In 2005, Meredith split closing duties with Tim Bausher. He closed 25 out of 40 games he appeared in and finished the season with a 2-5 record and a 5.59 ERA.

Through 13.2 innings pitched in 2006, Meredith walked five and K'd 14. He gave up 8 earned runs and posted a 5.27 ERA. Bring Up Cla Meredith!

Two things:
1. "IMO from the one inning I saw with my naked untrained eye, he looked like a put together BK with control. A slightly harder throwing version of Chad Bradford, with maybe a smidge more bite. He really impressed the heck out of me keeping the ball down like he did. Not much you can do with his pitches if you make contact which might explain the 11-3 G/F ratio so far this year. Seems like he can really pound the bottom part of the strikezone." - "Nomar" said it here in April of 2005.
2. "Porpoise Delectable" assesses Meredith's fatal appearance v Seattle thusly:

"At the risk of sounding like a Cla pigeon (so to speak) I really didn't think the pitch to Sexson was all that bad. He tried to go low and away and caught too much of the plate. Sexson, with his long arms, had no trouble poking it over the Pesky Pole. Now I'll grant you the 2 walks prior to Sexson's bomb certainly didn't help. Curious that Tito brought him in to that situation. For a sinkerballer, he was definitely over-throwing (a fact Tito pointed out later). I was watching the Mariner TV b'cast and in close up's of him on the mound, you could see he was really breathing heavily. A major league debut will do that to you. He's likely headed back to Pawtucket before too long, but does anyone really doubt he'll ultimately be more valuable then Blaine Neal?"

(May 2005)

One Thing Extra:
1. "What stands out about Cla was how he warmed up once he took the field. He would start his routine by throwing to the catcher from in front of the mound. He would start getting further and further from the catcher and closer and closer to the mound. Obviously from very close up the ball would pop into the mitt very loudly. Not sure why he did this or when he started doing this, but it definitely got the attention of the other team and for some reason seemed to intimidate them. He was DOMINANT!" (Some VCU alumnus)

That's a lot of links, but there's some really great stuff behind them.

You can smell the Old Virginia emanating from Cla Meredith's mural in the middle portion of the third base tower!

(pictured: Baby Cla Meredith)

Ron Johnson will manage the Norfolk Tides.

2011-12-16T17:51:00.003-05:00

It will be cool to see RJ back in the IL again. Who knows, maybe Jeff Bailey will end up in the Orioles org and it'll be just like old times.

This happened like two weeks ago but I was busy looking out the window in a gray warm-up suit because I am fighting depression. I don't even react when my dog nudges my hand.

So to sum up, here are your International League managers so far:

1. Buffalo Bisons - Wally Backman, who is fiery. He replaces 2011 manager Tim Teufel, who's with the big team now.

2. Charlotte Knights - Former Indians interim manager Joel Skinner! Dr. Nancy Golden writes a great story about her love for this guy. He replaces one of the greatest PawSox players of all time, Joe McEwing. McEwing's gotten the third base coaching job in Chicago, so let's toss a little confetti his way.

3. Columbus Clippers - Mike Sarbaugh. "Sarbaugh has never had a losing season in eight years as manager in the Cleveland Indians farm system, and has FIVE league championship titles in those eight seasons." - DP, 'Waiting for Next Year' Indians blog.

4. Durham Bulls - Charlie Montoyo.

5. Gwinnett Braves - Dave Brundage.

6. Indianapolis Indians - Dean Trainor.

7. Lehigh Valley IronPigs - Ryne Sandberg. But how long?

8. Louisville Bats - David Bell. He replaces Rick Sweet, who wanted to spend more time with Devin Mesoraco.

9. Rochester Red Wings - Gene Glynn. He replaces Tom Nieto, for obvious reasons.

10. Scranton Wilkes-Barre Yankees - Dave Miley.

11. Syracuse Chiefs - Tony Beasley. He replaces Randy Knorr, who's up with the big club now. Know who replaces Beasley at double-A Harrisburg? FORMER TWINS GREAT MATT LECROY! I loved LeCroy!! WHAT NOW, DUSTAN MOHR?

12. Toledo Mud Hens - Phil Nevin. I strongly recommend reading this.

And of course, Arnie Beyeler for Pawtucket. As far as we know!

6.10.11 Pawtucket Red Sox v Charlotte Knights - Devan Kovacevic

2011-12-16T13:02:00.005-05:00

Dejan Kovacevic covers the Pirates, who are the master team of the Indianapolis Indians. So it has nothing to do with the Charlotte Knights and everything to do with his top-notch work overall. He is one of my favorites!

Charlotte WINS! 3-1. Neither team scored until the bottom of the sixth inning, when Nate Spears hit an RBI double to put Pawtucket up 1-0. Knights starter Freddy Dolsi was gently removed at that point, like a rotten tooth gradually being rocked out of its socket by massive steel dental pliers.

Pawtucket starting pitcher was Brandon Duckworth, who pitched five scoreless innings. His pitch count was up to 66, so yeah, great move pulling the starter at such a crucial juncture in the game.

The Knight Sox tied the game up in the top of the seventh. Pawtucket reliever/starter/guy Scott Atchison led the inning off by walking first basehottie Jim Gallagher. Slugging threat Dayan Viciedo did what he's paid to do and singled to left. And then Dallas McPherson sac bunted to move those guys over! Nice job, McPherson!

The next batter was catcher Tyler Flowers, who grounded out to score Gallagher. And then Lastings Milledge grouned out to end the inning. Milledge went to Japan, right? The International League won't be the same.

In the top of the eighth, Knights second baseman Mark Loretta... No, Andrew Garcia. Garcia hit a solo home run to push Charlotte ahead 2-1. Scott Atchison again. It happens.

Pawtucket got a couple of guys on in the bottom of the eighth, but Hector Luna flew into a double play. That sounds way more exciting than grounding into a double play. It appears that Luna flew out to left and Milledge hucked the ball to second base, doubling off Josh Reddick. Hey, what the heck was Reddick doing?

Hideki Okajima came in to pitch the ninth. Okajima got one out before Dayan Viceido doubled to right. Dallas McPherson batted him in, because McPherson is all rugged and smart and classy and always does the right thing for the team and then like, goes and reads scripture. So 3-1 Knights. Nate Spears led off the ninth with a double off reliever Justin Turner... No, Josh Kinney. Spears' only hope for getting home was the next batter, Tony Thomas, but that didn't work out. The next two batters were Luis Exposito and Jose Iglesias. Game over. Even Nate Spears started taking his gear off after Thomas grounded out.

troika all the way:
1. Josh Kinney's Mariners property these days. Some people find him interesting.
2. This game included Daniel Nava, Josh Reddick, and Lars Anderson. WHO WILL BE THE FIRST TO GO? My guess is Reddick. I will miss his Pawtucket bat, a little.
3. You could also read this game summary, if you don't have a problem with 'Hidecki' and 'McPhearson'. Dejan Kovacevic never spells anyone's name wrong!
4. Knights starter Freddy Dolsi's first ever major league pitch was to Manny Ramirez. Guess what happened?
5. Nate Spears doubled twice, walked twice. Luis Exposito struck out three times.
6. Darnell McDonald! No hits for McDonald and he was caught stealing. Any chance of McDonald at McCoy in 2012? Oh please oh please.
7. Franklin Morales was also rehabbing, pitched an inning. Tyler Kepner wrote some stuff.

Yeah, Charlotte Knights. Who knows, maybe 2012 will be their year.

By the way I am going to Allentown.

2011-12-15T19:40:00.003-05:00

I'm not keeping my IL ballpark destination a secret this year. I'm gonna go see the PawSox @ IronPigs in June! I figuratively cannot wait! Maybe I'll contact the office over there and they can slap together some kind of welcome ceremony for me. They could use the press from an award-winning blogger such as myself.

It's the hottest park in the IL! And it's in Allentown, PA, which really says something! No one ever wrote an unflattering song about Toledo! OHMYGOD I have to find things to do! Is there a zoo? Some kind of crazy museum?

I'll see you there, right?

Who runs the PawSox Twitter?

2011-12-15T19:15:00.002-05:00

I don't know, sorry. Oh, wait, it says 'PawSox Pete', whoever that is.

Jed Lowrie's gone! He's gone and I miss him so much! Oh, I cry myself to sleep JED!!!

False. I do not miss him.

So like Mark Melancon's Red Sox property now and PawSox was all like, Oooh! We have this little video! OMG! Look, it's Mark Melancon at the ballpark like three years ago!

YOU WILL NEVER WIN AT THAT GAME, PAWSOX! How about instead everybody reads this awesome 2010 game summary featuring Melancon?

PawSox does win at some games: Safety, accuracy, palatability, homogenousness, and being family-oriented and possibly devout. Not all of those words can be found in the dictionary.

Kyle Weiland, also gone. To my favorite team, the Astros. I can't believe you didn't know that my favorite team was the Astros! I even bought the calendar!

I think PawSox on Twitter should be run by Sox. I'll bet she'd bring a real edge to things and sprinkle in some profanity and baseless character assassinations. Oh, sure, she's not always up to date with all her facts.... And sometimes she screws things up... But damn, Sox is entertaining! DON'T LET HER CUTE LITTLE OUTFIT FOOL YOU!

SOX FOR PRESIDENT!

Derek Livernois will last as long as the pyramids of Egypt.

2011-12-15T13:50:00.004-05:00

My emotional and nostalgic attachment to former McCoy Stadium PA guy Jim Martin is no joke. Recently I met a guy whose last name was 'Livernois' and suddenly I heard Martin's voice in my head, proclaiming that Derek Livernois was now pitching.

I remembered nothing about Derek Livernois aside from his name. I couldn't even pin down a time frame. Was it from when I first started Baseball Heavy? Or was it even further back, back to my days as a teenage soda jerk?

Turns out that sometimes, I have a killer memory! Derek Livernois played for the Pawtucket Red Sox in 1991, '92, and '93. How many combined games? 38.

Livernois' Red Sox career began in 1985 at age 18, when he pitched for the short-A Elmira Pioneers. He played for Greensboro, Winter Haven, Lynchburg, and New Britain before coming to the PawSox at age 24.

And so it came to pass that in 1991, Derek Livernois started in five Pawtucket games and gave up 23 earned runs. He finished with a 10.53 ERA. Who knows, maybe it was one bad game?

1992, DL spent most of his time in New Britain at the Double A level, but he started 6 Pawtucket games. He did much better, only giving up 18 earned runs.

In 1993, Derek Livernois pitched in 27 PawSox games. He started 14 of them. His ERA was 5.72. He gave up 13 home runs. His strikeout/walk ratio was 1.86. What more do you need to know?

And that was it. That is where the data ends. Derek Livernois didn't wind up on the Rochester Red Wings. He didn't head for the indy leagues. He certainly didn't crack the big leagues. Derek Livernois, six foot righty, for all intents and purposes, ceased to exist.

Until today, when I decided to write about someone I'd been thinking about for a week. And I hit the search engines. Deep. As in, Page 68 out of 156,000 results deep. That's what I do, I sift through search results until I get to the Sino-Russian websites.

Derek Liversnaps:
1. I think this is him. Living in North Carolina.
2. Aha! Livernois was a 15th round draft pick for Boston in 1985. He was a star pitcher at Lyman High School in Florida. So says writer Herky Cush. Great name.
3. A lot of people don't know this, but sometimes the Pawtucket Red Sox are referred to as the 'PawSox'. Well, guess what? The New Britain Red Sox were evidently referred to as the 'BritSox'. Get out! "With his stuff, Derek epitomizes pitching [as opposed to throwing]," manager Jim Pankovits said. "Making the hitters guess, hitting spots, moving the ball around. That's what pitching is all about." This quote is from a 'Derek Livernois is New Britain' story. And it is here.
4. Rhode Island's Ken Ryan worked with Livernois. I'll bet he has some stories!
5. And I am only linking to this tangential Lynchburg story because it kicks off with this killer line: "Scott Taylor and Vinnie Degifico aren't the guys most people think about when they talk about the Lynchburg Red Sox ballclub." HA!
6. Whoa, mustache!
7. "Obviously, we want to win every game now," said [Lynchburg] Sox starter Derek Livernois, who struck out 11 in seven innings to improve to 9-8. "It's better to go into the playoffs hot than cold. Plus now guys are trying to put up some good numbers." And the team's manager? GARY ALLENSON. NEW YORK TIMES MAGAZINE,GARY!
8. Derek pitched alongside Roger Clemens. I wonder if he learned anything?
9. In May of 1993, Livernois pitched a two-hitter against the Norfolk Tides but did not get the win.
10. WILDLY UNRELATED: Did Royce Clayton have a brother named 'Royal'?
11. This article refers to Livernois as a lefty.
12. In 1991, Derek Livernois went to a hospital in Worcester to have scar tissue removed from his shoulder.
13. "This is amazing," said Britsox pitcher Derek Livernois, surveying the damage from the stands. "I think it will hurt some of us starters. I needed to get some work in today." Flooding at the ballpark! Look at mother nature on the run in the nineteen nineties!

I guess that's it. I was hoping for a testimony from the man himself, revealing why he chose to exit stage left rather suddenly, but they never write those stories.

Tom Verducci is a bit of a dandy.

2011-12-13T13:11:00.002-05:00

While I was at the 2011 Granite State Baseball Dinner, I saw some guy who looked a lot like Tom Verducci prancing around, smiling and shaking hands.

I didn't think it could possibly be him, because the guy was foppish and bescarved. And besides, why would Verducci be in New Hampshire? Not even Sean McAdam was there.

I also noticed that he was taking snaps with people and hanging out with the actress who was in The Fighter. So I assumed he was some Hollywood cat and forgot about it.

I am now 99 percent certain it was Verducci and I will tell you why. He's been on the baseball channel here and there and I have to say, he's borderline Eurofancy. Tom Verducci! Who knew he was so stylish? Aren't sportswriters supposed to be rumpled and stained? God, I hate it when people aren't one-dimensional!

In a related story, Dusty Brown's flank has been branded by the Texas Rangers. No McCoy visits for Brown this year! Talk about being a dandy: Dusty Brown's sense of style was streets ahead of the other Pawtucket jockos. He wore some crazy, crazy outfits. That man was not afraid of bold colors.

Gil Velazquez update.

2011-12-08T16:31:00.002-05:00

Don't worry too much about Gil Velazquez. Turned out he had a great year in 2011.

"{GV} led all Angels full-season farmhands in batting and paced Triple-A shortstops in hitting and runs scored en route to being named a Pacific Coast League All-Star and a postseason Topps Triple-A All-Star." (source)

Looks like Velazquez is down in Mexico getting all tanned and toned. Sometimes when I think about the great Latin/Caucasian divide in baseball, I think of Velazquez in the Pawtucket dugout, sitting in the middle. In Pawtucket, if you speak Spanish then you sit closer to the outfield. All the rednecks sit closer to the clubhouse entrance, infieldish. It is a significant bummer that there's very little blending. I work with people from islands of significant baseball leanings and we are like one big happy family. It is not that fucking hard.

I wanted to write about that for Baseball Prospectus, but it was mountainous and way too much for me to handle. Craig Breslow's little doctor friend wrote about it in his stupid book. Although I suppose his point of views about "The Dominicans" was realistic, it was dismissive and insulting.

Maybe I will write a book about the Great Clubhouse Schism and get both sides of the story. Who knows, maybe Dominicans think gringos are lame and smell bad.

I'll exit with this quote: "Gil Velazquez was once the part-time savior from the harsh reality that Julio Lugo sucks." (from 'Lookout Landing', written by Aaron Campeau.)

Tramp Stamp #43: Justin Masterson

2011-12-08T14:28:00.003-05:00

I need to put Baseball Reference on speed dial. Where would I be without it? I wish I could put it atop my XMAS tree in lieu of an angel or a star or some hideous raffia abomination.

Justin Abomination Masterson is a tall, hairless righty who pitched in four games for the Pawtucket Red Sox in Junish 2008. That was a great year! Masterson started one game, was used in relief for the other three. Yes, that is all. It was part of his starter to reliever conversion, which I guess only takes one month at the triple-A level. Nowadays you can just pick up a SP/RP adapter for three bucks at the hardware store.

Through 9 1/3 innings, Masterson logged eight K's. Not bad! He hit one batter. Probably Kevin Barker.

He gave up one walk and one home run. I guess they cancel each other out, because a walk is as good as a home run. RIGHT?

Two things:
1. To put things in perspective, here are some cats who pitched in more games than JM in 2008: Mike Timlin. Beau Vaughan. Bartolo Colon. Dan Kolb. Miguel Asencio. Bryan Corey. Lee Gronkiewicz. And the pitcher who publicly dissed his PawSox teammates, Clay Buchholz. DEAD TO ME.

2. Oh, hey, it was in fact former PawSox great Jason Lane who Masterson hhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifit with a pitch on may 29th, 2008 v the SWB Yankees. I FUCKING LOOKED IT UP!!! Also, Jason Lane is still playing: In 2011, he was working for the BJ's triple-A team in Las Vegas and maybe turning himself into a pitcher. There you have it.

Added bonus: In case it wasn't 100 percent clear that David Laurila completely dominates with player profiles and interviews, please read this thing with Masterson. Laurila gets up and nothing gets him down.

Justin Masterson's mural is smack in the middle of the third base tower. No word yet on the future placement of his bandmate Javier Lopez.

They were probably defending their state's reputation.

2011-12-06T15:32:00.004-05:00

Tonight! I will be making an appearance in Connecticut as I play bingo for the first time.

No, I mean, I have played bingo before. But this is, like, $$$$BINGO$$$$ SPANISH WEEKS IN MY DISCO CASINO BINGO!!!

Used to be I only went to CT for Defenders games and lord how I took it for granted. How was I to know they'd go on to win a World Series with people like Cody Ross and Edgar Renteria?

Guys I probably watched include Sergio Romo, Madison Bumgarner, Pablo Sandoval... I know I saw Knoedler and Ishakawa...

I wonder whatever happened to the weird cheerleaders. That was, like, their whole life. They even made little dolls with matching outfits. Good for them, though. They probably had more fun than anybody, including me.

ANDREW MILLER IS BACK!!!!

Ramp Champ #42: Steve Lyons

2011-12-06T13:26:00.002-05:00

Steve Lyons is an outfielder, shortstop, third baseman, pitcher, catcher, second baseman, and first baseman who played for Pawtucket in 1984, 1992 and 1993.

In 1984, Lyons played in 131 games, mostly at third base. He hit 17 home runs, placing him in fifth place in the International League. Lyons was seventh in the league for stolen bases, with 35 for the season. He was 24 years old.

In 1992, at age 32, Lyons played in 37 games for the PawSox. He effectively split his time between third base and the outfield. Through 144 plate appearances, Lyons struck out 18 times and walked only eight times.

In 1993, Lyons played in 67 Pawtucket games, mostly in the outfield. However, Lyons pitched in two games, played catcher in one game, and played every infield position except shortstop. He hit four home runs and struck out 50 times.

As a relief pitcher that year, Lyons racked up four strikeouts through two innings of work. He also gave up a home run and walked a pair.

Two things:
1. Steve Lyons hit a home run in game 5 of the Governor's Cup finals to take the win over the Maine Guides.
2. The Red Sox signed Steve Lyons to a Triple-A contract on Thursday, making ``Psycho`` the first player in the history of the organization to be discarded three times and brought back. He was with the Red Sox in 1985 and `86 until he was traded to the White Sox for Tom Seaver. He returned in `91 and was released and was brought back again last season and not re-signed.
``Some people may not like him,`` said Boston General Manager Lou Gorman, ``but I do. He`s a versatile player who will give us depth at Pawtucket and may be able to help out here down the line.`` (Sun Sentinal May 1993)

Steve Lyons mural is in the middle portion of the third base tower.

Baby Chris Carter understands your suffering.

2011-12-06T12:54:00.002-05:00

"I used to be kinda dorky in high school. Then I got all ripped and stopped having to date girls who stood up for themselves."

Tonight I am breaking all of the rules.

2011-12-02T22:13:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow at, say, noon, the Pawtucket Sox will be hosting a somber luncheon to reflect upon Our Father's bounty. Presiding over the event will be former Red Sox batter Niuman Romero.

Don't I wish! Before I get truck-smashed by Travis Denker, I'll tell you the true story. Clinically, with no cheer. It's the Christmas Party at McCoy Stadium and it starts at eleven and lasts until two. There's some free food, too, which is always a big hit. Maybe the biggest.

Brandon Duckworth will be there. Nate Spears will be there. Santa Paws will be there.

This guy will be there. Does anyone watch that? That has been on forever. It's certainly no 'Steve and Joe Show.'

Mike Tamburro will be there! And some guys with walkie-talkies!

I can't make it. What's more, I'm wondering if any time I go anywhere, I should refer to it as 'making an appearance.'

As in, Jen from Baseball Heavy will be making an appearance at the laundromat from 4:30-7:00 pm!

You guys have fun tomorrow. Tell Nate Spears I said... Dylan Axelrod.

Ryan Kalish has arms that long to hold you.

2011-12-01T14:25:00.002-05:00

During these gray holiday doldrums, do you ever find yourself wondering what Ryan Kalish has been up to? Or do you long to re-connect with his sparkle, his charisma, his fascinating ways?

M-E-T-H-O-D-O-F-L-O-V-E! That's what I say!

1. Wait, Kalish hit a grand slam off Jered Weaver? How do I not remember this?

2. Chili Davis understood what Kalish was going through, because he was a spokesman for struggling bats and a sensitive lover.

3. "At this point honestly, I can’t really tell that anything was done to my neck," said Kalish via phone from San Francisco, where the Red Sox outfield prospect is conducting his rehab. "You have post-surgery pain and all that, but that’s totally gone. It just feels like a normal neck." Brendan McGair talked to a rehabbing Ryan Kalish and it was sadly overlooked. McGair also did a thing about suicides of the American Indian and nobody cared. Nobody shhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifowed.

4. It just feels like a normal neck!

5. Derek Stykalo says either Kalish or Nate Spears will probably play right field for Boston in 2012. What, not Josh Reddick? No, because Reddick is pink in the middle.

6. It is criminal that I have never come across the 'Seedlings to Stars' blog. At any rate, Wally Fish and Nathanial Something get down into it w/r/t Kalish playing right. Also contains this killer quote: "Spears is basically a slightly lesser version of Tug Hulett." HA!

7. Ryan Kalish is Jewish and married and has a girlfriend and Ryan Kalish is naked when he takes hot showers. Ryan Kalish sucks, too.

8. Whore presents will help get you in touch with Kalish.

So, in summation, let me say this: The best-case unfolding for Kalish would be a plain Spring Training which convinces a Red Sox to have him partial of a crew incident in right field. Considering all a time Kalish longed for final year, we consider it competence be awaiting a small as good most to have him a full-time right fielder. Look for Boston to take a prolific right-handed bat, maybe a single who would element good with possibly Kalish or Josh Reddick.

He has huge bent as good as intensity to be a long-term resolution in right field. Even if it takes him a month or dual to get going, they would not remove most prolongation when compared to final season.

Or something like that. God, I'm bored.

Uncharted Desert IL

2011-12-01T14:10:00.002-05:00

This goes out to the William Bergollas of the world. William Bergolla, someone in Rhode Island still loves you.

Pat Misch! Misch blew through McCoy Stadium many times, since he was on the Bisons for like ten years. Love those Bisons! Misch was just signed to a minor league contract by the Phillies, so he'll return as an IronPig. He probably knows more about Pawtucket than Dusty Brown ever did.

Scott Mathieson! Speaking of Pigs... Yeah, Philadelphia released his ass.

More Phillies stuff: They signed former Bison Scott Elarton. Remember when the Bisons were part of the Cleveland franchise? And Cliff Lee pitched for them at McCoy Stadium? Oh my god, you are so jealous because I was there and I have pics SO IT DID IN FACT HAPPEN.

Do you know what a Toledo Bush Blow is? No, it is not a dirty sex euphemism. I am possibly the foremost authority on the TBB. My point is, former White Sox-ish OF Jerad Head is now a Mud Hen!

!

And back with the Buffaloney! Nick Evans, first baseman and corner outfielder, will leave the Bisons but return with the Indians. Indy, not Cleveland. THESE INDIANS ARE PIRATES.

Can you believe Joe Nathan is on the Rangers now? What happened to Neftali Feliz?

His name happens to be 'Brett'.

2011-12-01T12:57:00.002-05:00

"Whoopi, in 2012, is Bobby Valentine going to manage the Boston Red Sox OR appear on Hollywood Squares?"

"JOUDAN DESHOU?!"

Happy Thanksgiving, Steve Hyder.

2011-11-24T13:43:00.002-05:00

Recently I checked in on Hyder's PawSox blog. The Thanksgiving post inspired me! I am going to rip off... Wait, use? Steal? I think the word I'm looking for is 'plagiarize'.

Let's talk to it!

1. "I’m thankful that Jacoby Ellsbury finished second in the A.L. MVP voting. Well deserved." Sure.

2. "I’m thankful that it is still 3 months before pitchers and catchers report to Fort Myers for Spring Training." I suppose when baseball is your job and you work like every day, you need this time off. I'm talking about myself.

3. "I’m thankful that the fiasco that was the September of 2011 is fading into the sunset." Hyder is referring to PitcherGate. Which was one of the most pointless and stupid stories in a long time. You know what else I'm glad to see fade into the sunset? MOCKINGBIRDS.

4. "I am thankful for the Theo Epstein/Terry Francona years." Word to that! Sure, I faded out toward the end, but Theo was the guy responsible for Mike Remlinger and JT Snow!

5. "I’m thankful for the Jonathan Papelbon era in Boston." Rhode Island Day, 2005.

6. "I am thankful for the New England Patriots." Football is boring.

7. "I am thankful that there are three NFL games on Turkey Day." (ibid.)

8. "I am thankful for the 2011 season we enjoyed with the PawSox." Rich Hill and Ryan Kalish, gone too soon. Good season, though, except for JC Linares' injury.

9. "Last but not least, I am thankful for my family and friends." No one in my family ever reads this, so they can go to heck.

You know, this all seemed more exciting when I thought of it last night.

Tommy Hottovy and Drew Sutton are gone. Sutton sure could hit some doubles. I am thankful for that.

Carl Pavano probably smokes his own meat.

2011-11-22T14:39:00.003-05:00

Hi!

Back from some time in NH/VT. I attended the Granite State Baseball Dinner, where no one could say enough about what an exemplary human being Chris Carpenter is. He came all the way from his vacation to attend the function, because he's so fucking awesome.

Yes, that was the kind of thing I had to listen to. I didn't barf at the time, but saved it for the early morning hours. Must have been all the tonic I drank.

Some people at my table were friends with Bernie Carbo and he kept swinging by to chat. He is practically a minister at this point, possibly by way of twelve-stepping. In case anyone out there still gives a shit about Bernie Carbo. I much prefer Kenny Rogers.

I had an autograph assignment and my target was Jarrod Saltalamacchia. He wore glasses and fine men's cufflinks. I should have asked him if he did his laundry at the ballpark. His handler would probably just have tapped the sign.

During post-prandial conversation at the hotel bar, I learned that Pirates pitcher Jeff Locke is stressed out and losing weight. There is something wrong with him. So if you're a Locke fan, prepare for that. I wasn't eavesdropping... Someone told me, all over my FACE!

Here comes the Carl Pavano part! So I guess Carl Pavano lives in Vermont. Like my mom! At any rate, I stopped at a general store for like, maple syrup or cider or cheese or whatever. Fucking country shortbread or whatever, you know, it's fucking Vermont. And since I was wearing my fly Twins jacket, the dude at the deli was all, YEAH TWINS KIRBY PUCKETT!!!!

The deli master then revealed that Carl Pavano shops there, buys shotgun shells and junk. Because he's all rugged and not some fussy fancy-pants like Brad Radke or Eddie Guardado. "Wouldn't it be cool if he came in while you were here? He could sign your jacket!"

Yeah, maybe. I doubt I would have recognized him because, hello, I'm in Hillbilly Junction, Vermont. I certainly don't expect a former World Champion Marlins starter to walk in and buy like deer jerky. Later on I looked at pictures of Pavano and I don't know, is he hot? Because he looks kinda hot and I thought he was a mullion. Also, I left that store smelling like smoked moose hooves.

Oh, PS, the Vermont flood damage is no joke, folks. I was in a hard-hit area and I was shocked at the wreckage. Carl Pavano helped out and maybe I should, too. I don't want to be outdone by someone like that.

I'm back from vacation so I will start posting in earnest. Thanks for sticking around.

You're so unsatisfied.

2011-11-09T12:27:00.002-05:00

Even though I blabbed this all over the place, in case you didn't hear I wrote a guest column for Baseball Prospectus. I am not making this up.

Most of the other columns are like, MIT professors and physics majors and wicked smart people. So I don't know, maybe they're diversifying. I thought it was weird, but I guess they know what they're doing.

I could have done better. Too bad, because when you have only one shot... One opportunity... Well, I guess you have to just wait until the last minute and churn out a bunch of vanilla soft serve.

Well, back to watching reruns and pigging out on burritos!

2004 World Champion Boston Red Sox... And the rest.

2011-10-29T14:38:00.002-04:00

We all remember the big boys on that team, like Schilling and Varitek and Derek Lowe and Ortiz and the raw sex appeal of guys like Dave Roberts and Doug Mientkiewicz.

But a lot of guys got a ring that year that maybe aren't household names. Not even in their own households, where they sip endless cups of tea and blend in with the drapes. Who are these forgotten warriors and where are they now?

1. Sandy Martinez, A Catcher - Sounds like a delicious beach cocktail, but Martinez was originally a Blue Jays guy who winnowed his way through backup-catcherdom and was snapped up from the Indians in August of 2004. He played in three games with Boston and did not reach base once. The Red Sox were the last big league team Martinez played for, and he retired in 2007.

2. Brian Daubach, A Remainder - Included because Daubach evidently played in 30 games. Was probably mostly in Pawtucket but he's got a kind of muddy timeline. He's gone! He's back! He's in the minors! He's drunken!

Also, Daubach went from a player we all loved to... I don't know, but he hit a wall. Yes, I am aware that he's a minor league manager and probably doing well for himself. But he looks like hammered shit.

3. Cesar Crespo, A Ute - CESAR CRESPO PLAYED IN 52 GAMES. Did you realize that? He also never walked. Not even once. His batting average is exactly the same as his OBP. Definitely a Pawtucket kid. His last Boston appearance was July of '04 and he never played in the majors again. Retired.

Oh, by the way, Crespo was previously on the same Padres team as his brother, Felipe, and they both homered in the same game. They are probably no longer on speaking terms.

4. Ricky Gutierrez, An Encouraging Ernie - No one exemplifies the role of 'Guy Who Never Played But Was Top-Stepping the Entire Time' like Mister Gutierrez does. Seriously, go back and watch the games and he's always there in his little hat, slapping everyone on the back. You might think he was merely Ortiz's personal valet, but in fact he played in 20 games, mostly at second. In case both Bellhorn and Reese had bad sushi?

After Boston, RG never played in the majors again. He is, of course, retired.

5. Andy Dominique, A Doughboy - Porky catcher from Pawtucket who played in seven games. You may remember the fans chanting his name during a game, but you probably don't remember what for. I sure as hell don't. Domninique got a couple of hits and and an RBI, so there's his contribution.

Dominique played in a couple of games for Toronto in 2005, but that was THE END for his career. He's a softball coach in Reno now, and here's a current photo that will make you feel like Oldy Olsen.

6. Earl Snyder, A Tweener - Snyder was crushing it in Pawtucket in '04, setting home run and RBI records all over your face! Snyder played in exactly one game for Boston in August, getting a hit but also striking out and grounding into a double play. Keep that ring nice and polished, Snyder.

In a related story, Earl Snyder's Dead Ringer has a blog, which hasn't been updated since 2005. However, its value as a time capsule of emotion cannot be overstated. Kenny Rogers assaulting a cameraman?! Crazy!

7. Jimmy Anderson, A Lefty Reliever - Pitched six innings through five games. Spent most of his early career as a Pirate and has the garage full of contraband stereo speakers to prove it. Boston traded Andrew Shipman to the Cubs for Anderson's services. He never gave up a home run. He also never played in the majors after Red Sox '04. Why would he? I would think there'd be nothing left to achieve in life.

I wish I could remember him. I looked at a couple of pictures but nothing sparked. RETIRED.

8. Terry Adams, An Arm - He was a righty reliever. His frighteningly broad moon-pie face is what I have kept with me through the years. Pitched in 19 games. Came to us from the Blue Jays in exchange for John Hattig, the Guamiest guy who ever played at McCoy Stadium. Last seen on the Phillies in 2005... Or on the Indianapolis Indians in 2006, like that counts. Oh, and his rookie card is a disaster. Retired.

9. Mark Malaska, A Quitter - Malaska retired very hastily. Nothing more to add except that in this picture he looks like your Aunt Shirley. Turn off all your lights before checking out the photo for the full creepy, funhouse effect.

10. Anastacio Martinez, A Casualty - Pitched in 11 games. Possibly "best" "remembered" for being traded to Pittsburgh with Brandon Lyon for Mike Gonzalez and Scott Sauercrap in 2003. And then the Pirates were all, like, "Hey! Brandon Lyon's elbow is frayed like Chinese blue jeans! Can I speak to your manager, please?"

So Lyon came back, Martinez came back, Suppan was sandwiched between them (Awwww, yeaaaah!), and Pittsburgh got Mike Gonzalez back. Plus the Marvelous Freddy Sanchez. I could write a book. Or make a documentary. I would pay to see that. I would pay to watch my own documentary. That's how much I love painful and degrading trade stories.

Retired, but played indie ball in 2010 for Calgary. Good for him!

11. Pedro Astacio, A Has-Been - Astacio racked up a 10.38 ERA through five Boston games. Last played in the Nationals org in 2006. How many years can a player call himself a 'free agent' before admitting to himself and the world that no one wants his ass?

Did you know that Astacio made $7,000,000 playing for the Mets in 2003? Typical Mets story: He pitched like 36 innings and had a 7.36 ERA. It never ends. RETIRED.

12. Jamie Brown, A Gaijin - Pitched a few relief innings in May of 2004. Split for japan after that, worked overseas for a few seasons. And now no one can find him, because his name is Jamie Brown.

13. Phil Seibel, A Mack - Insurance Agent to the Pro's. I think that says it all.

TONIGHT! Buffalo Bisons featuring Dillon Gee!

Sorry, habit.

5.22.2011 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Toledo Mud Hens - Lucky

2011-10-12T13:52:00.002-04:00

Pawtucket WINS! 2-1. Another game I didn't do because I was on vacation in Toledo. And it was Lucky's birthday!

Starting tart was Tony Pena Jr, who was really, really smelling good. He looked good, too: Pena pitched six shut out innings, with four strikeouts and a walk. And four hits, yeah, four hits and none for extra bases YEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!! See that? I just got worked up over Tony Pena Jr.

Oppo guy was lefty Ramon Garcia. Garcia could not get that last out in the fifth inning. Hey, what happened? Well, Tony Thomas led off with a double. Garcia struck out former Mud Hen and current question mark Brent Dlugach. Matt Sheely popped out in foul territory. Two outs and Thomas is hanging out at second, waiting for his chance. Tony Thomas is an old soul.

Ronald Bermudez was the next batter, and good old Ronny doubled, bringing Thomas around to score. Thomas was later quoted as saying, "Come on, Ronny, mellow off! You're really bringing me over, man!" 1-0 Pawsox!

And so it was that Garcia was replaced by Australian reliever Fu-Te Ni. Ni finished off the fifth inning by first hitting Che-Hsuan Lin with a pitch and then getting Iggy Iglesias to ground out. Ta-da!

The Red Sox scored again in the seventh inning, when Tony Thomas homered off reliever/sprocket jockey Matt Hoffman. No one was on base.

Dennis Neuman! Neuman took over for Pena, allowed Toledo to score a run. This was mostly thanks to the Viking at first base, Ryan Strieby. I don't know, look it up. Someone hit a ground ball, okay?

That's all for today. I have to buy a car and the research is killing me.

Baby Lars Anderson agrees with you.

2011-10-09T00:13:00.002-04:00

"Pitchers, man. Think they're such hot shit."

Matt Sheely Aggregate

2011-10-06T10:34:00.002-04:00

Matt Jovon Sheely is a 25-year-old Floridian who played for the Pawtucket Red Sox in 2007 (two games), 2010 and 2011. U could neva b like him. And I'm pretty sure he has a girlfriend.

Here's his Clay Davenport batting card.

1. Matt Sheely went to Seminole State College. In 2006, while he was a freshman, Boston drafted him (48th round) and sent him to XST. "Sheely's season was highlighted by a 5-for-5, three runs scored, two RBIs, two stolen bases performance versus Monroe on Mar. 24. He was named First Team All Mid-Florida Conference by the conference coaches."

2. Also, third game of the season in Sheely's freshman year, he was hit in the FAYCE by a pitch. Sheely missed nine games thanks to the injury. The man who threw the pitch? CRAIG HANSEN.

3. The majority of Sheely's organizational games were played with Portland.

4. From "A Believer" : "24 year old outfielder. Who spent most of his season with
Double A Portland but played 7 games with Triple A Pawtucket. Batting (.238)
(.222). Below Average batter, doesn’t have a lot of hits. Once he gets on
base, threat, above average speed. Can play all outfield positions
successfully with good range. Not a strong batter. Hits better with people
on base."

5. This woman has several candid shots of Matt Sheely. They are from a couple of years ago and feature other future PawSox members like Kalish and Doubront.

6. Tough love from Marisa Ingemi: "In Portland he did nothing and he cannot be expected to do more at a higher level. I question why Alex Hassan was not recalled instead. He is the better prospect and will get more out this promotion than the non-prospect Sheely. A weak hitting outfielder with little skills, he won’t be around for long."

7. "I got see this kid Matt Sheely put on quite the show. He hit his second professional home run in the game — his first one came the night before — and he had driven in 15 RBIs in just 60 at bats." Sheely had some early success in Greenville.

8. From 2006: "Matt was a Draft and Follow signing this year, and had a decent debut season. Sheely hit .292/.361/.358 with 12 walks and a team high 3 triples."

9. Matt Sheely also played in 'Porltand'.

10. Daisuke Matsuzaka appreciated Sheely's fielding efforts. Also: Kuddos.

11. Look at these good pictures.

12. Fragile Freddy : "One thing I saw that was interesting was when Chris Balcom-Miller hit Matt Sheely with a pitch. While an apology would not be issued during a game I figured “hey, teammates during BP, he will apologize” but nope. Balcom-Miller simply grabbed another ball and got back on the rubber."

13. Dan Hoard with some Matt Sheely slice of life.

14. Matt Sheely's voice cracks sometimes when he talks about the kids. One day he helped some youngsters master bunting. Uh huh huh huh.

I gotta stop because I keep this: http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif. Thanks, I certainly love removing that junk after all my links.

I don't feel like I've learned anything about Matt Sheely.

The Durham Bulls are ruining this here great country.

2011-09-29T15:40:00.003-04:00

I still love you, Carl Crawford.

I don't know what else to say. That was crazy. Can't wait to hear a slew of conspiracy theories. CRAZY.

I also wonder how I went from a ravenous, emotional Red Sox fan to someone who wanted Tampa to win. I can't even think of how it all started. I just lost interest. And I was someone who emptied out bank accounts for Fenway tickets. Would approach innocent strangers with player t-shirts on to talk Red Sox. Read all the message boards and blogs daily. Watched all the games on TV, even the ones I'd just returned home from. It just consumed my thoughts and actions. It was sick, I tell you!

In an unrelated story, why is everyone ripping on Lackey for being less than handsome? As if Beckett, Lester, and Buchholz are all so great-looking? As Chief Wiggum would say...

Tonight I will go see Moneyball and dream of playoff baseball. I love the World Series.

5.21.2011 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Toledo Mud Hens - You Are Here

2011-09-29T13:24:00.002-04:00

Mud Hens win, 5-4. I was at this game! It was rainy! I had good seats, though, thanks to a sweet hookup from Mud Hens Nancy. Yeah, I was in Toledo. YEAH I WAS IN TOLEDO.

Matt Fox, All-Star, started for the Pawtucket "Red" Sox. Fox ran deep into the seventh, shutting out Toledo until it was time for sweet relief. Fox left with a little skip in his step because Pawtucket was up 4-0 at that point.

Righty Thad Weber started for Toledo. The Red Sox scored their first run off Weber in the fourth inning, by way of a solo home run by Josh Reddick. That kid was raking in Pawtucket before he headed for Boston, I'm saying. Not Lavarnway-level, but let's just say he tied Anderson and Luna's 14 home runs in like half the games those guys played. It's weird, Reddick just looks skinny and raggedy-redneck to me. And Lavarnway's all big and hulking and strong. Like Jim Thome. But then, does Ryan Braun look especially beastly? I'm just talking, I don't know.

Everything was quiet up until the top of the seventh. Weber still pitching, probably should have not returned to the hill. Former Mud Hen Brent Dlugach led off with a single. No, a double, sorry. I'm sorry, Brent. Tony Thomas and Blind Luis Exposito followed that shit up with back-to-back singles, scoring Dlugach. This may have made Weber sweat a little, because when Jose Iglesias stepped up and bunted, Weber made a throwing error. Probably he was too hasty? Anyway, the bases were loaded and no outs and maybe Phil Nevin should have intervened.

So who batted next with BLNO? Matt Sheely! HAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHASTOP LAUGHING! And, you know, maybe even I could have gotten Sheely to pop out infieldish at that point. So of course Weber hits him with a pitch to bring Tony Thomas home. And who wouldn't want to bring Tony Thomas home, am I right, Ladies?

At last, Weber was surgically removed from the pitcher's mound. Right-handed Venezuelan Jose Ortega took over. Che-Hsuan Lin hit a sac fly to center, scoring Exposito. 4-0!

Bottom of the eighth, Pawtucket made a mess o' defensive changes and Tommy Hottovy was out there, doing good work in his way. Hottovy got a couple of outs and Arnie rolled out Michael Bowden. Bowden faced down rich bitch Cale Iorg, who ain't scareda nuthin' and launched one to left. Outta here!

Bowden got Omir Santos to fly out, but there was failure on the horizon. In the ninth inning, Bowden walked Will Rhymes and Danny Worth. Like, before he did anything else, such as get an out. I'm sure his immediate response was to fix his pants, because Bowden's an OCD pants-adjuster. Bowden got Timo Perez and Ryan Strieby to fly out. Breathe now, but then gasp, because remember how big Scott
Thorman is? He's like a Canadian Jim Thome! Thorman hit a home run. Tie game.

Extra innings, Blake Maxwell, Ryan Strieby is the same guy as Lars Anderson and hit the game-winning single in the eleventh. What did I do after this game? Probably nothing.

what does any of this have to do with Dusty Brown:
1. Brent Dlugach struck out four times in this game. That'll show 'em.
2. Isn't Blake Maxwell essentially Beau Vaughan? Can we do some sort of DNA test?
3. "Pawtucket starter Matt Fox has rolled through five scoreless innings, allowing just three singles and no walks. He also has not struck out a batter but has thrown only 63 pitches, 41 of which were strikes. His fastball sat at 91-92 mph (seven at 91 mph, two at 92), with his change-up at 86-88 mph (one at each of those three speeds) and his breaking ball at 76-77 mph. There have not been many good swings against him, mostly because he has gotten ahead of most of the Toledo hitters (10-of-17 through five innings)." - Mud Hens Blog
4. "To get the chance to play professionally and have a chance to play in the big leagues is a once in a lifetime opportunity." - Wow, gripping stuff, Thad Weber.

As for me, this was the first IL vacation that I intentionally booked the player hotel. Sure enough, as I was checking in, I saw Kyle Weiland and Jose Iglesias wandering around. The hotel was right up against the ballpark, too, and in the morning I could look onto the field and see the players wearing ballgowns and having sex with each other on the field.

Other than that it was kind of a wack hotel. Cirque du Soleil was there, also, and those people can fucking drink. Saw them at the hotel bar, just kicking it and shooting pool. The hotel bar was seriously weak... Good thing we were only there for a nightcap. Good thing I usually don't wear them.

5.19.2011 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Columbus Clippers - The Dube

2011-09-27T15:00:00.002-04:00

Red Sox WIN! 5-2. In Ohio, home of people! Places! Things! Akron!

Starting pitcher for Pawtucket was Brandon Duckworth, who played for the IronPigs last season. They probably liked him, I don't know, he was 5-4 with a 3.32 ERA at the time. The IronPigs have a terrific, enthusiastic fan base that intrigues me so much that I am considering a trip to Allentown, PA next year. As if my co-workers aren't baffled enough by my fabulous trips to Toledo and Norfolk, VA.

"WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO TO ORLANDO LIKE EVERYONE ELSE?" I went there already. Got it? Also, I'm too scared to.

Duckworth, who had a great first half but a lesser second, pitched a paltry three innings. Duckworth gave up two runs, which were both solo home runs by Jason Kipnis and Cord Phelps. You don't meet too many 'Cords' in Rhode Island. Not a lot of 'Wades' running around, either.

Mitch Talbot started for the Clippers. Talbot's been kicking around in the IL since 2007, so he is a person in my neighborhood. Talbot pitched four innings and gave up only one run. It was a solo blast by Josh Reddick. This should make me feel kind of bad, because I didn't have much nice to say about this kid. Instead I will only say that he had some pop. It must be noted, too, that all these solo home runs came in the first inning. Run along and look up the record for most solo home runs in the first inning.

In the top of the fifth inning, with the score at 2-1 Columbus, Jensen Lewis dashed out to the mound. Lewis got Exposito out, but gave up a triple to Matt Sheely. But then something weird happened: Jose Iglesias came in to pinch hit for Daniel Nava. Was Nava injured?

Okay, I looked it up and here is the skinny from soxprospects.com: "From the "Something You Don't See Everyday" department, the game's suspension and continuation combined with the organization's recent roster moves created some unorthodox lineup shuffling from PawSox manager Arnie Beyeler. Daniel Nava had started the game as the designated hitter, but because he was designated for assignment on Friday, needed to be replaced in the lineup. The player who took his place was Jose Iglesias, who was in Boston when the game began, but was optioned back to Pawtucket before it resumed." Those guys at Sox Prospects are so damn smart! And somewhat humorless, but baseball is a very serious sport and all discussions regarding its angles and outcomes should be sober and rational.

Jose Iglesias, who's on Twitter and absolutely, truly, personally composes his tweets (Hell, no, he doesn't) grounded to second, scoring Sheely. Tie game!

Clevelan Santeliz was pitching in the bottom of the fifth and did not allow a Clippers run. Jensen Lewis returned to pitch the top of the sixth. Anderson led off with a single and the wonderful Ronald Bermudez doubled him in. 3-2 Red Sox! Bermudez scored later in the inning when Luis Exposito singled to center. 4-2.

Wasn't the final score 5-2? Yeah. Nick Hagadone pitched the ninth and Dlugach and Exposito both singled. Dlugach scored on a groundout. Jason Rice closed out the game, getting everyone out and being cool.

Mita Shah crafts ice cream based on favorite recipes from India:
1. Cool story on Bermudez here, but it's in Spanish. His nickname is "El Vasallo" which I had to look up and I am still unclear.
2. Looks like Clevelan Santeliz is in Venezuela with Robert Coello.
3. Good job, Columbus Clippers, winning the Governor's Cup. I guess now the Indians are gong to start kicking ass!

TONIGHT! Hellickson v Colon! I have seen both at McCoy Stadium, which is weird. Colon had a posse waiting for him in the parking lot, sitting on a tricked-out whip and bumping bass lines. Never seen anything like it. Not even Keith Foulke's two girlfriends could top that.

YEAH BASEBALL POST-SEASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

soon

2011-09-26T10:12:00.002-04:00

Sports, hooray!

Yesterday I went to New Hampshire for auto racing. It is a 6am to 9pm all-day thing.

It's really not much like baseball. I had a good time, though. Believe me when I tell you I do not go ironically, or to laugh at everyone and feel superior, or deride the fans. I am just as gross as anyone else there, and so are you, you smug asshole.

But, see, that's not 100 percent true. My friend made a "NASCAR bingo" which included squares like "slutty preggo" and "Confederate flag". But I think anyone could do the same at Fenway Park. Except the squares might be "clueless preppy asshole" and "SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND SHUT UP FOR FIVE FUCKING MINUTES".

Just like you I am always re-evaluating my place in the world. Except maybe you don't do it on a blog that is supposed to be all sports, all day.

I just have to try harder, is all.

MAKE SURE YOU CHECK TRANSACTIONS

2011-09-21T15:51:00.002-04:00

I am about to get introspective, which is one of my worst habits. I even wrote on my computer monitor "NO EMO!" to try and discourage myself from getting all, um, emo. I also wrote my checking account routing number, which comes in handy when paying bills.

You know the song 'Unchained' by Van Halen. Of course, it's a great song. I happen to love it and it is the perfect song that won't ever be played loudly enough on your car stereo unless you get a custom install and who can afford that? It's interesting, lyrically, the way the chorus flips "change" and "unchained" so they're kind of similar-sounding in an almost confusing way. The song could just as easily been called 'Change'. Right? Ain't nothing stays the same.

My point is this: I'm wondering if I should just chuck everything and do it all differently. You know, try and turn myself into some kind of media mogul. Self-promote. Slick it up a little.

Wait... No, I really don't want to do that. I like everything the way it is. Mostly. I'm not going to sell myself out for anything!

But that's kind of stupid because I've been doing this for six years with nothing to show for it but Blogger's Ass and a keyboard full of bagel crumbs.

NOT TRUE! I have six archived years of excellence. True, sometimes I read old posts and I don't always remember what the hell I was talking about. I have had to put some really odd non sequiturs into search engines (it's usually some forgotten song lyric.) And, yes, I am still really stupid about baseball.

But what if I just made some cool stickers and put them on telephone poles and toll booths and phone booths and transformers and school books and log cabins? Because the 90's are long over, is why. What am I, Shed?

I think mostly I am just surprised that I am not world famous. I have way too much swagger for someone of my low social standing. And I love all of this. Ask anyone, it's all I talk about.

Wait, you know what? I don't wanna be famous! Then you have to talk to people all the time... Answer questions... God, who wants to do that? I deal with enough of that shit at work. People piss me off. Except when I love them, which is really almost always.

Yeah, I think I'm not going to change anything.

Rank these Van Halen songs:

1. And the Cradle Will Rock
2. Everybody Wants Some
3. Panama
4. Unchained

May 18th, 2011 : Pawtucket and Columbus Double-Header in Ohio

2011-09-21T13:15:00.002-04:00

Game One: Pawtucket WINS! 7-2. Okay, this may have been Game 2 for all I know. I don't care and neither do you and probably neither does Kyle Weiland, who has bigger fish to fry these days.

Weiland was the starting pitcher and went 5 out of seven innings. Guess who pitched the last two? Dan Wheeler! Dan Wheeler was unpacked from a heavily-stickered steamer trunk, wearing a seersucker suit and a bowler.

But Weiland... Kyle only gave up one run on three hits. And it was in the first inning. Weiland walked a guy in the fifth, but was otherwise cool with a groundout and a couple of strikeouts. His pitch count was way up to, like, 74, so it makes perfect sense that his night was over.

Starting pisser for the Clippers was Jeanmar Gomez, Venezuelan righty. Gomez was just blazing through dudes like Reddick and Exposito, but everything got bollixed up for him in the fifth. Matt Sheely, one of the greats, landed on first after he bunted with panache. Sheely advanced to third on an error. God, I miss that kid.

And so then with two outs in the bottom of the fifth, Gomez walked Tony Thomas. Oh, yeah, I also really liked Tony Thomas. Josh Reddick, gone and sort of forgotten (he is not 100 percent smooth in the Fenway outfield, I can see that now), hit a line drive single to right, scoring Matt Sheely. Tie game!

First baseman Lars Anderson batted after Reddick. They secretly hate each other, have you heard? Did you read that thing about the ghetto children? Anderson hit a home run, which was his... Oh my god, first home run of the season for the first baseman who really cannot play any other position!!!!! 4-1 Pawtucket!

Sixth inning, new pitchers, Carlton Smith for the Columbus Clippers. Brent Dlugach and Luis Exposito hit back-to-back singles to lead it off. Matt Sheely, tiny package of wonder, bunted yet again. I wish Matt Sheely was my son. And then Smith IBB'd Nava, which he really must have hated. Smith must have, that is.

And also maybe Nava, who likes to take hacks.

Tony Thomas hit a sac fly to score Dlugach, but Carlton Smith got Josh Reddick to fly out and end the inning.

Top of the seventh, game almost over, new pitcher Eric Berger for the Clippers. Anderson led off with a single to center... and Drew Sutton hit a home run! Get out! That Sutton, doing good things like a champ. 7-1 Red Sox.

One last thing: Dan Wheeler gave up a solo home run to right fielder Jerad Head. Final score 7-2.

TRY NOT TO THINK TOO MUCH:
1. Cord Phelps also hit a home run. It may have been majestic, but the world will never know.
2. Lonnie Chisenhall made two errors, but who's laughing now? Well, aside from audiences at screenings of 'I Don't Know How She Does It', probably Chisenhall himself. Because he's a Name Player now. Like Dooley Womack!

Not a whole lot of Matt Sheely stuff popping up in search engines. Sweeping disinterest, really. Maybe I'll buy a jersey.

I'll be back another time.

5.7.2011 Red Sox, Yankees, positive outcome.

2011-09-17T12:23:00.002-04:00

Pawtucket WINS! 7-6. This game was played this past May 7th but I never really covered it. Can't remember why, but now that the season's died I can go back and take care of business. Yes, I know that no one cares about a game that happened months ago, but I don't see you paying my bills so GET IN THAT KITCHEN AND RATTLE THEM POTS N PANS!

Starting pitcher for Pawtucket was Andrew Miller and his marvelous coiffure. Miller... Ugh, I just skimmed over the pitching for this game and just wait until later on. I have to relive this?

Miller pitched three innings, came out for the fourth and got one out. He faced Yankees catcher Gustavo Molina and walked him. Gustavo Molina was on the PawSox in 2010 and existed. I think Baby Mangino had a higher slugging percentage than Molina. At any rate, this crushing blow (and possibly crossing the magical minor league pitch threshold of 85) ended the evening for Miller. I'm sure he vowed revenge upon Gustavo Molina, who's really just trying to feed his family.

Enter Blake Maxwell. Yes. Maxwell gave up a single and a walk, but struck out Jorge Vazquez to end the inning. Good enough, Vazquez is a beast.

Okay, wait, what about Scranton? Their starter was righty Adam Warren. Warren worked hard for four innings, but Pawtucket hit the snot out of him and racked up four runs before he split the band.

So what happened? Scranton Wilkes-Barre struck first, bottom of the second, LF Jordan Parraz leads with a walk. Then second baseman Luis Nuñez sac bunted, but reached on a throwing error by A. Miller. And Gustavo Molina hit an RBI single. And Chris Dickerson reached on an error, which scored Nuñez. 2-0 SWB.

Fourth inning. With one out, catcher Mike McKenry singled and later scored when Nate Spears hit a home run. Tie game!

But not for long, sugar. In the fifth inning, Josh Reddick led off with a walk. Ah, Reddick! How terribly strange to be seventy! And then Luna... reaching on a force attempt... Still no outs. Adam Warren, all atremble, facing Anderson and walking him to load the bases for RELIEVER AMAURI SANIT!! Wait, I thought it was 'Amaury'? What am I, a paid sportswriter? Not one Pawtucket batter hit Sanit (THIS inning), but a groundout and a wild pitch put a pair of runs up for the Red Sox. Hell of a game. That green grass, sweet crack of the bat...

Sixth inning! Back-to-back singles by Iglesias and Nava put runners on with no outs for Sanit. Drew Sutton bunted, but the Yankees got lead runner Jose Iglesias out. But whatever, Josh Reddick hit a three-run homer. By the way, Josh Reddick is neither sexy nor hot... Unless you're into young rednecks? Oh, maybe you are, you dirty girl!

Bottom of the seventh, Pawtucket up 7-2. The loathsome, mucopurulent lefty Kris Johnson, who seriously sucks and I hate him. I hope I never read a story about him rescuing a kid from a raging river, because I love stoking the eternal flame of hatred. Johnson gave up two singles, a double, and a home run. And when was he released? Like one week after this. HA!

And this is just so, so typically Triple-A: Johnson came out for the eighth inning! Oh, hell yeah! Do you remember all those times Eric Gagne gave up three runs in a relief outing v the Yankees and Boston brought him back out for the next inning? NO! BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE INSANE!

Johnson only faced one guy, though, and Tony Pena came in. Tony Pena smells delicious, by the way. Johnson's runner, who in all fairness reached on an error, came around to score. Unearned, so Johnson must have been relieved to preserve his ERA at 9.33.

That's it? This game was three and a half hours long. 24 combined hits and five combined errors and nine combined walks tend to prolong things. Too bad JC Linares had already sustained an agonizing injury that ended his season by this point. I'm sure he could have been my Favourite.

two things:
1. No Che-Hsuan Lin!
2. Mike McKenry went 3-5 and Iglesias went 3-4. I never really knew McKenry and I probably never will.
3. "Maxwell can’t throw a strike. This game has been a hot mess. Neither team has gotten much out of the pitching staff so far today." - Donnie Collins brings the noise.
4. And Donnie Collins has some damn fine memories of that Lackawanna ballpark.

Oh, crap, I gotta go. Reminder: Going downtown to be a celebrity guest judge for a beard and mustache competition. See you there!

IronPigs defeat Clippers

2011-09-14T08:45:00.002-04:00

5-2. Brandon Moss hit a home run. I should buy an IronPigs hat or something.

The real reason I am here is that over on 'The Horn and Bell: Voice of the Noise Nation' blog, there is a wicked funny post about a road trip to Pawtucket to see Lehigh Valley play and eventually win. I strongly recommend reading it. I stumbled across it! It's a hidden gem! Exquisite! The manager is wonderful! /fake Yelp review

9.10.11 IronPigs: You Will Be Happy.

2011-09-11T07:42:00.004-04:00

3-1 Lehigh Valley IronPigs. And that is how you win a fucking ballgame. Just a ballsy, fabulous pitching performance by Brian T. Bass, who pitched a complete game and gave up one run. Bass threw 120 pitches to do it, but he did it. I genuinely have to give it up for the IronPigs, who kicked their life off with bad, bad losing but now here they are. Playoffs.

I admit to feeling somewhat hosed as a fan. I'm well aware of how gingerly the Boston org treats its players in the minors. Especially the pitchers. Pitch more than five or six innings? NOOOOO! Throw more than 90 pitches? NOOOO PROGRAM DERAILMENT!!! DEVELOPMENT!!! And I certainly don't expect Mets-Bisons style stuff, like regularly running their starters deep. But obviously the Phillies made an exception for this playoff game. THEY MADE AN EXCEPTION.

And why? Holy cow, look at their attendance. They lead all the minors! All classes! Number one! Can you imagine 2012 if they go all the way? That park is gonna be berserk. So Brian Bass, I hope you get some kind of bonus for your outing. I'll bet he gets some sort of gift from the front office. If not from them, then from me. I'm so impressed.

So what happened? Rich Thompson, very light-hitting outfielder, is a killer leadoff guy because he's smart. Thompson gets on base, steals, all of that. So when he singled in the first... and then stole second (Thompson leads the International League in stolen bases by a long shot with 48. Second place? 35. Yeah.) A couple of groundouts later and bing bang boom, run scores.

Second inning, former Indian/Padre/dude Josh Barfield hit a solo home run. 2-0. Rich Thompson struck again in the sixth, leading the inning off with a double and then scoring on some small-ball shit.

Pawtucket kinda sorta had their best chance in the ninth. Hector Luna led off with a single. Luna advanced to second on Kevin Frandsen's throwing error, then stole third. Will Middlebrooks flied out to center and Luna scored.

And then came Luis Exposito and Jose Iglesias. Exposito, stepping up after Middlebrooks. Bass has thrown how many pitches at this point? And what does Exposito do? He swings at the first pitch. What a jerk. Exposito swung his bat at the subsequent pitch and grounded out. Two down.

Iglesias was the last hope, but he flew out to center. Our hero, Rich Thompson, recording the last out. And then we all cried.

two things:
1. Nava and Anderson batted third and fourth, respectively. Neither got a hit.
2. Oh yeah, Alex Wilson pitched seven innings. 80 pitches. Trever Miller pitched the last two and he did a good job, not that it mattered.
3. "Lars Anderson came to bat in the home half of the first with a runner stationed at third. The first baseman ended up lofting a fly ball to left, a shot that in many instances would have been deep enough to score the run. Given there was two down, Anderson’s out was merely tacked on to the ugly RISP stat Pawtucket mustered in its short and not-so-sweet stay in the International League playoffs." - Cool story, Brendan McGair. McGair covers the Friars, right? So he'll still be around.
3. "I think they have one of the better staffs [in the IL], and the times we've been through here they've had some pretty good arms going out out there with [Kevin] Millwood, [Brandon] Duckworth pitched pretty well against us a couple of times, we had [Felix] Doubronot, and [Kevin] Whalen," said outfielder Rich Thompson. Kevin Whalen? Probably Kyle Weiland. (source)
4. "I told Rod [Nichols, the IronPigs' pitching coach] I won't come out," Bass said with a smile. "He said he'd give me three hitters -- I guess I needed four -- but that's all right. I got through it." - Jeff Schuler, Allentown.
5. "The IronPigs are dead-set on making PigsFly this postseason, something fans of the team since the franchise came to Allentown thought would never happen. Go Pigs!" - Amanda Getz, View From Section 116.
6. Freelance writer John Barone's take.
7. "The days of Mike Rouse, TJ Bohn, Ron Chiavacci and Dave Huppert are now gone and forgotten as Lehigh Valley have completed their sweep of Pawtucket to move onto the International League Championship Series against Columbus (Indians affiliate). The names replacing those above are Galvis, Bass, Moss and Ryne Sandberg, along with 21 others who have brought a brand new brand of baseball to the Lehigh Valley that includes aggressiveness ,attention to detail ,and fundamentals." - Phuture Phillies

And that's it. I will be out and about tonight if you'd like to commiserate.

9.9.2011 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Lehigh Valley IronPigs - Betray!

2011-09-10T07:08:00.004-04:00

IronPigs win, Pawtucket's fallen so far, the Phillies are champions, the Yankees suck, I like bread and butter. Yesterday I said that if the Red Sox lost, it'd all be over. I was wrong. Okay? I'll never correct anyone's spelling again.

Starting pitcher for Pawtucket was Tony Pena. Pena really went the distance in this playoff game, working hard for the team. ALMOST FIVE INNINGS. Once Pena hit that magic Boston minor league pitch count of 85, it was time to go beddy-bye. Oh, those back-to-back singles with two outs? You got this, right Okajima? Yes, Hideki Okajima came in for that last out in the fifth. What the fuck. Okajima went on to pitch another inning, setting the Pigs down in order.

Pena also allowed a couple of runs, and like such as. Brandon Moss, solo home run in the second. Brandon Moss, RBI double in the third. He's a real US American.

Ryan Edell, once a reliever, started for Lehigh Valley. Edell surpassed Pena's IP by one. Pawtucket only scored one run off Edell, that being an RBI double by Anderson in the first. The Red Sox were down 2-1 for the majority of the game, but in the eighth inning they tied it when Daniel Nava went deep, almost too deep, for a ground rule double. Che-Hsuan Lin scored from third to tie the game.

And so we go to extra innings. Justin De Fratus again, slayer of Pawtucket bats, taking care of those late inning. De Fratus struck out Lin, Sutton, and Iglesias in order in the top of the tenth. Really badass, you have to admit. Randy Williams, who'd entered the game in the ninth, was far less successful. Shortstop Freddy Galvis led off with a single, CF Rich Thompson sac bunted. Minus the 'sac' part, because Williams committed an error that allowed Thompson to stand on first and feel good about himself.

Scott Podsednik, former relevant big leaguer, attempted a sac bunt himself. It worked! Galvis and Thompson moved up a base, Podsednik walked back to the dugout to receive high-fives. Williams, facing exxxtreme power threat Kevin "Meat Mallet" Frandsen, was given orders to execute an intentional walk. To face Brandon Moss? Well, you guys would know. And of course Moss got a hit, scoring Galvis. The crowd, I presume, went nuts. I heard the fans on the radio, they were very excited. Good for them, I say, with no trace of wryness or superiority.

To sum up: Tony Pena was sleepy, Pawtucket left too many runners on, Randy Williams feels like he let the team down, Brandon Moss stabbed me in the back, Hector Luna was hitless again, Lavarnway should come back. In fact, Hector Luna came up twice with runners in scoring position and made the last out. Aw, Luna.

two things:
1. Perfect Allentown paper game story. Just one small typo, not even worth mentioning.
2. I looked it up. Allentown is five hours away by car. But you have to cross the GW Bridge which is usually FUBAR and you have to figure in rest area stops. But I'll bet it's cheap to stay there, right?
3. 'Phuture Phillies' spelled Phillippe Aumont incorrectly. Aumont pitched one inning, gave up a run.
4. "POG: Sox left 9 on base. BUT, I can tell you as someone who sihttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifts behind home plate, there were two runners who reached when they should have been rung up. Two others on bad plays, which Bush and Overbeck will tell you they should have made. Throw in Aumont giving two gift walks, Sox were lucky to just get those runners on." - commenter KGF on The Horn and Bell blog, regarding game one. 'Brandon Moss Hogg', ha.
5. I am not sure what this sports website's about. It's by high school kids? Eddie Pannone did a thing.
6. Danial Nava, Scott Podsednick, Freddy Galvais. I expect better.

I point out other peoples' mistakes to compensate for my own feelings of inadequacy.

Tonight at McCoy! Alex Wilson and his luscious rump will face... I know this... Brian Bass, yes. If the Red Sox lose I am going to drink my face off and write a strongly worded letter to Arnie Beyeler. Or they could win and then lose. HECTOR LUNA, COME BACK TO ME!

Search Term Sunday

2011-09-09T19:44:00.002-04:00

Because I have not done this in forever, and because I'm red hot!

1. "how do you spell routine" - Like that. You just did it You just spelled it, just now.

2. "cole hauser" - Mark Shapiro looks just like him.

3. "Pawtucket Red Sox>Lars Anderson" - Mathematically sound.

4. "Anyone have pics of Kelly Shoppach nude" - Of course I do. They're on my other blog, 'Nude PawSox Heavy'.

5. "George Kottaras naked" - There is someone out there, somewhere, who wants to see this. Why? WHY?

6. "Edgar the Peacef" - They didn't finish because it was a dark and stormy night and a shadowy figure crept up behind them with a Dillinger...

7. "bruce springsteen children" - I get this one a lot. Makes no sense.

And finally, a million "player X girlfriend" inquiries. I always wondered to myself what these people were looking for. Some massive database with that information? And then I wondered, what if there were some massive database? WHAT IF I CREATED THIS INTERNET DATABASE!?!?

So I came up with a brilliant domain name, bought it, and now I have to execute my vision.

Speaking of which, I also own 'PawSox Heavy' ... Just in case.

Steve Hyder was Sunday slummin'.

2011-09-09T13:43:00.002-04:00

I saw Steve Hyder walk into an establishment I was patronizing on Sunday. I was dying, I wanted to say 'hey' but he doesn't know who the hell I am. Probably not.

I thought Dan Hoard might be around, but no. Hoard I would have absolutely greeted warmly. He's leaving, after all.

IDAWAHIO!!!!

By all means, play the David Bowie song. No, not 'Quicksand'.

2011-09-09T13:12:00.002-04:00

Did you know that Matt Sheely was released several days ago? No, you did not, and that is because you are unthinking and unfeeling. He seemed like a nice kid, very well-dressed also.

Looks like Ryan Khoury's back with Pawtucket. And here I thought the gaping hole at McCoy was the result of Paul Hoover's departure. Speaking of catchers, Dan Butler is back. But not John Otness.

Oh, yeah, Joey Gathright. The funny thing is that once again I will probably never get to see him play. Oh well, I'll always have Kevin Millwood. He's in a big jar in my basement.

Charlie Zink is back! Except it's Charlie Haeger and I cannot believe it. David Laurila, John Gray, charliezink16, a shocked Steve Dilbeck, Old Time Family Baseball, Jon Hanford, redsox04, and Marc Normandin have a few things to say about that.

Still no word from Devern Hansack. I've been hanging around his old address.

9.8.2011 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs - Scott Podsednik?

2011-09-09T11:37:00.002-04:00

Lehigh Valley WINS! 4-2. Uh-oh, playoff contention can be a real bitch. And it's the IronPigs' first franchise playoff game.

Matt Fox started for Pawtucket, which was a really good idea and is exactly what I would have done. No, for real. Fox was the LOSING pitcher, going six heavenly innings and giving up The Only Three Runs That Mattered. Two of them were solo home runs by catcher Erik Kratz and choir boy Brandon Moss.

Starting P for the IronPigs was Dave Bush, and I wonder if he's the same Bush who was on the Brewers? YES. It also appears to be Bush's third org. this season. Poor kid. Bush worked his way into the seventh inning, getting a couple of outs before being replaced by good ol' Joe Savery. Bush struck out six, gave up a solo home run to Anderson but no other runs.

The IronPigs picked up their first run in the first inning, thanks to CF Rich Thompson. Thompson led off with a single, stole second, advanced on a Podsednik sac bunt, and scored on a ground ball by Kevin Frandsen.

Those pesky solo homers by Kratz and Moss kicked the score up to 3-0 until the Pawtucket home run in the sixth. Brandon Duckworth, ordinarily trusty and ship-solid, was working hard in the seventh but he gave up a solo home run to squirty little shortstop Freddy Galvis. 4-1, guh. And your ERA gets reset for the playoffs, so Duckworth's is 13.50.

The Red Sox got some runners on in the eighth, resulting in a second run. It wasn't that interesting. Reliever Justin De Fratus came in to close the game out, K'd Iglesias and got Lin and Gathright to ground out to end the ballgame. Game length was two hours, 42 minutes.

two things:
1. You missed me hard, didn't you? I had a lot going on. It hurt me more than it hurt you.
2. Justin De Fratus: "I wondered how loud it was going to get when I got the final out and it surpassed my expectations. They were louder than I thought. I didn’t know 5,000 people could get that loud. It was louder tonight than it had ever been all season with a sold-out crowd." (source)
3. Wow, those Allentown kidz are souped about the playoffs. I could go there next yr, right?
4. Gregg from 'Phuture Phillies' talks about it.http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
5. Hector Luna got zero point zero zero hits. LUNA, TAKE US TO THE PLAYOFFS!
6. Reliever Tommy Hottovy got the last four outs and managed to not give up a home run, like everyone else did.
7. PawSox Keith can hardly contain his excitement and frustration: "The PawSox offense struggled early against Lehigh Valley starter Dave Bush (1-0), Bush held Pawtucket scoreless until the sixth when he gave up a lead-off home run to Lars Anderson. Bush worked 6 2/3 innings, giving up one run on five hits in getting the victory." Whoa, temper temper! Good thing I didn't mention the apostrophe in the possessive 'its'.
8. Justin De Fratus tells fans to watch their language.
9. Jay Floyd bends your ear a little with this nice, nice game recap.
10. It was Freddy Galvis' first Triple-A home run. He may win the Paul Owens Award.
11. "Thompson's speed and two groundouts to give him the lead in the bottom of the inning off Matt Fox, who had won his last four starts and was 5-0 with a 1.48 ERA over his last seven outings." I think this sentence is missing a word or two. Aside from that, the story's terrific.
12. PhoulBallz dot com has De Fratus interview excerpts.
13. "Independent of what happens with Rollins, Galvis is not going to be the SS in Philly in 2012. They’ve been patient with him this long and there is no reason to rush a guy who has had one good offensive year and make him an everyday player at 22 on a championship caliber club. They will sign a stop gap type player for a year or two if Rollins isn’t retained. I don’t think there is any debating this." - Anonymous commenter on PhuturePhillies

Tonight! Still in PA. It'll be Tony Pena v Ryan Edell, who is from Mass and is like totally hottt. I wish I could go. I could go. I could leave right now, just get in my car and drive to PA. But then I have to drive back, so...

If the IronPigs win tonight, it's curtains for the Red Sox.

I need a new job.

"Me? A movie?"

2011-09-07T20:04:00.002-04:00

Generally, I never shut up about how I avoid mentioning brand names/promoting anything.

I am going to make an exception right now. I will be appearing as a celebrity guest judge at the 'Gansett Beer'd Off: A Rhody Style Beard & Moustache Competition' in Downtown Providence on Saturday, September 17th. It was created by and will be hosted by Blackstone Valley Media Club member Rev. Bastien and his Rhode Island Beard and Moustache Club.

It's a block party! Competition will be between 4-5 pm in Luongo Square. Sign up between noon-3:30, there will be prizes.

Maybe I'll hand out balloons or something.

8.30.2011 Pawtucket @ Rochester - Lin Goes First

2011-09-02T07:07:00.003-04:00

Rochester takes it, 8-6.

Starting pitcher for Rochester was Cole DeVries. DeVries gave up a lot of hits and got kidney-punched off the hill in the fifth inning when he walked Kevin Youkilis with one out. Overall, DeVries gave up two runs on eight hits. Could have been worse. The Red Sox left people on base all night long, so thanks a lot, rehabbing sluggers.

The other guy from over there, Greg Smith, who can build a castle from a single grain of sand, fared much worse. Smith was battered for six runs through five innings... Oh, darn my socks. I reversed my SP assessment. Am I that rusty?

The Red Wings took a rather early lead indeed, scoring not once, not twice, not thrice, not... foureyes, but fried rice. Smith walked shortstop Matt Tolbert and Tolbert stole second. DH Ray Chang then doubled to right, scoring Tollbooth. Jeff Bailey, who leads his team in walks, walked. It's one of the things he does best, the other being able to make eggs over easy without fracturing the precious, precious yolk.

DeVries got third baseman Chase Lambin to fly out, but then Aaron Bates came around real mean with an RBI single. 2-0 Rochester. And then the worst possible thing happened: Brian Dinkelman hit a three-run homer. Dinkelman!

Greg Smith managed to get his shit together and strike out Toby Gardenhire to end the inning.

Ray Chang came around again in the second inning with another RBI single. EVERYBODY RAY CHANG TONIGHT!

Things were super quiet at the park until, say, the fifth inning. JD Drew singled to center with one out. And then, as I mentioned earlier, DeVries walked Youkilis. Lefty reliever Jake Stevens was given the opportunity to regulate, but instead he pissed all over the seat and gave up back-to-back doubles to Ryan Lavarnway and Daniel Nava, but not Yamaico Navarro. 6-3!

First baseman Hans Gunderson followed the doubles up with an RBI single to right, scoring Nava. 6-4! Stevens got Will Middlebrooks to line out, but for some reason MGR Tom Nieto opted for another lefty, former Atlanta guy Chuck James. Oooh, Chuck, what a sexy name. Are you ready for me... Chuck? CJ faced Hector Luna and I'll bet his knees were knocking. But Luna flied out to end the Red Menace.

Former Pawtucket reliever Jason Rice came in for the sixth and showed the talent and poise that made him so attractive to Oakland. Rice gave up a pair of runs in the sixth when catcher Jair Fernandez homered with Dinkelman on first. 8-4 Rochester!

Hey, Trever Miller's on the PawSox! Where'd they dig him up? Miller made himself useful and pitched the rest of the game for Pawtucket. No one scored, no one came near. And the Red Sox put a bunch of runners on in the ninth, but Gunderson K'd to end everything. Ah, Ziggy. Will you ever win?

Two things:
1. Drew and Youkilis were big draws, but I believe seeing Keith Foulke in Rochester trumped all of that. Even though he made Pawtucket lose.
2. Trot Nixon was there signing autographs before the game. I should have been there. I was gonna go, but... No, I should have been there. Maybe I could have struck out Ray Chang.
3. Daniel Nava hit a triple, so that was kind of cute. He wound up going 3-5.

Sorry I wasn't around for the past few days, but I was in Montevideo attending a sports blogger summit. Oh, sure, this isn't your conventional, well-thought out sports blog, but my worldwide influence intrigued the hosts. There were flaming desserts and eco-hiking and all sorts of exotic boozes. Wish you could have come.

TONIGHT! Pawtucket's back at home, facing the Yankees. Matt Fox v Adam Warren, if you're curious. I can't go because I hate my job which consumes far too much of my free time and the commute's a pain and I hate my job. And I'm broke. Can someone hook me up with more favorable employment? I can't sing and I can't type, but I can...

8.31.2011 Rochester has secret win power, like their secret insane pyro jungle wife in the attic.

2011-09-01T17:28:00.003-04:00

Red Wings defeat sweaty meathead Pawtucket bats, 4-2.

Can't get too deep into this game, since I don't really have my writing pants on this aft. Kyle Weiland ruined Christmas out there in New York while living in The Bankrupt City That No One Cared About ruined Christmas for me. Oh, boo-hoo. I read some books that made me cry and cry and I realized that internet access has transformed me from a comelibros to a dumdum.

Starting pitcher for Rochester was Liam Hendriks, who is Australian. What is it with the Twins and their Australians? I know the obvious answer is that their scouts roll deep in Australia, but obvious answers are seldom exciting.

Junichi Tazawa and Scott Atchison pitched an inning apiece and kept Rochester from scoring the rest of the game. KYLE. Kevin Youkilis hit a home run. I hope he was a gracuious guest of the Pawtucket Sox. I mean, I'm not really a Lowrie fan, but at least when he came to Pawtucket and really pitched in, he commented publicly that it was nice to help the team get a win. I doubt Youkilis gives a shit. Probably kept referring to Nate Spears and Anderson as 'Matt' and 'Johan'.

FINE. I'm sure Youkilis was reasonably nice. Him and Jeff Bailey go way back, right? Bailey hit two doubles for the R. Wings, too.

This game was only two hours and twenty minutes long.

By the way, what's up with Jason Rice going to Oakland?

No game tonight, but maybe tomorrow I'll properly assess this one or something like it.

8.26.11 Red Sox, Yankees, Game Two, Sex, Drugs, Guns, Violence, Crimson, Clover

2011-08-27T07:59:00.002-04:00

But no rock and roll? No, baseball is pretty far from rock and roll. It's country, reggaeton, and Nicklecrap. Oh, there was that one weak lefty who never shut up about how he liked the Pixies, but that was years ago.

PAWTUCKET WINS GAME TWO, MEANING THE YANKEES LOST BOTH GAMES OF THE DOUBLE HEADER.

Scranton Wilkes-Barre didn't have a starter so much as they had some arms throwing some ball at some guys, but the first outing was by recently DFA'd Aaron Laffey. And that was after he was claimed off Mariners waivers. Laffey's a big star, after all. I especially enjoy his taffy. (Sorry.)

Laffey pitched 2 1/3, Andrew Brackman pitched 3 2/3, and Logan Kensing pitched one inning. Brackman was the best of them, like Ziva's dead sister. Laffey was pretty much ravaged by los tigres Pawtucket.

LUNA! Hector Luna, still working second base like a pro, drew first blood with an RBI single in the first. The Red Sox scored two more runs in the second, most notably by way of a Jose Iglesias RBI double. The mighty, mighty Luna hit an RBI double in the third and later scored to slap the score into life, 5-2.

Oh, wait, the Yankees scored two runs in the first inning. Jorge Vazquez, two-run homer off Jason Rice. What can you do, it's mega-slugger Vazquez, IL leader and successor to Juan Miranda. Vazquez hit a second home run off Tommy Hottovy later in the game, too, and now he has an even 30. Hooray. Hooray for this.

In the seventh inning, Luna and Will Middlebrooks hit back-to-back singles to add two runs to Pawtucket's total. In a related story, the domain name backtobacksingles.com is available. In an even more related story, I will always love Hector Luna. Even if he spits on me. No, especially if he spits on me.

Hideki Okajima also pitched. Two scoreless with three strikeouts. Has he righted himself?

over and over:
1. "Brett Carroll went all the way to third when center fielder Chris Dickerson misplayed and dropped his leadoff line drive in the second, starting a rally that gave the Red Sox a 3-2 lead." Dickerson! Go lie down!
2. The headline from Pinstriped Bible reads, "Aaron Laffey? Really?" That about sums it up.

TIME! Tonight we have Tony Pena/Manny Banuelos. Still Yankees. I hope the Red Sox win. (tm)

8.26.2011 Pawtucket @ Scranton Wilkes-Barre - Game One

2011-08-27T06:59:00.007-04:00

Pawtucket wins, 6-1 in seven innings.

Starting pitcher for the Red Sox was Matt Fox, fit and brimming. Fox pitched five innings, not six or seven, and gave up a run. He also struck out five, including the always dangerous catcher Jesus Montero. Fox only pitched five innings. His pitch count was 71. The game was only seven innings. Injury, schminjury, Fox could have done six.

Handsome Randy Williams wrapped everything up for Pawtucket by pitching the last two innings. He gave up a solo home run to Brandon Laird.

Your starter for the Scrankees was righty Adam Warren. Warren got eleven strikeouts! That's a quality performance, right? I mean, he was one out short of pitching the whole game!

No, Adam Warren gave up six runs. Evidently, Warren was not painty-finessy. I don't know if that's his schtick or if he just had an off night? In fact, I don't know anything. What I do know is this: Warren threw 120 pitches, 74 for strikes. 120 pitches! 120 pitches! The Yankees are fucking crazy!

Pawtucket scored their first run in the first inning when Daniel Nava hit a solo home run. And then the most adorable thing happened in the second inning. Jose Iglesias, Little Iggy, little scarf boy, hit his first home run as a professional. And perhaps his last. But it was his first and it was a darling basket of kittens. And Exposito was on base, so it was a two-run thang. Awwww.

LUNA! in the sixth inning, Hector Luna hit a two-run double to pop the score up to 5-0. And finally in the seventh, Nava hit an RBI double. Pawtucket's scoring was perfectly palindromic, you should see the scoreboard.

et:
1. Donnie Collins is a good man and he puts it down: "The Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees' amazing, four-year run as International League North Division champion is on life support now." HA! Pull the plug!!! JOE, TAKE US TO THE PLAYOFFS!
2. Mike Lamb?! Lamb is never gonna die, I swear. He will play for Pawtucket within the next couple of years, I predict.
3. From the SWB live blog: "Sorry to say this, but if you are the Yankees http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifand you have the playoffs essentially on the line, you have to get more than two hits against Matt Fox and Randy Williams. I know they are good pitchers. But the Yankees didn’t change their approach and got overpowered. Story of the season." You think Boston fans are dramatic? Jesus Christ.
4. PawSox Keith can barely contain his excitement: "In game one the PawSox got out to a quick lead off Yankees starter Adam Warren (6-7). Daniel Nava blasted a solo homer in the first and Jose Iglesias belted his first home run of the season, a two-run shot, in the second." Whoa, settle down! You don't want to end up like me, do you?
5. The Yankee Analysts feel that Adam Warren is a tweener. That's not very nice, what if his mom reads that?
6. Also, Pinstripe Alley delves into Adam Warren's psyche, stats, mechanics, and turn-ons.

LATER THE SAME DAY! Game two. Stay tuned, it's a rather happy ending.

Game Notes from the Atlantic

2011-08-26T21:28:00.002-04:00

Two things:
1. Luis Exposito went 3-5. In fact, everybody got a hit! Brett Carroll struck out three times, though.
2. This Weiland/Meyers pitching matchup also occurred at the Futures at Fenway game the other day. Except the Chiefs won.
3. Was Brad Meyers' high school coach's name really Tood Cook? Tood?
4. Federal Baseball has a very good interview with Brad Meyers. THEY PUT METAL PINS IN HIS FOOT!!
5. Meyers took Matt Chico's spot in triple-A.
6. Meyers' teammate Josh Johnson describes him as 'mild-mannered, reserved and an awesome guy'.
7. Bus Leagues LY interview with Severino, who keeps his remarks brief.

Tonight! Double header. Matt Fox and stuff. Yankees. Let's do it.

8.25.2011 Red Sox @ Chiefs - Severino

2011-08-26T07:11:00.003-04:00

Pawtucket ties it, then pulls ahead, then drops bricks on Syracuse. 12-4 the final and can I tell you how much I hate the Yankees? I hate you, The Yankees. I hope Ortiz puts a hurt on their pitching staff next week. Did you read that story? It's so good.

Starting pitcher for Pawtucket was Kyle Weiland, who gave up four singles and hit CF Roger Bernadina in the first inning to give the Chiefs the 2-0 lead. Weiland gave up six hits altogether and walked three. He was up to 98 pitches after six innings so he left the game to eat sandwiches and take a nap.

Lefty Father of the Year Felix Doubront pitched innings seven and eight and the Chiefs scrounged up a hit but nothing more. Syracuse had better luck with Michael Bowden, most notably when Roger Bernadina hit a two-run homer in the ninth, but by that time Pawtucket had a fat, fat lead. Bernadina's lucky there's no stat for Futile Home Runs.

Chiefs starter Brad Meyers also pitched six innings and gave up two runs. His work was undone by the relief corps, save Zechry Zinicola who managed to get the last Pawtucket out.

Hmm, okay, Pawtucket scoring. Let adjust my glasses and pull out this haphazard sheaf of papers from my university desk and shuffle through it. Third inning, Luis Exposito and Jose Iglesias hit back-to-back singles to lead it off. Both later scored. 2-2.

The game remained tied until the bottom of the eighth inning. Skinny reliever Ryan Tatusko still working after keeping the Red Sox scoreless in the seventh. Che-Hsuan Lin nabbed Tatusko for a single and then came the call to the pen. Lee Hyde came rollin' in. Don't try to understand him. Hyde walked Nate Spears. Daniel Nava bunted those dudes over, which was nice. Hyde struck out Anderson and walked away.

New reliever in the eighth: Jeff Mandel. And here comes Hector Luna. Ha! Luna hit a two-run single, is all. La fiebre de Luna! Will Middlebrooks followed up with a single, but Mandel got Carroll to strike out to end the inning. 4-2 Pawtucket.

NINTH INNING. Pawtucket leads with single, single, sac bunt. Adorable. Mandel gets booted in favor of Atahualpa Severino. I'm not sure Severino had any idea what was coming next. Maybe he did.

Nate Spears singled, scoring Exposito. Nava doubled, scoring both Jose Iglesias and Spears. Anderson and Luna, back-to-back singles, another run scored. Severino walked Middlebrooks to load the bases. Brett Carroll struck out, thank you Jesus, but Exposito hit a grand slam, effectively garrotting Atahualpa S. 12-4 Pawtuckets.

That's it, I'm afraid. Time's run out and I have to go to work while I still have a job.

8.24.2011 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Syracuse Chiefs

2011-08-25T07:15:00.005-04:00

Syracuse WINS! 3-1. Pawtucket's a game behind Lehigh Valley in the division and in first place for the wild card.

Starter for Pawtucket was Greg Smith, a lefty. Smith's a new guy, formerly a Scrankee. I know you're probably wondering, is he taken? I'm sure he's married. Okay?

Smith pitched six innings and only gave up one run, which was nice. Jeff Frazier hit an RBI single with the bases loaded, is what happened. But when Smith faced second baseman Steve Lombardozzi, who everyone loves to bits, Lombardozzi grounded into a double play.

Junichi Tazawa, still working his way back to you, babe. Tazawa came in for the seventh and no one cared, no one put a stop to it. The game was tied at one and in Real Baseball, it would have been Williams and Bowden. But this is triple-A, the least real dirty of all the minors. Grit and hunger are hard to come by around these parts. And so we get Tazawa the Tommy-Johnbot, giving up a two-run homer to third baseman Seth Bynum. Waaah, I said, much like Lucy Ricardo did.

We should talk about Chiefs starter Snap-E-Tom Milone, don't you think? Milone was great, struck out eight Red Sox through seven innings. His sole boo-boo was Giving up a home run to first baseman Lars Anderson. Scintillating scoreless relief was bro-vided by noted bros Zechry Zinicola and Josh Wilkie. KEGGER IN SYRACUSE!

Do you think it's weird that Jose Iglesias batted second last night? I do. Furthermore, I was sick yesterday and said delirious things about Will Middlebrooks and Lars Anderson, which were both inaccurate and inappropriate. If only there were some way to erase, or 'delete' the comments!

My admiration of Hector Luna remains steadfast, however. Even though he went 0-3. Tom Milone's good as gold, but twice as hard.

Tommy Hottovy also pitched for the Red Sox, a scoreless eighth.

migajas:
1. "Milone is nothing like any pitcher in the majors right now. The closest comparison in recent memory would be Jamie Moyer, which would tell you something about why a lot of scouts are skeptical of Milone's ability to succeed in the majors. Moyer has long been considered an anomaly because of his ability to get excellent results out of such mediocre stuff. Despite that, Milone has a 3.47 ERA in 129.2 innings for Syracuse, striking out 131 and walking only 13." - James Dunne discusses baseball on an infrequent basis. Terrific blog, though.
2. Matt Antonelli was an All-Star this year. From his website (?): "I believe we have the home run derby tonight, but for some reason me and my three home runs weren't invited. Too bad it wasn't a "seeing-eye single" derby. I'd dominate that shit."
3. Story by Syracuse's Lindsay Kramer, photos by Mike Greenlar.
4. So now we have this Patrick McHugh guy covering Pawtucket? For big Boston sports http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifmedia corporate conformist inc.? Did you know that he is a MURDERER?!
5. Brian MacPherson explores the possibility that Luis Exposito is not a crumb-bum.
6. PawSox Blog presents a more clear, concise game summary in measured tones.
7. Game video! A couple of Chiefs pitchers talk about Steven Strasburg's impending visit to Syracuse. Please note the misspelling of Tom Milone.
8. Would you like to get to know game star Seth Bynum? Not the way you're thinking... I mean, do you want to have carnal knowledge of Seth Bynum? Evidently he plays the piano. HOTTT.
9. Jose Iglesias went 2-4.

Tonight! Kyle Weiland @ Brad Meyers. In Syracuse, in the ballpark which is the same ballpark as Norfolk and Lehigh Valley and Indianapolis. DON'T THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE.

I am feeling much better, thanks for asking.

8.23.2011 I see Lars Anderson walkin' away.

2011-08-24T10:41:00.003-04:00

4-2, win goes to the Syracuse Chiefs. Not a good showing for the Pawtucket 150th Anniversary celebrity shindig. Congresspersons! Mayors! Business owners! Jason Benetti!

Starting P for the Red Sox was Alex Wilson, who has a super juicy ass and probably needs it to throw as hard as he does. Wilson dogged it out for four entire innings, giving up two runs on five hits. Not bad? He walked four dudes and his pitch count was up to 86. I was there, I don't know. I'm far from a scout so all I can say is that he looked weird. He is graceless.

The Syracuse chiefs gave us Brad Peacock, who pitched five and got the win. Know who else pitched for the Chiefs? Garrett Mock, still hanging on. And Atuhualpa Severino (not an actual Hawaiian.) And Josh Wilkie!

The game was tied at two, a score achieved through a series of wild pitches and walks and errors and base stealing. One of those classic triple-A slop games I've seen way too often. Jason Rice kept the fifth inning scoreless, but in the sixth the Chiefs nickle-and-dimed him for a couple of runs. Former PawSox roster stuffing Tug Hulett drove in one run, and a wild pitch by Rice allowed a second run to score.

Pawtucket probably could have won this game, but the defense was the team's downfall, excepting tiny dancer Jose Iglesias. Lars Anderson had some opportunities to make good plays, but Middlebrooks is not Hector Luna at third, nohow. Middlebrooks' throws to first need a little work. And Luna? He played second like the pro that he is. I'll bet he couldn't help but think, I would have gotten that runner. I would have nailed it. Anderson would have had that guy.

Handsome Randy Williams is back with Pawtucket. He pitched two innings last night, all scoreless and clean, with three K's. His fluidity and poise on the mound was like a counterpoint to the brutish throws of Alex Wilson. And also, he is handsome.

After the game there was a laser show. I stayed and watched it. What? I also participate in the wave sometimes. How many times have I told you that I'm keeping it real?

CL:
1. Since I almost always ride the first base line, I should be an expert on fielding that position. How many times did I see Jeff Bailey set, pivot, receive? Was he better than Aaron Bates? I never saw many problems over there, but then you had guys like Angel Chavez (number one greatest third baseman I've seen at McCoy), Gil Velazquez (also good), Keith Ginter... No, not Ginter. My point is that Anderson had some bad luck at first last night, which sufficiently rankled him into a desperate, sprawling layout in late innings, gut down in the dirt and ball-holding arm stretched to its limit onto the base. Who was the runner? I cannot remember.
2. But my point is this: These are Anderson's last days with Pawtucket. He is going to turn into Aaron Bates and there's nothing he can do about it.
3. "Fans at McCoy Stadium just got to see why Daniel Nava and Lars Anderson are expected to make an impact for Boston in the future." They are? When did this happen? Daniel Nava? REALLY? Information courtesy of a live blog of the game, written by one Patrick McHugh. Hey, McHugh: It's JHONATAN Solano. And thanks to the sporty mega-corporation who put this out there for horning in on my racket.
4. Oh, yeah, the Red Sox left the bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth. With no outs, they loaded them. And then came the bottom of the order.
5. Syracusey summary with video.
6. Everyone's favorite B-Mac tells you all about it.
7. The other B-Mac, the Up-and-Comer, does his thing all over Chili Davis' FAYCE! This season's feature stories deserve recognition, really. Some fresh stuff for that crazy little Pawtucket paper. All you, McGair.
8. Scouting report on Brad Peacock: "With a quick, loose arm action, he throws a 92 to 94 MPH straight fastball, a plus knuckle-curve ball with sharp downward action, and an average changeup. As the 2010 season progressed, his velocity climbed; when pitching out of the bullpen in the Arizona Fall League, he was hitting 96 MPH consistently. Possesses the arm strength and stuff and talent to become a mid-rotation starter. Fields position fairly well and has average athletic ability.Worst case scenario, power bullpen arm."

After being away for a while, I had to come back to a game like this? I had fun at the park, regardless. But since my computer had to undergo minor changes, I'm working with a handicap. My favorite stuff's all gone, I can't make good lineups, the blog search engine I usually use es jodido, everything's different, and I'm sick! Sick! Who gets sick in August? And why don't I ever get hate mail? I would love to get hate mail!

On the plus side, I'm an emerging force in grass-roots sports media. You have no idea how excited I am.

BASEBALLERY!!!!!

I hold my breath, I'm scared to death.

2011-08-23T15:47:00.002-04:00

Jolines! I am back! You don't know how badly I missed all this, there's so much we need to talk about, I can't believe it at all!

Do you know what I've been doing? Reading books, like some kind of animal!

Missed you guys so much, but I'm back for good. Gotta get crackalackin'. So many songs we have to sing... Together.

8.15.11 Now maybe you'll think twice before you freeze someone's head.

2011-08-16T11:36:00.002-04:00

Could it be? Yes, the Red Sox win and the Iron Pigs lose and JOE!! TAKE US TO THE PLAYOFFS!!!

Final score was 7-3, but the game was tied up 3-3 until the eighth inning. Sounds like a humdinger, wish I could have been there. Late August is such a fucking fantastic time for baseball and I watch the baseball channel and get all excited. Jim Thome, the Brewers, the Pirates K Pujols, Brian Wilson blows it, Delmon Young, all that stuff. I love all of it, I love the World Series, I Roger Angell love it. YES! YES! I'M NOT NO LIMBURGER!

Starter and Team Captain (if Pawtucket had a team captain, BD could be as good as anyone and would most likely get my vote) Brandon Q. Duckworth (may not be actual middle initial) got six strikeouts through six innings, gave up three runs on eight hits. Major, major accolades should be tossed upon the relief corps, along with cold beers and other assorted lagniappe. Hottovy! Atchison! Bowden! They all donned their most manly tool belts and bolted down the win for Duckworth.

(much later) Something alien has destroyed my PC. The following is a remote transmission.

For Gwinnett, fans were treated to a start by righty Erik Cordier. Cordier also pitched six innings and gave up three runs, including home runs by Ryan Lavarnway and Daniel Nava. But all the stuff, all the hard work, all undone by Cordier's supposed friends Anthony Varvaro and Jaye Chapman. Oh, what terrible things they've shown!

So what happened, specifically? In the eighth inning, with two out and two on, Nate Spears hit an RBI single. Because sometimes, Spears does good things, even when they play Britney songs during his at-bats. And then, ha, little Jose hit a two-run single! 6-3 Pawtucket!

The R. Sox tacked on their seventh run in the ninth when Mr. Helper Hector Luna singled with a couple of guys on. Luna's a walking work of art and Jaye Chapman is a broken wind-up toy.

The save went to M. Blowden. Ha, Blowden, What an exquisite typo.

caught a cold from the rain, don't care if i'm cold:
1. Ben Beitzel's lament.
2. And then there's Maude: Mike Delrio also makes an observation, because he's Isaac Fucking Newton. Slideshow included! Also, 'Pawtuckett'!
3. Brett Carroll went 3-4 with a double and stole a base. Smashing job, n00b.
4. Stefan Gartrell homered for the Braves. Gartrell is second in the IL for homers. Later he was spotted designing silk shirts.
5. And because brevity is next to cleanliness, here's a four-sentence newspaper story regarding the match. Again, who writes this stuff and how much to they have to drink at night to suppress their feelings of desperation and failure?

TONIGHT! A strong segment of the Blackstone Valley Media Club will be present at the park! Yes, I am a member... Founding member... Not president, though. Charlotte's in town for baseball, keno, and seafood. Felix Doubront will attempt to take the piss out of Jeanmar Gomez.

Side note: My computer could truly be deadski. I don't know what's going to happen because in terms of money, I have no money. And if I can't blog, then what's this all been about? What have I been working toward?

I know that no one reads any of this, but screw you. I'm cranking out majestic operatic arias to an empty house and I AM NEVER GOING TO DIE!!!

HESSMANIA!!!!

8.13.11 Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well how very nice.

2011-08-15T07:08:00.002-04:00

Matt Fox wins! 5-0. AND I get my wish! A Mets-style start from Pawtucket!

As I am certain you have heard already, Matt Fox pitched a complete game shutout. Fox struck out seven, walked one, and gave up two hits. Hit one, a single by third baseman Wilkin Castillo in the fourth. Wait, wasn't Wilkin Castillo on the Bats? Yes, he was!

The second hit was by shortstop Brandon Hicks in the ninth. Fox's pitch count for the entire game was 99.

Starter for the Gwinnett Braves was Yohan Pino. Johan Santana. Yorvit Torrealba? Jhoulys Chacin! No, Yohan Flande. Mmmm, Flande. Flande maybe had control problems, as he gave up seven hits and four walks through five innings. Flande threw the exact same amount of pitches at Matt Fox (99) with radically different results. Matt Fox DIDN'T give up a home run to the DH. Matt Fox DIDN'T give up any extra base hits. Matt Fox DIDN'T give up five earned runs. MATT FOX DIDN'T GIVE UP. And you did, Yohan! WHY? YOU ONLY MOVED THE HEADSTONES! WHY!?

Scoreless relief was provided by Braves bullpenners Ben Swaggerty, JJ Hoover, and Dustin Richardson. Thank you, boys!

Two things:
1. Yes, Daniel Nava hit a solo home run. ZOMG did you know Nava was scouted out of the Indy leagues?! I'll do you one better! The R. Sox just picked up a reliever named TJ Hose out of the Can-Am League. Unfortunately, Hose is 47 years old. And he's originally from Brockton. He was gonna be a boxer like his old man, but too many blows to the dome rendered him an imbecile. Here's hoping he climbs his way up to Pawtucket!
2. Fox sez: "To do it under 100 pitches was a lot of fun. I told my mom that it was my first complete game or shutout since college. She drove up from Orlando and I was glad that she was able to watch me. She’s a teacher and she goes back to work tomorrow, so this is probably the last time she will see me pitch this year. It was nice to end her summer on a high." (UCF Today)
3. Al Daniel's shocking exposé of a sweltering, sultry, sweat-soaked matchup feat. Tyler Pastornicky's leg.
4. Braves reliever Ben Swaggerty was doing the double-A Royals thing and asked for his release, which the organization gave to him. I wonder what happened?

One more Gwinnett Braves game tonight! Brandon Duckworth will punch Erik Cordier in the mush, see? I figuratively cannot wait.

8.13.11 Junichi Tazawa is Well and Feeling Fine

2011-08-14T08:08:00.003-04:00

Braves win, 4-2. Kyle Weiland takes the loss.

The Gwinnett Braves assaulted Weiland's balls with their bats, resulting in four runs, including a homer by (who else?) Brian McCann. McCann's all done with his rehab, thank you very much.

Todd Redmond, no relation to Mike except it's his brother, started for the Gwinnett Braves and had a little more success. Redmond pitched seven innings, and only gave up one run. He threw 100 pitches. When will someone from Pawtucket have a start like that? I realize it's all some diabolical plan that comes from the organization, but what about me? I want to see a for real start! I want Felix Doubront to pitch 8 innings! 105 pitches! That'll fix him!

The Red Sox scored their first puny run in the second inning, when Luis Exposito grounded out with a runner on third. Exposito rubbed some sticks together in the ninth, too, and hit an RBI single. Iglesias popped up after that with a couple of runners on, but no dice. Iglesias grounded out like a little baby.

And what about Junichi Tazawa? He jumped into the game in the sixth inning, got some work in, threw 46 pitches. Randy Williams also chalked up one out, a big K in the eighth. Jeff Fiorentino cannot handle that kind of truth!

One thing about Randy Williams. Before games at McCoy Stadium, the scoreboard blasts the rules and regs as read by the players. Most of them come off barely literate, but Williams has PIZAZZ! CRACKLE AND POP! Guys as sharp as him are something rare. Someone give Randy W. A walk-on part in a soap opera, like some of those guys from... The Pirates? Oakland? Was it the Cardinals?

It was the Brewers. I just looked it up.

Cory Gearrin got the save for the Braves. Gearrin then started a wave before he shaved.

keep them just the same:
1. Al Daniel breaks it down Rhody-style.
2. Todd Redmond is not Mike Redmond's brother. He is, in fact, his father. Did you know he threw a no-hitter?
3. Ben Beitzel of the Georgia Beitzels paints a perfect picture and brings 2 life a vision in one's mind. Also, is pitching coach Marty Reed calling Todd Redmond a fatass?

Tonight it's Matt Fox v lefty Yohan Flande. Sure.

8.12.11 Pawtucket @ Gwinnett County - McCann

2011-08-13T09:22:00.004-04:00

Well, this game had something for everyone! PawSox manage to swing it, 5-3. Mostly because things got crazy in the ninth, very slippery and arms and legs everywhere. I'll bet those guys smelled terrible after the game.

Tony Pena started for Pawtucket and gave up one run on six hits through five innings. I miss Kevin Millwood already. Julio Teheran started for the Braves and he's the guy people were there to see, aside from a rehabbing Brian McCann.

Julio Teheran threw 106 pitches! He pitched seven innings! Pawtucket got eight hits off Teheran, but only managed to produce two runs. And the Braves didn't even DP Pawtucket once! (Uh huh huh huh. Uh huh huh huh.)

If Pawtucket didn't win this game, you could have pinned the L on Che-Hsuan Lin and his negative clutchness. Three times! Three times Lin made the last out with runners in scoring position! GO BACK TO RUSSIA!

The Braves were up 3-2 in the ninth inning. Okajima had a tough sixth inning which miraculously only resulted in one run for Gwinnett. Jason Rice came to his emotional rescue and got the last out, but then gave up a solo home run to Wilkin Ramirez in the eighth. AAAAGHH I am never going to that park!!

Pawtucket's fortunes turned in the ninth inning while Jaye Chapman was pitching. Daniel Nava led off with a single to center, and isn't it nice to see him hitting a little? Chapman got Carroll and Spears to fly out, so maybe he thought he was in pretty good shape. Probably not, though, because relievers have to be coiled springs of intensity at all times. Like Ramon Ramirez, that guy was INTENSE.

So with two outs and little Danny Nava dangling on first, Hector Luna stepped up. Notice how Luna's been dropped in the batting order? No, you didn't, because I am probably the only person who cares about that. Luna hit a line drive single to left and I'm sure the scoreboard encouraged the fans to react negatively.

Chapman then walked Iglesias to load the bases. And this time, Che-Hsuan Lin was clutch, hitting a two-run single. 4-3 Red Sox! GET SOME!

Pitching change: Dustin Richardson showed up for the party in Pawtucket's pants. Kalish was batting. Lin stole second and Iglesias scored on a passed ball. D'oh, Wil Nieves!

Richardson wound up walking Kalish, who turned around and pulled off a double steal with Lin. It was very nearly an Eiffel Tower situation. Richardson faced Lavarnway next and he is so lucky that Lavarnway's cooled off. Groundout, inning over, damage done, the king is dead, do not pass 'Go', shut the door so I can leave, I will follow him.

Scott Atchison closed the game out and it was very professional. Atchison is witchcraft. And this game was 3.5 hours long.

y lo que:
1. Hector Luna went 4-4 with a double. I wonder what his reaction was to being dropped?
2. I listened to a good chunk of this game on the radio. I know I have mentioned it before, but the Braves PA guy is out of control. And they do all these sound effects and promos during the game, making it kind of hard to listen to the broadcast. Even Hyder was all, 'Show a little class, ballpark.' That PA guy must drink himself into a stupor when he gets home. I know I would.
3. Lavarnway went 0-5 with 2 K's.
4. Wil Nieves must have declining skills in keeping runners on. Lin stole two, Kalish two, Spears one. Lavarnway had three bags stolen on him... Tough night for catchers.
5. Story on McCann, featuring the 'Pawtucket PawSox'.
6. "Until Friday’s loss, Gwinnett was 50-0 when leading after eight innings." - Ben Beitzel, Gwinnett paper. You spelled 'reliever' wrong, dude.
7. WTF?! Somehow Ruben Gotay comes out 'Brandon Gutay' in this game story. I kinda internet-know the writer so I can't rip on him too badly. Another PC guy working for the Pawtucket paper. Go Friars!!
8. WIL Nieves! It's WIL Nieves!!!!
9. Wanna see a killer photo of Jaye Chapman?

Tonight we will do the Kyle Weiland thing. Todd Redmond will be out there, too, sweating his balls off. Ah, Georgia. It never gets any cuter.

8.11.11 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Charlotte Knights - Los Zurdos

2011-08-12T07:04:00.002-04:00

Red Sox take this one 3-2. Doug Davis will get you next time.

Pawtucket starting pitcher was Felix Doubront, easing into pitching again like a bubbling hot tub. Doubront worked for 2 2/3 innings, giving up a hit, a walk, and no runs. He threw 42 pitches and struck out three. Just a quickie last night for Doubront.

Charlotte Knights starter last night was the world famous Doug Davis. Davis could quite possibly have pitched a great game, but the first inning was rough and he gave up those three Pawtucket runs.

See, what had happened was Ryan Kalish returned to the lineup. Kalish's first at-bat featured a line drive to center for a double with one out. I'll bet that felt great. Doug Davis then walked Lavarnway and Anderson to load the bases for Brett Carroll. Wait, Brett Carroll's still around? I thought that was a practical joke!

Carroll hit a fly ball to center, allowing Kalish to score. Next up was Luis Exposito, who hit a single, scoring Lavarnway. Jose Iglesias, the lightest hitter this side of the Pecos, hit a single of his own right after that. Anderson scored! 3-0 Pawtucket.

Oh, hey, look, it's the bottom of the fourth! How did Tommy Hottovy get out there? And did he just give up a leadoff double to Dayan Viciedo? YES. And then Josh Phegley batted Viciedo in to bring the score to 3-1.

The Knights scored again in the seventh inning. Handsome Randy Williams got tagged for a run when he hit catcher Josh Phegley with a pitch, which generated a run when second baseman Andrew Garcia doubled. Uh-oh, 3-2... Was Charlotte coming back to kill us all?

No, because Williams pulled it together and got some outs, leaving his high score and extra lives to Michael Bowden. Bowden put a bow on it for the PawSox and the 4,000 fans in attendance (Or, realistically, the 3,000) trudged home with heavy hearts. They really care about the White Sox down in the Carolinas.

presser:
1. Ryan Kalish also struck out twice. Tony Thomas went hitless and struck out three times. Iglesias got two hits.
2. Guess who got the win? Tommy Hottovy.
3. I have limited resources for game notes. I mean, you can read this, but you may as well read a box score. I mean, don't they have someone at the paper that can cover Charlotte Knights games?
4. Not really anyone blogging White Sox minors, either?
5. Felix Doubront added, Royce Ring to the DL. Jeremy Kehrt's back with Portland, but still on the DL. Ronald Bermudez is also in Portland.
6. Did we talk about the release of Clevelan Santeliz? He's gone.
7. Oh, here's something! Peter St Onge talks about the Knights getting money to build a downtown ballpark and how risky it is.
8. Kristin Horne admires Lavarnway's work in Charlotte.
9. Lindsey Roycraft is the Knights PR person. Her job is evidently a challenge every day.
10. More stuff about a potential new park for the Charlotte Knights. According to this person, the Greenville Drive draws more fans than the Knights. BELIEVE IT.

TONIGHT. Gwinnett Braves. Julio Teheran! Tony Pena will be over there, trying to solve that thing. Meantime, let's go to work!

8.10.11 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Charlotte Knights

2011-08-11T07:58:00.002-04:00

Charlotte Knights take it, 8-5. Tough night, Royce Ring.

Starting pitcher for the Red Sox was Brandon Duckworth. Duckworth pitched 6 2/3 innings, as usual. He gave up five runs on seven hits, including two home runs by freaking Dallas McPherson. I'd say Duckworth has had better days.

Dylan Axelrod put it down for FMSC, working.... Well, laboring for five innings and giving up four runs on eight hits. Axelrod struck out five and walked three.

Axelrod's first inning was pretty sloppy. Che-Hsuan Lin led off with a single. A double by Nate Spears allowed Lin to take third and set everything up for Ryan Lavarnway, who flew out to left so Lin could score. Lars Anderson did Lavarnway one better and singled to right, scoring Spears.

Axelrod then walked Nava and Carroll to load the bases, but he struck out Hector Luna and Brett Carroll to escape. But Pawtucket was up 2-0, so the Knights... They probably didn't really care that much.

Charlotte tied the game up in the fourth inning when Dallas McPherson hit a two-run homer. McPherson is not as old as you think he is, although it seems like he was on the Angels a rather long time ago. The Red Sox pulled ahead again by a run when Anderson hit an RBI single in the fifth.

Bottom of the fifth, Duckworth was ruffled again. Shorty Eduardo Escobar led off with a triple, which was at once majestic and irritating. Duckworth assessed the situation, took a few signs and... Wild pitch! Escobar scores!

And that wasn't even the worst part of the inning. After first baseman Jim Gallagher grounded into a force out, Dallas McPherson hit his second HR of the night, making the score 5-3. Okay, the Red Sox had work to do.

Sixth inning, still Axelrod. Axelrod put a couple of runners on without getting an out, so he was replaced by reliever Addison Reed. Reed is a young prospect in the White Sox org. He got Jose Iglesias to fly out to right and catcher Josh Phegley caught Exposito stealing. All anyone can really say is 'D'oh!'

And then it looks like Reed walked Lin with a wild pitch, scoring Hector Luna. 5-4!

Duckworth pitched a tidy sixth and Pawtucket scored their tying run in the seventh on a solo home run by Daniel Nava.

Okay, here's the Royce Ring part: Ring gave up three runs in the bottom of the eighth. There were a couple of singles, a bunt, a double, a home run, and then a pickoff to end the inning. Not at all in that order, but I don't want to keep you here all day.

Charlotte reliever Josh Kinney pitched the last couple of innings and got the win. Cool, I used to be a big fan of his affordable footwear.

two things:
1. Nate Spears went 3-5 with two doubles. He's got a grudge against Axelrod. The last game Axelrod pitched against Pawtucket, Spears was ejected. FACT.
2. Brett Carroll and Jose Iglesias got zero hits.
3. From Angels blog 'True Grich', we see how much Dallas McPherson resembles Joaquin Phoenix.
4. Addison Reed scouting report. (not a sentence)
5. "A wild pich", "came in to run for Millegde", "Dallas McPhearson". I certainly expect better.
6. A look at Addison Reed's repertoire here. Good stuff, Corey Ettinger, but you forgot to mention Reed's serious asshole face.
7. Addison Reed has a less successful brother in the Cubs org. Ah, that old story.
8. Addison Reed was Stephen Strasburg's closer! AZTECS!!!
9. Knights catcher Josh Phegley has ITP, which is like really bad for your platelets.
10. This story only briefly mentions Josh Phegley, but it's got this kickass headline: "AJ Pierzynski wants to play 162, he should not".
11. Dallas McPherson is going to be inducted into the Citadel Athletic Hall of Fame. Wow.

TONIGHT!!!! Tony Pena v Doug Davis. Wait, THE Doug Davis? Yes, that guy.

Later!

8.9.11 The game that no one cared about.

2011-08-10T07:14:00.003-04:00

Pawtucket wins both games of the double header v the Charlotte Knights, this game 5-1. Pawtucket starter Matt Fox got the win and is now 7-4. Charlotte's Deunte Heath takes the loss for his team.

Fox pitched six innings and gave up one run on two hits. He struck out eight hitters, so that certainly helped. The Knights scored their run in the fifth, when shortstop Andrew Garcia hit an RBI double.

Deunte Heath. Never heard of him. And then I looked him up and I see that he is notorious. But Heath is a pitcher and that's what I'm here after. The Red Sox first scored off Deunte in the first, when Nava and Anderson hit back-to-back doubles to put up a run and lead 1-0.

Pawtucket didn't score again until the fifth inning. With one out, Tony Thomas and Lin hit back-to-back singles, then advanced on a wild pitch. Thomas scored on a sac fly by Nate Spears, but the real highlight was Nava hitting a two-run homer to right. 4-0 Red Sox.

Pawtucket scored their fifth run in the seventh with a bunch of chippy walky-singleton groundouts.

Reliever Michael Bowden closed the game out for Pawtucket with a scoreless inning that featured a single by slugger Dayan Viciedo.

it's just a shame that's all:
1. Knights manager Joe McEwing was ejected from this game for reasons that defy search engines. As I'm sure you know, McEwing's last season of pro ball was with Pawtucket in 2007. And it was unforgettable.
2. Hector Luna also hit a double.
3. Reliever and noted Australian Shane Lindsay pitched the last two innings for Charlotte. Charlotte's Tom Sorenson reports, "Before Lindsay runs to the mound, he asks a teammate to slap him so hard his eyes water." ALRIGHT, HAMILTON! I would kill to slap someone on the PawSox so hard their eyes water!
4. Shane Lindsay claims he does not drink. An Australian who doesn't drink? What's next, a talking banana?

Damn it, I should have done the other game. It had two Lavarnway home runs and the return of Ryan Kalish. And Junichi Tazawa! I'm very disappointed in myself.

Tonight! Brandon Duckworth, Dylan Axelrod. Should be a soggy, humid game. Enjoy it.

all this stuff happened but i think i'm finished now

2011-08-09T21:22:00.001-04:00

Sorry I've been away so long. I won't let you down again.

go on

2011-08-08T07:23:00.000-04:00

Yesterday's game was rained out.

End transmission.

8.6.11 Dear Kalish, won't you come out to play?

2011-08-07T08:14:00.002-04:00

Kevin Millwood is gone?! Oh, well, at least I got to see him pitch Friday night. That was nice of him to make his start before he left.

ZACH DAEGES WAS RELEASED?! Oh! What could have been!

Could be worse. Could be raining.

Pawtucket WINS! all over your face! 11-1 at McCoy Stadium. Gustavo Chacin once again may not even be able to retire minor league bats. I always thought Chacin was cool. I always thought flowers was pretty, too.

Starter for Pawtucket was the dashing Tony Pena and his semi-effective repertoire. Pena pitched seven innings and only gave up one run on six hits, and not one of them was a hit by Josh Satin. Responsible for the RBI was Val Pascucci, of course. Pascucci hit an RBI double in the first inning. Buffalo never scored again that night.

Pat Misch got the start for the Bisons, and this morning it occurred to me that maybe I'd seen Misch in CT. I looked it up and YES! Misch was in the Giants org and he pitched for the Connecticut Defenders when they were the Giants Double-A team that I took for granted. Misch's start was not a disaster - He got a couple of outs in the sixth inning, but his pitch count was up to 110. Typical Mets-style start for some hapless triple-A guy.

Pawtucket first got to Misch in the second inning. Brent Dlugach hit a two-run homer to bring the score to 2-1. Center fielder Che-Hsuan Lin led the third inning off with a walk and then Lowrie hit an RBI double to make it 3-1.

With two outs in the sixth inning, Brett Carroll and Hector Luna hit back-to back doubles to make it 4-1. Misch tried to get that last out afterthat, but Nava singled and it was not to be. Taylor Tankersley took control of the situation and got Dlugach to line out to end the inning.

Okay, now we get to Gustavo Chacin and the most important thing. Bottom of the eighth and Chacin's in for Tankersley. Also, Bisons catcher Mike Nickeas has taken over the nine hole for Luis Hernandez, who came in to pinch hit for Raul Chavez in the top of the inning. This doesn't really figure into the story, but maybe some people out there dig Mike Nickeas.

Chacin struck out Hector Luna to get the ball rolling. Nava and Dlugach then hit back-to-back singles for Ronald Bermudez, who's got a fair amount of doubles in his pants for a light-hitting outfielder. And Bermudez doubled! Two runs scored and it was 6-1.

Chacin then walked Lin. Jed Lowrie... You know, I looked at Lowrie's 2008 numbers in Pawtucket and they are not that impressive. However, in this situation Lowrie hit a fly ball to right for a ground-rule double, scoring Bermudez but not Lin.

Lavarnway was up next and Chacin gave him the old IBB so he could face the better odds of the lefty, Lars Anderson. It worked! Anderson grounded into a double play!

Not really. Anderson responded by hitting his 13th home run of the season to right center. Grand slam. I'm sure Chili Davis clapped the loudest and embraced Anderson the most tightly.

What a buzzkill for Chacin. He got the hook so Brian Sweeney could come out of the bullpen and regulate, and that's exactly what he did. Sweeney got Carroll and Luna out.

Royce Ring came out for the ninth and managed not to blow the ten run lead. MANNY DELCARMEN AND CRAIG HANSEN.

Too bad Kalish had to miss all this.

migajas:
1. Informal scouting report on Tony Pena:

Pena has been a solid, if unspectacular relief pitcher for us the last several seasons. This has been a disappointment, because Pena was considered by many in the Arz organization to be the closer of the future. When he first came up, his fastball sat at around 96-97. It now sits at around 93-94. The loss in velocity has been troubling, but not devistating, as his slider is his out pitch. And that slider is NASTY. Also throws a change, which is really nothing more than a set up pitch. His control is iffy. He can come in and be hit his spots, and the next night he couldnt hit the side of a barn. His control was less of an issue when he was throwing 97, but with the loss of a few mph, control becomes that much more important.

I always got nervous when Pena entered a close game. He has never in his career been the take charge, no nonsense reliever. I read a post above as to why Pena was never given a shot as closer in Az. Thats because he simply doesn't have the mentality for it. His biggest weakness is his menal toughness or lack there of. He lets a high % of inherrited runners to score, and has a tendency to be a thrower rather than a pitcher in tight spots, which leads to alot of trouble.

2. Jed Lowrie hit three doubles last night. After the game he did mention that aside from working out/seeing pitches/getting quality AB's, he was trying to help out the team. I was WAITING for him to say that! If he didn't I would have found him and frozen his head.
3. Val Pascucci is second in the IL for RBI.
4. Bermudez and Nava both went 3-3. The only Red Sox player without a hit was Lin, who did walk a couple of times. Luis Exposito DNP.

This afternoon, weather permitting, Chris Schwinden will pitch with a purpose for Buffalo. Kyle Weiland goes for Pawtucket. The team's only a half game behind Lehigh Valley for the division lead, so let's get excited. Or... Boston makes the playoffs and rips away Pawtucket's best, leaving the team edentate and listless and with no chance in the IL Playoffs.

IDAWAHIO!!!

8.5.11 Red Sox v Bisons - His Name Happens to be Brett

2011-08-06T07:13:00.002-04:00

Pawtucket won, 6-5. I came perilously close to skipping this game, as I got BLOWN OFF, but I ate a burrito and calmed down.

Starting pitcher for Pawtucket was Kevin Millwood, who's making all kinds of new friends in Rhode Island. Also, I recommend looking at Millwood's various salaries over the years and see how bad you feel for him. Hey, Kev, I live in a dying, bankrupt city in a sweltering tenement. What can you do for me?

Millwood had a thorny first inning, getting stung for two runs by Val Pascucci's two-run homer. What can you do, it's Pascucci. He's like Mike Hessman! Millwood cruised through 2-4, gave up a couple of singles in the fifth, and then another pair of runs in the sixth to tie the game, 4-4.

However, Pascucci was not the only first baseman to hit a home run in the first inning. Miguel Batista of the Virginia Batistas started for Buffalo, and Anderson got him for a solo shot. Add that to Che-Hsuan Lin getting ground-balled home after a double and you see the two runs, there.

The Red Sox scored a third run in the second inning thanks to a hit, a walk, and a couple of errors. In the third, Nate Spears led off with a walk, scooted over to third on a couple of groundouts, and scored when Brett Carroll hit an infield single. 4-2 Pawtucket!

Things went curiously awry when Hideki Okajima entered the game to relieve Millwood. I mean, it was cute and everything at first as Okajima got everyone to fly out in the seventh, but shit got real in the eighth. Okajima walked third baseman Josh Satin with one out. Okay. And then, ugh, beloved outfielder (DH this night) Fernando Martinez doubled to right, where the new kid was playing. And for the second time, Brett Carroll looked like Chris Carter out there, just completely in the wrong spot and chasing after the ball like a dope. Satin scores! 5-4 Bisons! Brett Carroll ruins Christmas!

Pawtucket had opportunities prior to the ninth inning: Two on for Carroll in the fifth, but he grounded out. Gustavo Chacin walking half the park in the seventh, but weak deliveries by Anderson and Carroll. Enter Dale Thayer to close the game out for Buffalo. Che-Hsuan led off the ninth with a single. Oh, wow! Cool! I love it when hope is sustained and not extinguished! Thayer got Nate Spears to strike out and then it was Jed Lowrie, who is not at all interesting or fat. Lowrie had not gotten a hit all night and I had him pegged for the second out, but Lowrie hit a single. Not that he cares. In many ways, Lowrie has never left Pawtucket. They named an omelet after him at the diner!

With two on and one out, Lin at third ready to race race race home, Anderson approached the bench. Thayer K's Anderson! AAUGH!

And so your Pawtucket Red Sox Last Chance was Brett Carroll and his plummeting stock. Carroll singled to right, though, scoring Lin AND Lowrie... Well, Tony Thomas, who pinch ran for Lowrie because he's strong and fast and Lowrie's fragile like silken kimono. You should have seen Thomas run! He looked like a football player heading for end zone glory! Brett Carroll was duly assaulted in the head area and Hyder couldn't wait to get his hands on him. I was so happy. All is forgiven, Brett Carroll. FOR NOW. Today you get to be the happiest girl in the whole USA.

the patching of Lin's uniform pants was the greatest baseball tailoring hack job I have ever seen:
1. Miguel Batista? Kevin Millwood? Gustavo Chacin? Dale Thayer? That is some pedigreed pitching right there.
2. Chili Davis was not immediately available for comment after Lars Anderson's home run.
3. Daniel Nava got a couple of hits, too. Nava's not exactly a thrill at the plate, but at least he doesn't make an ass of himself in left.
4. Millwood gave up a couple of singles in the fifth, but the infield turned a tight little 4-6-3 to snuff that out. It was a very well executed DP. Uh huh huh huh. Heh heh, hmm. Yeah.
5. Jason Rice also pitched. Tony Pena flipped off Kyle Weiland in the stands. Like a brother! Don't you flip off your brothers? I know I do. My sisters, too.
6. And your mom.
7. Spears, Iglesias, Carroll and Lin each stole a base. WHAT NOW, DUSTY RYAN?
8. Brett Carroll was DFA'd by the Brewers, opted to be a FA, and was scooped up by Boston. Yes, I do know what DFA means. And I know what a FA is. 'DTAMFS' I am still struggling with.
9. I had never heard of Josh Satin until recently, but he's been a beast with Buffalo. He's been a Bison. He fought in a war and left his friends behind him.
10. Drew Sutton is on the DL. Dlugach is not on the DL as far as I can tell, but he is not playing. If you dressed Dlugach in drag, I think he'd be a fairly attractive lady. You really can't say that about a lot of PawSox players.
11. So what's going to happen with Bermudez?

TONIGHT! Hoo, boy. Tony Pena and Pat Misch. There's a giveaway, I reckon. Maybe a sexy hat?

I love you.

8.4.11 Pawtucket Red Sox v Buffalo Bisons - Excited

2011-08-05T13:11:00.003-04:00

Buffalo WINS! 5-4 in ten innings. Michael Bowden takes the loss.

The evening began with poster night and I sort of didn't want to go, but I did because I feel a little obligated. The worst part of poster night is witnessing the utter boredom and disinterest the players display, almost in totality. Especially Mr Crabby, Che-Hsuan Lin. It certainly is a hardship, sitting at a folding table for 60 minutes and, uh, having to SIGN STUFF and TALK TO PEOPLE.

That being said, Kevin Millwood was great and engaging and really seemed to make a sincere effort to be a good guy. Did you know that Kevin Millwood is on the PawSox, still blowing my mind?

And... It kills me to say this, but Lars Anderson was wonderful and friendly and did a great job. I thought that was very nice of him. I really hate it when people aren't one-dimensional!

Okay, Brandon Duckworth. Duckworth seemed to have a few problems during his five-inning appearance, even though ultimately he only gave up the one run. Duckworth threw 92 pitches, 53 for strikes.

Let's talk about the fourth inning, the money inning. Second base honey Josh Satin led off with a double, then Duckworth walked Pascucci and Martinez. Lavarnway had to take a walk to the mound and share a few words with BD. Duckworth got Nick Evans to strike out, but daywalker Jesus Feliciano singled, scoring Satin.

Okay, it's getting late. Did I mention Dylan Owen? No? He's thick through his ass and hips. Oh, he started for Buffalo, too.

my special day was special:
1. Here's how Bowden got on his knees and blew it: Fernando Martinez led the tenth off with a line drive double. Then two consecutive singles scored Martinez. Martinez ran home like a schoolgirl. Anderson led off the bottom of the inning with a single, but no one drove him in. Nava made the last out, thanks a lot.
2. Also, Nava's not batting second anymore. He's batting leadoff! No, not really. Lower. Much lower. Exposito lower.
3. I did get to see Lowrie work a little bit, and he's pretty smooth at short. I'll give him that. You would think I'd remember his time in Pawtucket.
4. Clevelan Santeliz gave up three runs.

One last thing, I guess. Miguel Batista was in the stands charting pitches. Just, like, sitting there. I have no idea what happened, I think I blacked out, but I got up and went and sat in his row. My intent was to get up between innings and slide past him in a rather skeevy fashion, but I chickened out and wound up leaving. I usually try not to be gross or perve on baseball players (Not that hard, most of them are not at all cute or interesting), but Miguel Batista is especially magnetic. I was shocked that no one noticed him or approached him. I really liked his shirt. Shut up!

Baby Lars Anderson knows hard times.

2011-08-05T00:54:00.001-04:00

"Do yourself a favor, man, and watch 'Anvil: The Story of Anvil.' It really helped me through some shit."

Airport, schmairport.

2011-08-04T13:36:00.002-04:00

1. Jason Varitek - "Varitek Schmaritek, you take David Ortiz, period. Maybe Manny Ramirez."

2. Pedro Martinez - "Pedro schmedro, the big question is, are we going to have a Halladay this summer."

3. Johnny Damon - "ahhhh...an Damon schmamon..0-4. haa. he's a beestard..yesterday I watched the yankee game and they interviewed him and he said he hits homers cause "chicks dig it"...ghay.."

4. Manny Ramirez - "Manny Schmanny. He’s an overpaid loafer with really bad hair whose only accomplishment may be to break the career record for grand slams, set by a true American hero (and Yank!) That makes me sad. You will never see Ramirez in the Hall."

5. Kevin Youkilis - "Swishy needs all the votes he can get. Youkilis, schmoukilis!"

6. Tim Wakefield - "Live music with Breaker Breaker and Wakefield Schmakefield"

7. Curt Schilling - "Schilling, Schmilling. I had to pitch against the Yankees in knee deep snow. With no shoes on. And I mean the whole nine innings, not 4 or 5 innings like you youngsters today."

8. David Ortiz - "Ortiz -Schmoritz and all the others of his ilk. The thinning of pitching talent available for active duty in the MLB is so obvious.
For hitters the environment is paradisiacal."

8.2.11 Goodly Bats corrupted by Heretical Socks

2011-08-03T07:17:00.003-04:00

Jason Rice WINS! 4-3 in a day game that did not feature Brent Dlugach, who's been in and out of the lineup. Dlugach could be dead for all I know.

Matt Fox got the start for Pawtucket. He pitched however many innings a guy like Fox pitches in triple-A. He struck out nine batters, which has to be a season high for him. Jeremy Hermida wasn't having it, though, and hit two home runs off him. Hermida was on the PawSox last year but if there wasn't internet evidence of it I would say, No way. I'm sure I would remember Jeremy Hermida on the PawSox.

Righty Scott Carroll got the start for the Louisville Bats. When he faced Jed Lowrie in the first inning, Lowrie singled to right. And then Anderson hit a home run, so Pawtucket was up 2-0 before people could even think about their second beer. Hermida's homers tied the game up 2-2 until the ninth inning, when Mike Costanzo hit a sac fly to score catcher Devin Mesoraco. Hideki Okajima was the recipient of that run, not that he cared much.

Could it be curtains for the Red Sox? Carlos Fisher came in to close the game, got a couple of outs but walked Lin. And then Nate Spears got the devil in him. Spears hit a two-run homer and crammed a win down everyone's throats. Game over, thanks.

in my dreams you are alive and breathing:
1. Kinda sucks for Hermida that he hit two home runs with nothing to show for it except impressive biceps and a tanned, athletic physique. Does he still have that stupid beard?
2. I looked it up: Hermida certainly struck out a lot with Pawtucket!
3. Scott Atchison also pitched and Jason Rice got the win.
4. Three stolen bases for Pawtucket! WHAT NOW DEVIN MESORACO?!
5. Three double plays for Pawtucket! Jose Iglesias, you charming imp!
6. Ryan Lavarnway entered the game in the seventh inning. Lavarnway's cooling like pie on a windowsill.
7. Nate Spears said a nice thing about his teammate: "That was a great at-bat by Lin, if he doesn't do that, I don't have the opportunity," said Spears of his eighth home run of the season." (Attleboro man Peter Gobis)
8. Should Hermida return to the majors? 'Scouting the Sally' blog's Mike Newman wants to tell you all about it.
9. I linked to this JT gent before. Here on 'The Writer's Journey' he speaks briefly of Hermida.
10. JT's bio reads: "Music lover, occasional writer, wishing he had immeasurable wealth so he didn't have to work a "real job." Holy crap, this guy is my male counterpart!
11. Hermida pops up in some story headlined "Bats Clip Red Wings In Series Finale". IF I EVER START CRANKING OUT LAME, BIG MEDIA BULLSHIT HEADLINES LIKE THAT JUST SHOOT ME ALREADY. I fucking hate that crap. Can we all agree that those stupid sports puns are tired, tired, tired? Why can't everyone collectively agree to make this stuff go away? DONNIE COLLINS I KNOW YOU HEAR ME!!!
12. And finally, forum member 'Bates1343' had this to say in a post titled 'Digging up old players to fill roster spots':

Pawtucket and Portland cant keep up this pace of having a light bench. Besides Jed coming in on rehab, who else is going to fill these roster spots? What will it take for the Reds to hand Jorge Jimenez over for the rest of the year. They stuck him at High-A when we had him in AAA. Jeff Corsaletti was always a great hitter, but I hear he retired. Jeff Natale was a great defensive infielder. Iggy Suarez anyone? Have a good night

I only included this because I laughed and laughed when I read it.

Tonight! Pawtucket Red Sox get krunk because there is no game. Or, more likely, they got wasted LAST night because they knew they could sleep late today. I'll bet they went DOWNTOWN, probably to some lame, vacuous dress code club that plays bad, endless house music. I'll bet Nate Spears hangs out in the VIP section, because you know that guy totally would.

HERMIDA!!!!!

8.1.11 Red Sox v Bats - Edinson Volquez Night

2011-08-02T06:43:00.002-04:00

Jordan Smith, oh, no. Pawtucket WINS! 4-3, just when you thought it was over.

Kyle Weiland gave up two home runs, just to get that out of the way. There is no way around it, the kid gave up two home runs. Daniel Dorn, who I swear used to be 'Danny' Dorn, hit one of them. Chris Valaika the other. Weiland used less than 100 pitches during his seven innings, giving up three runs on seven hits. Five strikeouts! One walk! Not bad.

The incredible, edible Edinson Volquez shoulda had this in the bag for Louisville, but Jordan Smith crapped all over his decent start. Volquez gave up two runs in seven innings, both of them solo home runs (Exposito, Luna). He struck out six PawSox schmucks, too. Volquez was heading for a win, although I'm sure he knew the risks of keeping it. It's triple-A, after all.

The Bats were ahead 3-2 going into the bottom of the ninth. Jordan Smith was in trying to get the save. Nate Spears led off with a single, advanced to second on a groundout. And then Dlugach popped out, so it was looking pretty good. Next up was Bermudez, but Nava was pinch hitting. He's a switch hitter and Bermudez is a righty and Jordan Smith is a righty, but you knew that. And Daniel Nava walked.

Jordan Smith, big kid from Utah who's made it to the big leagues, lover of animals, friend to the aliens, trying to get the last out hit Che-Hsuan Lin with a pitch. I have to laugh a little about that. You just have to cringe for everyone involved. Bases loaded for Tony Thomas! No, it was in fact Jose Iglesias, who entered the game after Jed Lowrie had put in his hard three innings.

Jordan Smith walked Iglesias, bringing Nate Spears across to tie the game. And then he walked Lavarnway to walk in the winning run. What the hell happened out there? One of the least exciting ways to win a game, that's what I say.

Reliever Michael Bowden got the win. One of these days I am going to sit down and talk about Bowden, but that day is not today.

down by the riverside:
1. Tommy Hottovy also pitched.
2. Outside of the lefty/righty thing, is Bermudez so different from Nava? Just think about that for a minute. I'll wait.
3. Jed Lowrie is rehabbing in Pawtucket. Again. Like, the minute he walks into the door at the donut shop in Pawtucket they say, "Oh, hi. Large regular, right?"
4. Jed Lowrie is so unbearably boring. I can't believe he is still hanging around. Just get rid of him, seriously.
5. HA! Attleboro's Peter Gobis titled his game story "Lowrie no stranger in Pawtucket".
6. CF Denis Phipps went 3-4. People love his arm, too. Phipps is a very recent call-up and there's so much buzz.

This afternoon! All my plans are ruined! I didn't know it was a day game so I organized an outing that went up in smoke because people have to, like, work and stuff. But Scott Carroll's pitching for Louisville and Matt Fox for Pawtucket so if you can sneak out... Don't. Yesterday's matchup was much more interesting.

DENIS PHIPPS!!!!

7.31.2011 Pawtucket Red Sox v Louisville Bats - Alcoholism

2011-08-01T07:06:00.002-04:00

Louisville Bats win, Pawtucket deserved to lose. The Bats got 17 hits. Dave Chappelle got four hits. Mike Costanzo got three. Final score 7-2, although it could have been, maybe should have been worse. Louisville left 11 runners on base and the clutchiest Bats that ever clutched were Dave Sappelt (CF), Corky Miller (AA), and Jeremy Hermida (VD). All those guys came up with two outs and batted someone in.

I am going to attempt to untangle all the numbers. Tony Pena got the start for the Red Sox, went five innings and gave up four runs on nine hits, including a home run by Jose Castro that happened only in Pena's paranoid little mind.

Starting for Louisville was Daryl Thompson, a righty and a model train enthusiast. Thompson was damn good, getting into the seventh inning with 105 pitches, only giving up the one run. Thompson struck out Spears, Iglesias (twice), Bermudez, Anderson, Lin, and Exposito. YEAH!

Pawtucket scored their first run in the first inning, when Che-Hsuan Lin led off with a walk, stole second, advanced to third on a balk, scooted over to fourth on a passed ball, and got to fifth on a wild pitch. And then Lavarnway batted Lin over for the 1-0 lead.

The second run? How much time do you have, because it came much later in the eighth inning. Lavarnway doubled, stole third, and then told Hector Luna to go ahead and hit a lame-ass infield single, just to prove he could score on that shit.

Pena's relief corps consisted of Santeliz, Ring, and Rice. The Bats gave us Vandy stud Nick Christiani and Jeremy Horst, who is not a stud of any sort.

you eat all that dog food yourself?
1. It was Ryan Lavarnway's first PawSox stolen base. And only his third, professionally. Christiani must have no game at all and Corky Miller must have been half asleep.
2. Brendan McGair gets into Lavarnway's steal a little bit more.
3. Because the Providence paper cannot write about Lars Anderson without including some Chili Davis quotes about his hitting progress... Here you go. Shit happens, Anderson.
4. DAVE SAPPELT EXCLUSIVE SEX TAPE!!! Minus sex and probably also minus tape.

TONIGHT! More Louisville Bats and more Danny Dorn. And if you're intrigued by the mysterious Edinson Volquez, well, tonight is your night. Kyle Weiland will oppose. Should be a good crowd, with one exception.

Chili Davis, what do you think of that?

Daniel's Den and Dugout

2011-07-30T08:46:00.003-04:00

Can I just point you in the direction of this entertaining blog? It's about the Red Sox and the Bruins, of both Boston and Rhode Island varieties.

It's on the, uh, literary side. That's for sure. But I certainly enjoyed the PawSox material.

Us Rhode Island kidz gotta stick together, is what I say. Hope!

7.29.11 Split

2011-07-30T06:53:00.002-04:00

Okay, I will take it. Pawtucket wins, 4-3, splitting the series with Lehigh Valley and now the standings are... the same? Yes, Red Sox two games out of first in their division and a half game ahead of Durham for the wild card.

Starting pitcher for Pawtucket was Brandon Pawtuckworth.

I am so tired and I don't really feel like doing this.

Alright, onward. Duckworth pitched five innings, gave up three runs. But you really have to give it up for the relievers, who held that one-run lead for the rest of the game. Go ahead and buy yourself a new purse, Ring, Royce, Hottovy, and Atchison. I read it in a magazine that you should give yourself little rewards. And also how to get sexy beach hair.

Starting pitcher for Lehigh Valley was Brian Bass, who you may remember from the Red Wings or the Indians (IL). Or maybe you don't remember him. Bass' line is nearly identical to Duckworth's, what with the five innings and three runs. Unfortunately for Bass, Les Walrond kind of blew it in the sixth.

Why don't we start at a very good place to start? In the first inning, Anderson hit an RBI single to give Pawtucket a 1-0 lead. In the bottom of the second, right fielder Delwyn Young doubled off Duckworth and was batted in by Josh Barfield, who I truly thought was going to be a force in the big leagues. A small force, but a force just the same. Sorry, I was really into the Padres for a while.

In the top of the fourth, with Hector Luna on first, Nate Spears and Luis Exposito hit back-to-back doubles. 3-1 Red Sox, but only for a moment and then the moment was gone. Bottom half of the fourth, the IronPigs went single single single to load the bases with no outs. GET EMBREE IN! A groundout and a sac fly brought home a couple of runners. Tie game, 4-4.

In the top of the sixth inning, Luis Exposito doubled and Jose Iglesias hit an RBI single to give the Red Sox the 4-3 lead, which they gripped tightly until the final out. Which was recorded by Atchison, probably very quickly, so bravo, sir.

And now the PawSox come home, so please spread your wings and let them come inside.

Two things:
1. I get the impression that Phillies fans really dug Duckworth.
2. HA! I was right about Atchison: He retired the side in the ninth with four pitches. EL MERO MERO.
3. "Pawtucket took a 1-0 lead in the first inning when Lin Chen-Hsuan led off with an infield single and two outs later scored when Lars Anderson smashed a single down the right field line." Darling little story, Tom Hinkel, but CHEN-Hsuan?
4. "Pawtucket pitcher Brandon Duckworth tested Polanco's back at one point, throwing one up and in, forcing him to twist and duck out of the way." WHAT?! That was intentional!!!
5. Ryan Lavarnway did not get a hit and he struck out twice. Luis Exposito went 2-4 with two doubles. I'll bet Exposito's feeling smug.
6. Lin stole a couple of bases. He does not lead the team in SB as you might think. That would be Tony Thomas, who is evidently kicking it with Brent Dlugach on Zach Daeges' yacht.
7. IronPigs manager Ryne Sandberg sez: ""Overback took a great swing on the ball that I thought had a chance to be a double or a home run or something [but] came up short of the wall. If you look at all the woulda-coulda's, we hit some balls hard to the outfield right down to Frandsen's at the end to right for the final out."

Wait, isn't it Overbeck and not Overback?

Are you fucking kidding me? HOW DO YOU NOT SPELL THE PLAYERS' NAMES CORRECTLY? Isn't this your JOB? Are you not being PAID? And I see this all the time! How stupid can you be? It's not like you have to spell hockey players' names, either. I'm so disgusted by this half-assery. Is it really too much to ask? SEAN MCADAM ALWAYS GOT IT RIGHT.

TONIGHT!!! It's Heather versus Lacey with their parents in town! Also, Pawtucket's back at McCoy and they're sooooo mad at the Louisville Bats. It'll be Millwood and Travis Wood. No sign of Sandy Madera, unfortunately.

PS Please enjoy this picture of Royce Ring and a baby. The look on the baby's face kind of says it all.

7.27.2011 Roy Oswalt? Okay, now that's just cheating!

2011-07-28T06:58:00.002-04:00

Ryan Edell WINS! 4-1 last night over the Pawtucket Red Sox. Consarn it! Now they're four games up!

Starting pitcher for the Red Sox was Kyle Weiland, back from the void. Weiland doled out five walks in four innings, throwing 82 pitches. He gave up three earned runs, including a home run by Delwyn Young. Weiland took the loss because his teammates evidently didn't feel like hitting the ball or getting runners over. Oh, and also, Weiland hit Rich Thompson with a pitch with the bases loaded and then walked in another run in the third. Ugly.

And then over there for the home team was Roy Oswalt and his folk wisdom. They tried to make him to go to rehab and he said, why, yes, that certainly seems sensible. Perhaps Boston could spare us a little John Lackey?

On second thought, you can keep Lackey. Roy Oswalt only gave up one run through four innings, which was a solo home run by Anderson. Reliever and MILF Ryan Edell had his work cut out for him, but he pitched 3 2/3 innings and got five strikeouts. And then enormous Canadian Phillippe Aumont kept the scoreless run alive and finished the game, getting the save for Lehigh Valley. Good job, IronPigs relief.

Clevelan Santeliz and Michael Bowden also pitched, but...

two things:
1. Oswalt was behind Anderson 2-0 when he threw a change-up in for a strike and "He he put the barrel on it."
2. Lady Gaga is certainly full of surprises! She comments "Oswalt to Houston with D Brown for Pence" on Jeff Schuler's Hog Blog.
3. Tom Hinkel says there was a pitcher's duel between Santeliz and Edell. Okay.
4. I'm sure you're familiar with Charley Kerfeld, Steve Noworyta, and Mike Ondo? None of them commented on Oswalt's performance. (With video!)
5. A comment from 'The Horn and Bell': "Poor Provence… so busy with Os and Polly, he doesn’t notice Aumont came in… thought he was DeFratus!" Yeah! I know!
6. "I think my pitches looked a little different to them than Roy's," Edell said with a grin. "I'm left-handed and a little bit slower." Yes, but was it a sexy grin? And do you want a man with a slow hand?
7. I also love in the above article that there's a picture of, I think, Delwyn Young but the caption talks about Oswalt.

This morning in Allentown! Matt Fox opposed by Scott Mathieson. There had better be bloodshed. I wanna see Hector Luna show some muscle, I wanna see Ronald Bermudez get after it, I want Lin to get on base at an alarming clip. I want heavenly relief and I want Scott Mathieson to rue the day he was born a Frankenstein.

If I were playing ball this early, I wouldn't get to sleep at a reasonable hour. I would just go out and get wasted the night before. Fuck it.

7.27.11 Lehigh Valley IronPigs did not lose.

2011-07-27T11:37:00.002-04:00

Why is 'IronPigs' one word? I hate it! I hate it!

Tony Pena gave up five runs, Pawtucket got more hits, but LV got more runs.

Nate Spears hit his seventh home run of the season. Brandon Moss went 3-5 with three RBI. Brandon Moss is very cute.

Pawtucket was in the lead until the eighth inning, when LV scored a run to tie it. Scott Atchison was The Reliever Who Blew It.

Game goes to extras, Jason Rice gets the job. Rice blows it even harder, takes home the L. 8-7 Pigs. Josh Barfield walks it off, wins for all Pennsylvanians in attendance.

Left fielder Daniel Nava went 4-5. Ryan Lavarnway batted in four runs, because he is the Red Sox God of Smash. Everybody in the PawSox lineup got a hit. (woohoo)

Luis Exposito was caught stealing, picked off, and twice came up to bat with RISP, two outs and failed to deliver.

Che-Hsuan Lin went 2-6 and made his third error of the season.

LV DH Tagg Bozied went 0-4 with three K's.

Reliever Michael Schwimer got the win for L. Valley.

here, read this:
1. Kevin Pereira, Examiner.
2. Michael LoRe, Express-Times. Aggression.
3. "I can not overstate the atmosphere at the park tonight. It was playoff baseball. The first and second place teams duking it out late in the season. The fans roared for every positive moment and it felt like The Coke was shaking when Frandsen scored the winning run. Incredible!" - Terrific stuff from The Horn and Bell blog.
4. Matt from 'Bacon and Biscuits' is equally excited.

Now I must go get ready.

7.25.11 In Buffalo

2011-07-26T08:55:00.002-04:00

Buffalo finally wins, 8-7. This game was like, a 2002 matchup between the Marlins and the Astros.

Let's start with Kevin Millwood, who really dug in and tried. He threw 102 pitches! Millwood gave up five runs on seven hits through five innings.

Starter for Buffalo was Miguel Batista. Batista went six and gave up two runs, including a solo home run by Nate Spears. He also racked up nine strikeouts.

Here's what happened, exactly, and I'm gonna break it down to avoid confusion. I'll start with Nate Spears hitting a solo home run in the top of the first. That put the Red Sox up 1-0 until the bottom of the first, when left fielder Jason Botts hit a two-run double to give Buffalo the lead.

Batista got everyone out in the second inning, but in the third Lars Anderson hit an RBI double to tie the game.

Bottom of the fourth, Millwood still in. Third baseman Joshua Satin hit a one-out single. Millwood threw four balls to Feliciano. Two on, one out. And then Satin to third on a fly out. Catcher Mike Nickeas took a walk to load the bases with two outs. And then Luis Figueroa hit a two-run single. Are you kidding me with this guy? 4-2 Buffalo!

The Bisons added another run to their score in the fifth, courtesy of a Satin RBI single.

And now we approach the later innings. Bisons up 5-2. Top of the seventh. Gustavo Chacin takes over for Batista and really, where did the Mets dig him up? Chacin immediately got the first two PawSox out, but then Jose Iglesias decided it would be a good time to hit his fifth double of the season. And Ronald Bermudez, playing center for Che-Hsuan Lin, batted him in with a line drive to center. 5-3!

Bottom of the seventh. Tommy Hottovy is providing thus far adequate relief. I'm sure he was dreading the appearance of Val Pascucci, and for good reason: Scooch hit a two-run homer! OH YEAH CUE THE VAL PASCUCCI SONG!!!!!

So Pawtucket's down 7-3. And it's the eighth inning. Doesn't look good. But Pawtucket led off with back-to-back singles and then Anderson reached on an error. Bases loaded, no outs. And Gustavo Chacin on the hill. Chacin's response to the mayhem was to throw a wild pitch, scoring Nava from third. And Hector Luna said 'fuck it' and swung at the next pitch, HARD. HOME RUN!!!! Three runs! Tie game! HECTOR LUNA!

So Chacin did not, in fact, get the next three outs. He was replaced by Brian Sweeney, who wound up getting the win because of Royce Ring. Royce Ring is on the PawSox now, and I'm sure he wanted to make a good impression. It did not really work, because he gave up the game winning hit for Buffalo.

Ronald Bermudez got on base to lead off the ninth and it would have been cute if, say, Daniel Nava homered, but nothing happened. That's okay. Leave the Bisons with a little dignity. It's really fun, too, to avoid the sweep and get a win in the last game of the series.

Dale Thayer pitched the ninth and got the save. FIN.

two things:
1. I don't know who Keith McShea is, but he's got a dope leadoff: "If major league veterans Miguel Batista and Kevin Millwood ever meet up and trade stories about the night they pitched against each other in Triple-A in Buffalo, they'll have plenty to talk about.

It'll be the game which started with a helicopter landing and taking off in center field, the one in which Batista outdueled his fellow veteran by striking out nine before leaving with a three-run lead after six innings, and the one that was ultimately decided in a zany last two frames."

2. Kool Kid Kevin P breaks it down Rhody-style right here.
3. Luis Exposito was ejected from the game. He was later seen sobbing in the shower, clutching himself and sliding down the wall.
4. Royce Ring, IL Repeat offender: The Tides, the Braves, the Yankees. And now the Red Sox. Next stop: the Chiefs!
5. Gustavo Chacin is new to the org. He was released by the Astros a couple of weeks ago.
6. A fan's reaction to Royce Ring being released: "Noooo Royce Ring got released, das not cool as i got bunch of photo’s that i wanted him to signed, waited yesterday after the game but didn’t see him come out of the lockeroom." I don't normally do this, but LOL.
7. "We wanted to create that environment. A lot of young guys don’t understand that winning is a habit. It is an attitude that you need to take out there. You just don’t go out there to play. You go out there to win," Batista bench-coached after the game. (from Bisons Blog)
8. Peter Duffy from The Real Dirty: "Kevin Millwood! Miguel Bautista! It’s the marquee matchup of 2001! As an added bonus, the Herd brought in Gustavo Chacin out of the bullpen while the Paw Sox countered with former Met great Royce Ring. Runelvys Hernandez wanted to know if he could play. Rueben Tejada still only had one hit." That absolutely could have been something I wrote, except I would have spelled the players' names correctly. I mean, come on.

Okay, I gotta roll out. TONIGHT IN OMG THE MOST IMPORTANT INTERGALACTIC GAME! Tony Pena. Oh. Plus IronPigs and Ryan Feierabend. Hey, wait, I saw this game already! The PawSox lose even though Lavarnway homers! Screw that, I'm gonna watch a Bret Michaels reality show!

It was July 24th when it all came down.

2011-07-25T07:00:00.002-04:00

Pawtucket Red Sox/Buffalo Bisons. Result: 7-6 Red Sox. Everybody was so happy.

Jeremy Kehrt, an Indiana farm boy, got the start in the Felix Hole. Kehrt threw 65 pitches through four innings, giving up three runs on three hits. Mysterious righty Clevelan Santeliz jumped into the fray in the fifth inning and pitched a pair, giving up a fourth run. Hideki Okajima also wrangled a couple of innings, but it wasn't especially clean. Okajima gave up a two-run homer to third baseman Joshua Satin in the eighth.

Buffalo has precious little success against Pawtucket, and yesterday was no exception. Dylan Owen got the start. You remember Owen, right? He's the sexy one. Owen worked and worked with his 97 pitches, getting all the way into the seventh inning. He left the game with a 4-3 lead and then they brought in the lefty for Daniel Nava. A switch hitter. Nava hit an RBI single to tie the game. Blown save for reliever Michael O'Connor!

But wait! How did everything get so effed up for the Bisons? You wanna talk about home runs? Our good friend Tony Thomas hit a two-run homer in the second to put Pawtucket on the board 2-0. In the bottom of the third, though, center fielder Fernando Perez singled and stole second. Then DH and leadoff hitter and erstwhile Pawtucket scoundrel Luis Figueroa drew a walk with two outs. Right fielder Jesus Feliciano was up next and... Not sure what happened except Anderson made an error and Feliciano reached safely. Perez scored! 2-1!

But wait, more stuff happens! Val Pascucci, massive slugger, took it upon himself to hit a two run double to give Buffalo the 3-2 lead!

Luis Exposito hit a solo home run in the top of the fourth to tie the game. It was his sixth of the season. Sister Ectoplasma, she's incredulous.

Then the home run that Okajima gave up made it 6-4 with the Red Sox on the losing end.

Dale Thayer came in to close the game out in the ninth. You remember Dale Thayer? Thayer did not do his job. He did not give the other fellas hell. Ronald Bermudez led the inning off with a double. Bermudez advanced to third on a Che-Hsuan Lin fly out and scored on a sac fly by Nava. Tie game! Poor Dale Thayer.

And then things went right down the toilet for Thayer. He walked Lavarnway. Maybe on purpose, who can say? It didn't end up working out because Lars Anderson came from out of nowhere and hit a two-run homer, effectively winning the game for Pawtucket. I can never tell what Anderson is going to do during any given game. I mean, Ronald Bermudez is not too thrilling, but he is consistent. You know what you're gonna get with Ronnie. Anderson is a wild card.

Jason Rice pitched the ninth inning, keeping it scoreless and beautiful and cute.

cry me a river but just take me home:
1. The Buffalo Baseball Hall of Fame inducted Tony Pena. His son, Pena Jr, accepted the honor on behalf of his dad yesterday. Okay, that's really cool.
2. Che-Hsuan Lin went 0-5. I'm sure some porn will make him feel better.

Tonight! More Buffalo meat in a Battle of the Olds! Beatnik righty Miguel Batista will get after it v Kevin Millwood. Should be wily and crafty and veterany. I say that, but how bad do I wanna go to this game? BAD.

7.23.2011 Buffaloco

2011-07-24T08:37:00.002-04:00

PawSox win, 4-1.

Brandon Duckworth started for Pawtucket, pitched 6 2/3, and gave up zero runs on six hits. Duckworth gets the win! Tommy Hottovy came in to relieve Duckworth, gave up the only Buffalo run. Shoot, it happens.

Starting pitcher for Buffalo was lefty Mark Cohoon. Cohoon was handling his shit, keeping the Red Sox scoreless until the sixth inning, when his empire started crumbling. Cohoon loaded the bases up with no outs for Jose Iglesias, who hit a two-run single. Jose? OUR Jose? Good job, Concussion Boy.

Iglesias scored later in the inning on a sac fly by Nate Spears. By that time, Jose De La Torre was pitching and Cohoon was likely steaming in the dugout.

Pawtucket scored their fourth run in the seventh, when Tony Thomas led off with a single and scooted around the bases on a wild pitch, an error, and a force out.

And the Buffalo run? Catcher Mike Nickeas hit a solo home run to left center. But was it majestic? I doubt it.

hot summer night, storm clouds in the air:
1. Mike Bowden closed the game out. Thanks, Elvis.
2. This game story uses the word 'multi-bounced'.
3. Jose Iglesias batted second and Lavarnway took the night off. So did Lars Anderson, except Lars Anderson was probably benched for being willful and insubordinate and annoying.
4. Why not read PawSox Blog? This guy gets up at dawn and works very hard and is very methodical and accurate and professional. He thinks he's so illustrious, he calls himself intense.
5. "...[Cohoon's]looking better and better in Triple-A but progress is moving at a snail's pace as he figures out how to make his low velocity approach work for him against more advanced hitters." Says you, Rob Castellano of 'Amazin' Avenue!'

Jeremy Kehrt's pitching today. I haven't seen his delivery, so I'm waiting for that splendid day. Buffalo will throw Dylan Owen out there, if he can tear himself away from the Aloha Pussycats.

Me? I'm going to a Fisher Cats game! Why don't you come with me? Will Middlebrooks is gonna be there...

Gary Chen is a suspicious character.

2011-07-23T21:49:00.003-04:00

I am not sure what to make of this, but it seemed interesting so here you go.

I am quoting from the blog 'Baseball Fly'.

Frank's Field of Dreams 提到...

Gary Chen is someone who I knew through my time as an interpreter for the four Boston Red Sox' minor leaguers they signed in 2006, he's a very suspicious character, mostly being a jerk who likes to boss people around and act like they work under him.

There are plenty of stories I could say about him, but let's just go with a couple right now, I am not someone who is putting up wrong information.

#1, Gary first contacted me through my website, www.franksfieldofdreams.com, all he asked was my AIM screen name, and said he is just a fan wanted to talk about baseball. After talking to him for an hour online, he told me the reason why he contacted me, wanted to see if I would be interested of working as an interpreter. During our first contact, he also told me he is good friend with Tsao, which I seriously doubts now after reading the above.

#2, My University student newspaper and the town's local paper interviewed me after I told one of my former professor of my new job at the time, he found out, and got very upset at me, must have yelled at me on the telephone for about 30 minutes over it, and I was working at the time with players on the field, games going on etc.

#3, Gary called just about everyday to check players' status wants to know every detail that goes on in their life, such as 1 pm, what did they do, 3 pm, what did they do, what kind of food they ate for dinner, how much weights they lifted today, or what kind of conditioning they did after practice today etc., acting like he's their agent, more than just a friend or the scout who discovered them, after I mention it to my real boss, Craig Shipley, he promised that Gary will back off and stop bothering me because Gary, as a scout, is not with the player development.

#3, The highest paid player, Chiang, sort of get special treatment from Gary, he received a PSP from Gary during his time scouting him, when he brought it over to Fort Myers, it wasn't working and needs to be fixed, Gary once again called me after Shipley told him to leave me alone, this time in a better tone than the last one, wanted me to mail it to his hometown of Huntington Beach, CA so he can get it fixed, first I told him why don't I just take him to the local Edison Mall in Fort Myers and get it fixed, he said he brought it for Chiang, let him take care of it. I told him sure, I will get the equipment manager Mike Stelmach to mail it to him since he is the one handling the mails at the Minor League complex, after I told Mike about it, he said no, because Red Sox don't do "this and that" for any of the players. I told Gary I couldn't mail it to him, guess what, he lost his temper again, and now switching back to his bossy mode, even had the audacity of asking me, why don't I just take it to the local post office? Where I don't have transportation. This is one of example where he wanted me to do stuff against organization policy.

#4, One of the player, Yeh had bunch of instant noodles mailed from Taiwan (must been at least 30 cups) to him from his parents, but had to leave for Lowell two weeks later, I told him I will given the rest to the other three players arriving later, which I did. One day, Chiang ate instant noodle for lunch, Gary found out, again he was very furious at me, this time for not being able to take Chiang out for lunch, well...

#1, Chiang never asked me to take him out, Gary said it is my duty to knock on his door everyday, asking him where he wants to go eat, where this kind of special treatment don't go on the other three players.

#2, Chao-Ting Tang who is with the Tigers now, was on his last day of his three day trial in Fort Myers. If I am not wrong, I left the hotel around 11 am that day to help him check in the airport, so I skip lunch, and was not in hotel.

This time, after previously being chewed out on the phone few times prior, I told him to quit acting like my boss, and I work for the team not him. But he said I wouldn't have the job without him, well...who contacted who for help at first? I enjoyed every co-workers I had very much, front office people to the ones stationed in Fort Myers year round, but Gary was the only one who disrespected me very much and made my job tougher.

I decided to quit in July after I couldn't took his garbage anymore, less than five months I start the job, and less than two months from finishing it, the Red Sox went through several more Taiwanese scouts after I resigned until they settle with the current one, Mickey Jiang.

Did I mentioned that once Gary talked to Yeh during practice, and it got Craig Shipley upset because no players should be on the phone during practice/game? Gary just didn't understand what his job really is.

The above are not entirely everything I know about his sketchiness. I have more to whistle-blow, but I don't need to at this moment. By the way, I am sure Gary will see this, just to let him know, just about every co-worker (they might no longer be with the Red Sox now) I knew in Fort Myers also told me you were sketchy, one of them even told me "are you really a doctor" because if you are, you are not the one he would go see if he's sick.

Thanks to everyone who read my rant.

2009/3/21 上午 9:02

Frank's Field of Dreams 提到...

Just to clarify, Tang was at the Red Sox workout after playing the East/West High School All-American game in New Mexico in the summer of 2006, which he already graduated from San Ming High School.

However, people have heard that Gary Chen signed a couple other players early, it is up to the individuals to decide if he did or not.

'Frank' is Frank Lin. I'm guessing Chiang is Chih-Hsien. Right? Geez, and I thought being an interpreter for a baseball player would be a cool job, but not if I'm responsible for like knocking on their door to see what they want for lunch. Damn that Gary Chen!

BUT! Gary Chen responds in the comments!

I can honestly say I did whatever I can to help the Taiwanese players. For anyone interested, feel free to ask Taiwanese players Chih-Hsien Chiang, Chih-Hsiang Huang, Wang-Yi Lin, and Ting-Jen Yeh about what kind of person Frank was and how he performed as an interpreter. They've had several interpreters and the ONLY one that they had issues with was Frank. I didn't need to act as the bad guy if the players didn't have issues with Frank. I do whatever I can to help the players and Taiwanese baseball. Frank, I suggest you look in the mirror and ask yourself how much you did to help the Taiwanese players in their transition to living and working in the U.S. You quit because you knew a replacement was coming in for you because the players just couldn't take it anymore. I highly recommend you speak with the players about their take on you. Also, by the way, Mr. Shipley just invited me over to camp last month. My goal is not to please people, and my goal is to help the Taiwanese players and Taiwanese baseball. I am totally content to piss off and disrespect people that put themselves ahead of Taiwanese baseball and players.

Hmm, okay. Mr Lin's response?

You mean by sending them porn DVDs/passwords because they were bored, or let them view adult videos while you were hosting them at your house while they are still in High School around the age of 16? Or how about when you used Chih-Hsien Chiang's e-mail account to e-mail Mike Stelmach about wanting to order some bats and have them sent to you, trying to impersonate Chiang in the e-mail?

Would you really have "helped" the players if they didn’t give you a portion of their signing bonus?

And it goes on for quite a while. Other items of interest:

1. Frank Lin: "I don’t think a guy who approaches as young as junior high Taiwanese players with promises of playing professional baseball in the US is completely concerned with helping Taiwanese baseball. I think your motivations are clear. Why don’t you just explain to them from the get-go that they will be charged a representation fee, and that you are acting as a player agent? Anyone who claims to hold any respect toward the game of baseball would be a scout when he claims to be a scout, and an agent when he claims to be an agent. Can’t be both. That is called ‘conflict of interest’."

2. Gary Chen: "You have falsely accused me of things and damaged my reputation. I have spoke with the Red Sox front office and the players, who are very supportive of me, and I will be pursuing legal action against you regarding your false accusations. "

3. Lin: "...of course the players will side with you, had they admits your wrongdoing, that basically meant they are guilty in this scandal as well, if anyone go ask Chiang was he signed early, he would say no, he told his coach this while he was still in HS, and he indeed was already signed by you, otherwise the CTBA wouldn't suspended his school."

4. Lin: "All players must be treated equally, that's one of the rules posted on the wall of Fort Myers office, I am sure you missed that while you visited there."

5. Chen: "Getting hated by players is the most damaging thing to one's character/reputation in the Taiwanese baseball community in case you don't know." (Oh, really?)

6. Lin: "Also, once again, you do not understand that I work for the team, not you, or the players that you spoiled and made lots of promise of extra benefits to, if they disliked me because I wasn't willing to give them extra benefits compare to you, or help them lie to the coaches when they refused to do what the team required and have the team found out in the end which force them to have the coaches let them know if they do it again it will be a $20 fine, then I have no problem of being the guy that's hated. They also hated the long conditioning program Red Sox had compare to Taiwan, should trainers be blamed for it when the players hated their request of running laps and do weights? Shipley told me there was no need for me to run errands on their behalf." (Craig Shipley's coming out smelling like a rose on this one.)

7. Lin: "It is the players' responsibility to follow team rules that I explained to them, if they choose to skip regular English classes in order to chat with Gary on MSN, it is their fault. If they don't tip the hotel drivers when they want to go Wal-Mart, to cause the driver refuse to take them to places, it is their fault. I am not sure what extra stuff you want me to do for the players, but I am certainly sure it is the extra benefits and personal errand runs that Gary wanted me to do, if Chiang is not going to be willing and ask that if I can go to the post office with him, I have no responsibility of go knock on his door and ask, Mr. Chiang, may I take your PSP to the post office by myself, so I can mail it to your friend Gary in California." YEAH! Let Chiang go to the PO himself!

link to all comments

7.21.11 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Buffalo Bisons - At the Hotel

2011-07-23T09:32:00.002-04:00

Red Sox win, 4-2. Maybe they weren't so overheated, being by the lake and all.

Before I go any further... Do you love me? Will you love me forever? Sorry. No, what I meant to ask was have you ever heard Che-Hsuan Lin's at-bat song? It's not something I am familiar with, but when I hear it it reminds me of 'Eleanor Rigby'. WICKED BAD.

The starting pitcher and winner for the Pawtucket Red Sox was Matt Fox. Fox went ahead and pitched six innings, giving up two runs on five hits, including a home run by second baseman Luis Hernandez. Fox also struck out six and walked two.

The Buffalo MC was Chris Schwinden. Schwinden got one out in the fifth inning, but since his pitch count was 111, he was replaced by Brian Sweeney. The Mets certainly do work their minor league starters, I've noticed. At least at the triple-A level. And for what?

Pawtucket first attacked Schwinden in the first inning, when hit machine Lin led off with a single. 优秀的! Lin's loving the Rhode Island summer and is now dragging his bat to Buffalo. Please don't let Boston take him away, please!!!

With Lin at first, Lavarnway hit a home run. Like, oh, oops, there it goes. 2-0 PawSox.

In the top of the third, Lin singled with one out. He was driven in by Lavarnway, who doubled to right. I was at the game the other night and before the game, Lavarnway was hugging and high-fiving and chest bumping his teammates. He looked so happy, and why wouldn't he be? Luis Exposito might as well not even exist at this school. Anyway, 3-0 Pawtucket. Or 3-1, because of the Hernandez home run in the bottom half of the inning. Yes, the old 'Hernandez Home Run'. Sounds like one of those fake sex moves.

In the fourth inning, Ronald Bermudez hit a solo home run, his third of the season.

And finally, Val Pascucci hit an RBI double in the sixth to cement the score at 4-2. What, again? Okay, fine, here it is: THE VAL PASCUCCI SONG!!!

Relievers Scott Atchison and Michael Bowden got the last nine outs in tidy, scoreless fashion. They may be southern ladies, but they manhandled that bitch. Well, Atchison may have been tripping balls, because not only did he throw a wild pitch, but he hit two batters. Whatever, it's Buffalotown, baby!

By the way, you know the best way to get everyone in a hotel lobby to turn and look at you? Carry a piping hot pizza toward the elevators! There was a good, good pizza place near my hotel in downtown Buffalo... Open late, too! I SAW MIKE LOWELL REHAB IN BUFFALO! I will never stop talking about it.

no one comes near:
1. Brent Dlugach went 0-4 with three K's.
2. Bubba Bell played in this game as a pinch runner.
3. After Pascucci's RBI double in the sixth, he tried to steal third. It would be the final out of the inning. Dude. Pascucci has not stolen a base since 2009. He is not what you would call a base stealing threat. What was he thinking?
4. Buffalo's Rodney McKissic would like to tell you all about it!
5. Brent Dlugach is back, Matt Sheely's on the DL. Right. Hey, Matt Sheely, Jeff Natale called. He wants his career back. And also, he think he may have left a roach in his locker.
6. This game was three hours and twenty minutes long. I would blame Chris Schwinden's lack of control. Not Atchison, who works faster than nearly anyone I've seen. Bowden's slowish, too...

Tonight! More Buffalo! Duckworth up against Mark Cohoon! Who? JUST SHUT UP AND ENJOY THE RADIOCAST!

LIN CHE HSUAN!!!!!!

7.21.11 But have you ever been to a PawSox game ON POT?

2011-07-22T06:54:00.004-04:00

Hideki Okajima LOSES! on an off-night, 5-4.

Alright, shall we? Red Sox starting pitcher was Tony Pena, who went seven innings and gave up two runs on four hits. First run for the IronPigs (sigh) came in the second inning, when Brandon Moss led off with a walk. Back-to-back singles scored Moss for the first run.

Pena's second mistake was giving something good to little Rich Thompson, who hit a solo homer in the fifth. Awww! It was Thompson's third dinger of the season.

Lehigh Valley starter Ryan Feierabend gave up hit after hit and looked to be in line for the loss when he exited the sixth with two outs. The Red Sox got two off Feierabend in the first inning when Ryan Lavarnway hit a two-run homer. Geez, Lavarnway, pace yourself! And the third run during Feierabend's gig came during the sixth, when Luis Exposito hit an RBI single. Awww, look, how cute! The other catcher's trying to get big hits, too!

Hideki Okajima skipped out to the mound in the eighth with the score at 3-2 PawSox. Easy eighth, right? No! It was awful! A bloodbath! Third baseman Kevin Frandsen and his UGLY, red-and-nacho cheese colored cleats singled with one out. Second baseman Pete Orr followed that with a double, putting two runners in scoring position for Brandon Moss,who sac flied to center. Orr scores! And then Delwyn Young, the petite right fielder, took it upon himself to knock it out of the park. Two-run homer! 5-3 Pigs!

In the bottom of the eighth, a single by Luis Exposito and a slew of sacrifice-style outs off reliever Sidney Ponson tacked another run onto Pawtucket's score, but alas. It was hopeless. The mini-Phils were just too clever by half. Justin De Fratus came in for the save and got all the outs. No sweep for the Red Sox. Good game, though.

an informal upgrade:
1. I'm sorry, did I say Sidney Ponson? I meant Mike 'Bronko' Zagurski. They look so much alike!
2. Jose Iglesias came back, didn't finish the whole game but baby steps are fine. He got two singles so that was lovely. And he executed a nice, sideways scissoring infield play in the sixth to get Delwyn Young out at first.
3. We've got lots and lots of errors! Shortstop Brian Bocock threw a ball to first and it was wicked high in the first inning. Delwyn Young found his reason to homer in the fourth. And the most ugly one of all: Pete Orr couldn't pick up the ball in the seventh.
4. Clevelan Santeliz pitched the ninth inning. I did see Bowden warming up, prancing around in the bullpen like he was Barry Zito or something. I wonder if the other relievers roll their eyes?
5. Hector Luna hit a double and a triple!
6. Ryan Lavarnway almost hit a second home run in the ninth. It was way! Back! To left by the PawSox bullpen! But then Brandon Moss somehow snapped it up. I can't even be too mad, because Moss is as sweet as they come.
7. I noticed that the visitor's dugout bat boy had to wear a Lehigh Valley jersey. The player? Jason Grilli, who just just got signed by the Pirates. Ha.
8. IronPigs manager Ryne Sandberg could not be there last night due to being inducted into the Hall of Fame! Hitting coach Sal Rende ran the show.
9. Wrong Tony, Staff Report: This article refers to Pena as 'Armas'. Sure.
10. Bacon and Biscuits game story (featuring poll).
11. Attleboro's Peter Gobis talks to Lavarnway and Exposito about being catchers and being hot. "You can't put that as an excuse, you can't bitch about the heat or the cold," sez Exposito. Good stuff, Gobis! What's an ammonia towel?
12. Big star Josh Reddick popped into McCoy on his day off to say 'hi'.
13. It was Hideki Okajima's first loss of the season. Not that he minds.
14. How much B-Mac can you handle?! I saw both guys exiting the park together. Arm in arm. They were wearing aspirational homburgs.
15. Speaking of which, here's a McGair story in which Ryne Sandberg talks about Pedroia and such. It's good stuff, but you would think the accompanying photo would be of Sandberg.

Tonight! Buffalo! Matt Fox @ Chris Schwinden in the Empire State/Canada. Leave now and you will make it.

7.20.2011 Pawtucket Red Sox v Lehigh Valley IronPigs - Too Tight.

2011-07-21T13:07:00.003-04:00

2-1 Slater Millsters. Low scoring game that ran over three hours long. But Pawtucket's been hot shit lately, just winning all over the place and creeping up on the Pigs. I'll bet those guys get mad ladies!

Starter for the Red Sox, Kevin Millwood, pitched seven innings, giving up one run on seven hits. Millwood did not get the win; Jeremy Kehrt did.

Durham... No, Lehigh Valley. The IronPigs' starter was Nate Bump, who only gave up one run during six innings. In fact, the game was neatly knotted up until the ninth inning, when reliever Michael Schwimer got down on his knees and blew the game. Nate Spears walked with one out. Exposito singled. Bermudez struck out, but sexy outfielder Che-Hsuan Lin hit a line drive single to right on a full count. Spears ran home and everybody was so happy.

Pawtucket was only 1-9 with runners in scoring position. On the plus side, everybody except Lavarnway and Bermudez got hits. And also, we knocked down the SunSphere. Wait, did I say Lavarnway? I meant Dlugach.

No, I really meant Lavarnway. I had to check like ten times, but he really did not get a hit last night. Except off the crack pipe. No, not really. I'm pretty sure Ryan Lavarnway does not smoke crack. My official position is apologetic.

Okay, I will tell you one bad thing about Lin. He tried to run home from first on a Nava double to center. Lin was thrown out at home by way of a Thompson-Bocock relay. YEAH, BABY! There's a "relay" I could get down with!

But wouldn't that be Arnie Beyeler's fault, what with him being a world-class third base coach (tm Stephen Fife)? Yeah! Screw you, Beyeler!

Anderson La Lin Luna H:
1. Les Walrond also pitched for LV. It was one inning, nothing happened. He needed the money! In fact, Walrond's got a sub-one ERA so he must be doing something right. And this is officially the most attention I will give Les Walrond unless he starts buying my groceries.
2. Che-Hsuan Lin was responsible for both Red Sox RBI. And... there it is. He is officially my favorite. All it took was injuries to Rich Hill and JC Linares.
3. If the IronPigs would like to point fingers at anyone, it should be Kevin Frandsen, who twice made the last out with runners in scoring position. What a pain in the ass typing out 'runners in scoring position'. If only there were some kind of snappy acronym!
4. Take it away, Terry Nau! (includes photo of players throwing water at Nate Spears FAYCE!!!
5. You know if Lavarnway ever got the call to Boston, and he went hitless in his first game, there would be fans yelling, "Who is this fucking Laverne guy? Tito put this bum in the lineup? Trade him for that Blue Jays home run guy!" Anyway, here's a Lavarnway story out of Miami, for some reason.
6. A Lavarnway quote from the aforementioned story: "Trying to play GM is one of the worst things you can do." Okay, maybe. I would say that in many ways, Theo is trying to play Tyra Banks.
7. Attleboro's Peter Gobis talks about Lin Che-Hsuan. Read it, it's very nice indeed!
8. DREW SUTTON IS BACK!!
9. !!!

TONIGHT!!! More Lehigh Valley. Lehigh missed the boat that day he left the shack. Maybe I'll go? Pena's pitching, so that's kind of boring. Ryan Feierabend opposes. should be nice and toasty at McCoy. I hope it gets even hotter!

7.19.2011 Pawtucket Red Sox v Lehigh Valley IronPigs

2011-07-20T06:57:00.002-04:00

Like my hair band lineup? Pawtucket wins 7-2. Ryan Lavarnway continues his historical run of SMASH! Yeah, I said historical. Do not even act like it isn't cool. Don't be all like, "Yes, but it's a small sample size and he's got no real position and he's facing AAA pitching NONONO NO!!! Just go to a PawSox game for once in your life.

Red Sox starting pitcher was Felix Doubront. Doubront went from throwing like 90-ish pitches in his last couple of starts to 69 last night. He pitched 4 1/3 and gave up one run on three hits.

Scott Atchison, Clevelan Santeliz, and Jason Rice put their magic rings together and transformed into an effective relief corps. Most dramatic transformation goes to Jason Rice, who pitched two hitless, walkless (?) innings and had three K's.

Lehigh Valley starter Brian Bass stretched himself out, pitched seven innings, threw 101 pitches. Bass gave up five runs on six hits, including a home run by Matt Sheely. No, not really. The homer was Lavarnway's, of course.

Bass kept the Red Sox scoreless until the fourth inning, when the talented and lovely Che-Hsuan Lin led off with a single. Lin made it over to second on a pick-off attempt error and then over to third when Nate Spears grounded out. And then Lavarnway doubled. And then Anderson doubled. Hey, didn't that happen on Tuesday, too? Creo que si. 2-1 Pawtucket!

Later on in the sixth inning with the score tied at two, Lin and Spears led off with back-to-back singles. I am going to start a dating service called 'Back-to-Back Singles'. Does that sound porny? Not my intent. I was going to say that Lin must be magic or something, because he scored when Spears singled to third. Turns out that third baseman Kevin Frandsen made an error. And that's when Lavarnway stepped in and hit a home run. It's like science fiction. It's the mysterious work of the FSM.

But Pawtucket was wild and insatiable last night. When Justin De Fratus came in to relieve Bass, the Red Sox reacted with whorish frenzy. Spears got on base again, this time by way of an error. He stole second while Lavarnway was dicking around at the plate, taking pitches, working the count, obtaining a walk. Both runners advanced on a passed ball. Anderson singled to left, scoring Spears. Then Hector Luna, who's been quiet lately. RBI SINGLE HECTOR LUNA!!! 7-2 PawSox!!

Good work, everyone. Who needs Reddick or JC Linares? Or Kalish? Wait, no, we really do need those guys. I'm just worried about Matt Sheely getting released.

backstage pass:
1. Doubront left the game with some kind of leg cramp. He crumpled over on the mound, which you really don't wanna see.
2. Che-Hsuan Lin on his error: "I don't know what happened, I don't even want to think about it." He sounds a little freaked out.
3. Tony Thomas and Luis Exposito both went 0-4 with 2 K's.
4. Pawtucket's creeping up on Lehigh Valley. They are now only two games out of first in the Northern Division. All thanks to Luis Exposito!
5. Through six games at McCoy, the IronPigs are 2-39 with runners in scoring position.
6. Hey, red pinstripes are cooler!

Todaygame! More Pigs, more Lavarnway doing it to them. Kevin Millwood, Nate Bump. Nate Bump? Yes, he is still around.

Later!

7.18.11 Pawtucket v Lehigh Valley - Ranking the IronPigs in order of hotness.

2011-07-19T12:28:00.004-04:00

Pawtucket wins 4-1. Ryan Lavarnway is less man than raw meat with arms. I have to say that I have never seen anything like it since I started this blog back in 1999. It's nearly supernatural, like the voice of Roxane Coss.

Starting pitcher for the PawSox was Brandon Duckworth on short notice. Duckworth's a good-looking man. Very solid. Seems really normal, like he could be your neighbor. Duckworth pitched five scoreless innings with three strikeouts and a walk. On second thought, can your neighbor do that? Maybe not mine, but he mows a mean lawn.

For the Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs, we get Scott Mathieson. Mathieson's like the Maryland of state quarters. He didn't work too hard, though, not even getting that crucial last out in the third. Instead, it was lefty Ryan Edell, who's a Massachusetts guy and is effortlessly handsome in a way that makes you hate him. I mean, go take a look at this guy. Super cute.

Edell pitched pitched 4 1/3 innings and gave up two runs. Add that to the two runs given up by back-to-back doubles off Mathieson and you have four runs. I know my gazintas!

Hideki Okajima pitched a couple of scoreless innings, natch. Michael Bowden and his Persistent Itch finished off the game, gave up the only IronPigs run.

Thanks, I'm keeping it brief because it's getting so late.

memoria:
1. This game is alarmingly like one I attended on June 17th, where I was inspired to describe Edell as 'Dirty. Unkempt. Hot. Erect.' Wow, that is really unlike me. Duckworth also pitched that game AND Lavarnway hit two home runs. That was a pretty good game.
2. The Red Sox made three errors: Duckworth (pickoff error), Lin (fielding), and Exposito (catcher interference).

Tonight! More Pigs at 7. Doubront and Brian Bass will tango under the lights. Ryan Edell will be idle, so if you're into jock c. you might wanna make a run at this guy.

7.17.11 Pawtucket Red Sox v Durham Bulls - Uniform Numbers

2011-07-18T07:07:00.003-04:00

Durham Bulls WIN! 13-3.

Some crazy guy I used to work with used to talk about this friend of his, Craig Albernaz, who was in the Rays org. Had I ever heard of him? No. But now, here he is. Pretty sure he is from Somerset, MA.

Starting pitcher for the Red Sox was all-star Matt Fox, who pitched his second bad start in a row. Would we say the last one was bad? I can't remember. Fox gave up seven runs yesterday. And I really don't wanna go through everything like I did yesterday, so I will merely say that I can't wait to see the back of Felipe Lopez, who evidently likes McCoy Stadium. A LOT. Lopez went 3-6 with 5 RBI. Jesus.

Bulls starter Brian Baker pitched five innings and gave up all three Pawtucket runs. Mike Ekstrom and his pals Spinner and Paddlefoot kept the rest of the game scoreless.

Durham slapped some runs up on the scoreboard in the fourth inning, which featured an RBI double by that brat Felipe Lopez and a two-run single by center fielder John Matulia. Ooh, what's prettier than a fresh-cut arrangement of Matulias? Especially this time of year!

Pawtucket got one back in the bottom of the fourth, but a sac fly by Dan Johnson in the fifth added another run to Durham's lead. And in the bottom of the sixth, Pawtucket got their last two runs, thanks to RBI doubles by both Tony Thomas and Ronald Bermudez. I was going to say that Tony Thomas was better than Lars Anderson, but he is not. I looked it up.

Innings 7-9 put the Bulls streets ahead of the Red Sox. They scored nine runs altogether off Dennis Neuman and Jeremy Kehrt. Oh, by the way, Dennis Neuman is back with Pawtucket. My goodness, where has he been? Did he get caught in a Narragansett riptide? Was he on Prudence island growing vegetables? If only there were some way of knowing!

neil solondz:
1. Remember Alex Cobb, who pitched Friday? He was hit on the back of the head while playing catch before a game at McCoy. The culprit? FELIPE LOPEZ, who hit a line drive during BP.
2. I just looked at some pictures of Felipe Lopez. Turns out he's kinda foxy. And also, kind of a dick. Whatever, I still don't like that guy.
3. Felipe Lopez was on the Boston Red Sox last year. He played in four games for them last September.

Tonight! Felix Doubront v Scott Mathieson in an IronPigs adventure. Can I go back to bed, now?

Saturday Game, Everybody's Fault

2011-07-17T14:10:00.002-04:00

You really have me all wrong.

Durham Bulls win 11-8 in a game that was crap on a spatula. Geez, where do I even start? I should just cut n paste the entire game recap. The good, the bad, and the argyle.

First inning, who's pitching for the Pawtucket Sox? It's Tony Pena (Jr), who gets a K and two groundouts. Clean, real clean. Like my conscience. Bottom of the first, Matt... Matt? Torra? Pitching for the Bulls, not 'Da' Bulls, just some skinny little Rays kidz. Che-Hsuan Lin, or 'Lin Che Hsuan', as he likes to be called, hit a single as did Lavarnway. And yet, Pawtucket did not score.

Inning two: Dan Johnson leads off with a single, Canzler GIDP. And a flyout ends the inning. So far, nothing too exciting. Pawtucket half, Dlugach solo homer. Bermudez and Lin each singled, Lin stole second, but Nava struck out. 1-0 Red Sox.

Top of the third: A single and a walk, but nothing. Bottom half, three outs, but Lavarnway hit a double because there is no possible way this kid can be that good.

Ready for the fourth inning? Take a deep breath. Bulls second baseman Felipe Lopez reached on a Tony Thomas error. Tony, you're a star in nobody's eyes but mine. Strongman Dan Johnson becomes Ropeman when he hits a line drive single to right. Runners at the corners for Russ Canzler, or 'Canz' as Hyder refers to him. Canzler walks, bases loaded, no outs.

Left fielder Leslie Anderson batted next. Did you know that he was Cuban? Anderson hit a line drive double, scoring Lopez and Johnson. Catcher Robinson Chirinos grounded out for the first out of the game, scoring Canz.

Okay, steady as she goes. Tony Pena, still going after it, facing Daniel Mayora. HIT HIM. Ray Olmedo, next guy, line drive double to right fielder Daniel Nava, who usually plays left but Carl Crawford's playing left. Anderson scores. Desmond 'Jones' Jennings doubles, again to right. Minora and Olmedo both score.

Tony Pena, all done. Jason Rice, welcome to the jungle. Rice immediately impresses his teammates by hitting Brandon Guyer with a pitch. Oh, hell. Are we still in the fourth inning? And hey, wait, is that Felipe Lopez, coming around again like Carly Simon? Yup, and he singled to... where? To right field, of course, scoring Jennings. Daniel Nava must have had quite a workout last night, and I don't mean that in a sexy way.

And yet Rice buckled down and managed to get the last couple of outs. The score was 7-1. And then things started getting weird. Run for cover, there's a big one coming.

BOTTOM OF THE FOURTH. This is a song about a superhero named Tony who singled to left to start the inning. Just keeps bouncing like a bouncing ball. Then Brent Dlugach walked. Thunderheads rolled in. Ronald Bermudez hit a single after that, porque los que no se banan tienen suerte. Tony Thomas scored! Then Che-Hsuan Lin, who is like my favorite, singled to left, scoring Dlugach.

Next batter was daniel nava, whose name keeps coming up lower case for me so let's leave it that way. Nava grounded into a force, Lin out at second. So, not an FC, then? Got it. Matt Torra was given the gate in favor of RJ Swindle and his fat-ass pitches.

Swindle faced Carl Crawford, who popped out so softly and slowly. Then Lavarnway, who walked. Lavarnway can do it all. And hey, clutch hitting ain't like going down to the pond chasing blue gills or tommycots. Unless you're Lars Anderson, I guess, who hit a grand slam for now apparent reason. RJ Swindle, what happened?

Hector Luna struck out after that whole thing, but the game was tied at 7.

FIFTH INNING. More Lumberjack Hedgemaze Mayhem! Although Durham went down in order in the top half, the ass half was like the Revenge of Dr. Tongue. Righty reliever Ryan Reid stepped in for Swindle. Tony Thomas, the world's most popular Portland up-and-downer, led off with a double. I really don't need Thomas to return to Maine, you guys. Brent Dlugach, who is not one-dimensional, followed up with a single. Bermudez walked. Bases loaded with no outs? Yes, but nothing happened because baseball is a fuckhead. Except Nate Spears replaced Crawford. One day I will tell you a funny story about Nate Spears, but I have to wait until he leaves the room.

INNING SIX!!! Nava switched to right to take a breather. Jason Rice still in, even though he's been pitching for a million miles. Dan Johnson RBI single is all you need to know.

In the bottom of the sixth Ryan Lavarnway was caught stealing, in case you doubted his mortality.

Between the sixth and seventh, all this happened: Spears came in from right to play third. Matt Sheely played right. Clevelan Santeliz took the hill. Whoa, where the hell has he been? And Hector Luna got ejected for arguing strikes and balls.

Santeliz got everyone out in the top of the seventh, 1-2-3. Rob Delaney mirrored this accomplishment in the bottom half. They're all the same, just part of the machine.

EIGHTH INNING! Scott Atchison is pitching and everything's starting to feel like a fever dream. Desmond Jennings hit a double, but that was all. Pawtucket half - Three quick outs.

And at last, the ninth inning like a sandy beach, like a glass of lemonade. Felipe Lopez... Let's face it, how much does anyone know about his cat? No one seemed to notice how he was different, but I did. And I knew. Lopez doubled, is what I am trying to say. I would help him count the papers.

JJ Furmaniak came in to replace Lopez as a pinch runner. Atchison got Johnson to K, but Canz singled to right, scoring Furmaniak.

Home run Leslie Anderson. Two more runs. 11-7.

Ryan Lavarnway... Solo home run in the bottom of the ninth. Like everything's everything.

Thanks, I'm finished. I never want to read this again.

7.15.11 Get in Shape the Lavarn Way!

2011-07-16T07:07:00.005-04:00

Let's bang this out. Pawtucket wins 3-2 after being steered through six innings than none other than Kevin Millwood, because Kevin Millwood pitches for the PawSox.

So who pitched for Durham? Only everybody: Alexander Torres, Lance Cormier, Rob Delaney, Jay Buente, and Dane De La Rosa. Cormier took the loss.

Pawtucket scored first, first inning. Che-Hsuan Lin reached second on an error by shortstop Ray Olmedo, then advanced to third on a wild pitch. Nava singled, then Carl Crawford singled, scoring Lin. 1-0 Red Sox.

Durham tied the game in the third inning. Center fielder Brandon Guyer singled with one out. Guyer advanced to third on a wild pitch and a missed catch by Dlugach. Uh, oops. Millwood responded to this by issuing two consecutive walks. And then when Russ Canzler took an opportunity to ground out, Guyer scored. 1-1!

In the bottom of the fifth, Ryan Lavarnway hit a two-run homer. I mean, I could have just written that and called it a damn day. But I am committed to providing excellence at no cost to you, but at a substantial cost to me. I kinda thought that Lavarnway would have cooled off by now, but he is an animal. IN BED.

The Bulls scored a second run off Jeremy Kehrt in the seventh inning, mostly due to Ray Olmedo's double, but they left a couple of runners at the corners when first baseman Dan Johnson flew out to center. Dan Johnson is still kicking around.

Handsome Randy Williams got the save, getting the last out in the eighth with the bases loaded and then pitching a heavenly ninth. Williams struck out three batters during his brief appearance. Looks like Randy Williams is also an animal. But not in bed. Randy is a gentle and sensitive lover.

i ain't never gonna love nobody but carl crawford:
1. Read this thing about Carl Crawford. Isn't that what you're really here for?
2. Terry Nau, breakin' it down for the Woonsocket paper, which is the same as the Pawtucket paper.
3. How high was Peter Gobis when he wrote this? It's called a period, dude.

I think it is a REAL SHAME that sportswriters are overlooking Randy Williams' remarkable save last night. Well, some things are left up to the little guy and this is one of those instances. : )

One last thing: Brendan McGair should totally have tried to do a story on Andy Sonnanstine. I'll bet Sonnanstine would have been really receptive to that. I'm sure he would have been really accessible after the game. What? That would have been a great story and looked terrific in a portfolio! DON'T YOU WANNA GET THE HECK OUT OF PAWTUCKET, MCGAIR?

TONIGHT! More Durham Bulls and Tony Pena Jr, who really should behave himself better at home. Matt Torra with no record goes for the North Carolina team. I can't go, but thanks for asking.

RANDY!!!!!

7.14.11 The Durham Bulls are an annual pleasure.

2011-07-15T06:50:00.002-04:00

Brandon Duckworth WINS! 3-2. And the Durham Bulls are in town for their seasonal visit to Pawtucket! Well, they come in October, too, but that's just to look at the foliage and drink cider and go on hay rides.

Duckworth traipsed his way through 6 2/3 innings, giving up two runs on seven hits. Bulls DH Felipe Lopez hit a two-run homer in the second inning, accounting for all Durham's runs last night. Duckworth threw 99 pitches, struck out five and walked zero. Excellent.

Righty Alex Cobb started for Durham and gave up a couple of hits and a walk, but no runs. Leave that to Andy Sonnanstine, who's been demoted to get more playing time. Officially. Unofficially... I don't know, but let the record show that I am making the drinky-drinky motion. Sonnanstine pitched the meat of the game, giving up three runs through four innings and taking the loss for the sweet baby Rays.

All of Pawtucket's runs came off Sonnanstine in the fourth inning. Daniel Nava and catcher Ryan Lavarnway led the inning off with back-to-back singles. Lars Anderson saw meat on the bags and hit a line drive double to right, scoring D Nava. A sac fly to right by veteran Hector Luna scored Lavarnway to tie the game at 2. Next guy, Nate Spears. Spears popped up to third... ???... for a single. What was third baseman Daniel Mayora doing? And where was he? It wasn't an error, so it must have been a very, very lucky hit that fell in just the right spot. Or Mayora was lost in reverie. Or... Most likely the infield was pulled in for defensive purposes. But that's much less interesting.

Spears' hit scored Luna, and the Red Sox pulled ahead for good. Relievers Atchison and Bowden wrapped things up nicely, keeping the game a hair below 2.5 hours, but not before Bowden walked a couple of guys in the ninth. With a one-run lead. Yeah, that sounds about right.

migajas:
1. "Sonnanstine, 28, was said by several teammates to be upset by the move after spending all last season (except for a weeklong paper demotion) in the majors. The clubhouse was kept closed following Saturday's game until he left." - They probably kept it closed because Sonnanstine was going gorilla, smashing stuff and yelling. I know how these jockos operate.
2. Mike Eckstrom and RJ Swindle each pitched an inning for Durham. Swindle did it better.
3. Russ Canzler had the only other extra base hit for Durham, hitting a ground-rule double off Duckworth in the seventh.
4. And for Pawtucket, Hector Luna had the only other XBH: A double off Sonnastine.
5. Hey, look, Tony Thomas is back! Good FSU-style article here.
6. Alex Cobb has had a couple of starts in the big leagues. They were not stellar, but disastrous. Part of the problem may have been that he was tipping his pitches.
7. Brandon Duckworth works out, drinks green tea, maximizes his stamina.

TONIGHT! Carl Crawford is coming! Kevin Millwood gets the start for the PawSox, Alexander Torres goes for the Durham Bulls. I can't go. Why don't you? yeah, you go, take notes, then report back to me. There's a popsicle in it for you if you do it right.

Please give. $$$

Baby hit with ball, yes.

2011-07-14T13:03:00.002-04:00

So I have essentially confirmed that on July 3rd at McCoy Stadium, during a PawSox game, a baby girl was hit by a ball. Possibly in the head. A commenter stated that the baby is in ICU.

Sad. Let's all hope she recovers.

Ramp Champ #41: Fred Lynn

2011-07-14T10:18:00.002-04:00

Fred Lynn is a center fielder who played 124 games for the Pawtucket Red Sox in 1974. He was 22 years old.

Lynn hit 21 home runs that year and, more importantly, two triples. The home run total placed him at third in the International League. His strikeouts (88), put him fourth.

Two things:
1. Fred Lynn on the All-Star game: "I think it’s sad. ‘I want a rest’ is not good enough for me. It’s not a stressful atmosphere out here. It’s very relaxed. I think you should show up and play if you were voted in by fans." - from Busted Coverage
2. "They’re not Fred Lynn & Jim Rice I know, but this Kalish & Nava are the best two I’ve seen to come up from Pawtucket since the gold-dust twins. Nava & Kalish = Dirt Dog Twins. By that name alone, you know they arent as talented as their Gold Dust brothers, yet they give you great heart & effort with positive results." - from Two Cents from Beantown

Fred Lynn shares his mural with Lynn Swann in the first base tower lobby.

Brendan McGair texts and drives.

2011-07-12T20:12:00.002-04:00

Just saw BM in the downtown/East Ave/bridge construction area. I tried to get his attention, kinda, but I stopped short of honking my horn or slamming on my brakes (he was behind me).

What a pimp.

How to get into McCoy Stadium without paying.

2011-07-12T13:39:00.002-04:00

A couple of years ago, a friend of mine was at a Pawtucket hotel, possibly trying to get to Neil Walker or whatever, and ran into one of the PawSox players. This player was living at the hotel and had no car. Strange, especially considering the guy had played in the majors.

Anyway, the player had been walking to the park every day. So my friend offered to give the guy a ride. Out of gratitude, the player left a couple of free tickets at will-call for my friend.

That man was Jon Lester. Okay, not really. But my point is this: Even though they installed hardcore blockades at the top of the entrance ramps, you can still get into McCoy without paying.

Here are a few examples:
1. Read the Pawtucket paper. Sometimes they have this promotion with local businesses where the businesses will give away general admission tix if you show up in person.
2. Show up a little late. As in, sixth inning late. At that point you should be able to just drift in through the turnstiles.
3. Or just wait at one of the alternate ramps, wait for someone to exit, then slip in. Again, you'd probably need to wait until the later innings. By the way, this is probably illegal and I certainly would not advise anyone to do it.
4. Donate blood! Sometimes there's a bloodmobile parked out front. It only hurts a little. And that blood pressure cuff, ugh. And the squeezing and pumping, ew. Sometimes you break out into a cold sweat, too... Sometimes the needle goes right through your vein! You should see the extensive bruising when that happens!
5. Get a job at the park! You probably won't get electrocuted. LIKE I DID.
6. Be a kid! If you go to public school, camp, are a scout, or go to the library (unless you live in CF, then you're out of luck because THEY CLOSED THE G.D. LIBRARY), then it's a done deal.

What about me? Oh, I get free tickets all the time. The PawSox staff always takes time to tell me how much they enjoy Baseball Heavy. And they're so grateful for the attention I draw to the team and the park. I can't tell you how warm and accepting everyone has been down at HQ.

NOT.